You know the Cubs are competitors this year because their fans are getting ornery. And the target of their orneriness has been Alfonso Soriano, who plays left field as if he’s crossing ice with eels as slippers. But the Cubs organization has had just about enough of fans’ darned negativity.
A Cubs official offered protection for Soriano, instructing left-field bleacherites before Monday’s game that any profane or inappropriate comments made toward Soriano would result in their immediate ejection.
“If someone was overstepping their bounds, we would quickly correct the problem,” a Cubs spokesperson said, adding there were no problems.
Basketbawful has pulled out his Ouiji board, Magic 8-Ball and Tarot cards in order to give you a little prognostication for tonight’s game.
Manu Ginobili. He was the unquestioned goat of Games 1 and 2, and even moreso the unquestioned hero of Game 3. His “In yo face, suckah!” performance (30 points, 9-for-15, 5-for-7 in threes) was pretty damn impressive…especially when you consider he’s doing it with an arthritic ankle. Ouch. Seriously, though, some of those threes were wacko - one of them even made Kobe laugh - and I don’t know if that kind of lightning is going to strike twice. So the Spurs are going to need some…
Commodore Obvious! This is what Tim Duncan thinks the Spurs need to do to beat the Lakers in Game 4: “We have to contain them, limit what they do They have the best scorer in the league. He can get off in stretches. We have to be able to contain the rest of their team and understand that defense is what’s going to get us over the hump.”
Kobe Bryant, Part I.Dig this: Mamba shot 96 free throws in round two against the Utah. He’s had six so far against San Antonio. No, you read that right. Apparently, the Spurs don’t commit fouls. Amazing.
Kobe Bryant, Part II.Now dig this: Mamba isn’t as overwhelming when he’s facing a Bruce Bowen who has a Tim Duncan watching his back. This is a mystery that even the power of Mighty Science may never unlock.
Brent Barry. The Spurs could use somebody other than Ginobili to spread the floor. Barry is a known floor-spreader. Timmy wants Barry to get more minutes. You getting all this, Gregg?
Lamar Odom. He had a real “WTF?!” performance in Game 3: 7 points on 2-for-11 shooting, five missed free throws, and a game-high 5 turnovers. It was enough to keep a guy up at night. And it did. Lamar couldn’t sleep after the game. And Phil Jackson understood why. “I like players to get their rest, there’s no doubt. But any time you have a game of that importance and you don’t play well, you’re upset. It’s bothersome.” Bothersome? Dandruff is bothersome. The stink bomb Lamar dropped in Game 3 was more than “bothersome.” But whatever. I’m calling it now: Lamar will bounce back tonight.
Not to take sides on this Vanessa Bryant-Laura Lane cussing-out thing, but I’ve often imagined that living with Mrs. Bryant must be a lot like living with Susie Green from HBO’s Curb Your Enthusiasm. Of course you know that Bryant shrieked insults at ESPN’s Lane following the Lakers’ game on Friday, for things that Lane wrote about her online. And Lane wrote about the confrontation on her blog. But how do the insults compare to the best of Susie Green? Let’s take a look:
OK, see if you can guess which quotes are from tart-tongued Vanessa Bryant, and which are from the shrewishly evil Susie Green. Two points for every correct answer:
• “Laura! Fuck you! You fucking bitch!”
• “Where’s the fucking head? The kid is at home, hysterical, because her doll, Judy, has been decapitated, cause you two sickos took the head for God knows what reason; some voodoo shit you’re doing. Where is it?”
• “Fuck you! How dare you write about me and my daughters and their schedule! You didn’t say you were writing an article! Fuck you!”
• “Stop scratching your balls and tell me where it is! Alright just get me the fucking head, Alright?”
• “You fucking bitch! You have no journalism ethics! Fuck you! You bitch!”
• “Get me the fucking head, alright, both of you, I’ve had it! You four-eyed fuck and you fat piece of shit! Get me the head!”
• “I didn’t need that, man. She’s nuts.”
ANSWER KEY: Vanessa, Susie, Vanessa, Susie, Vanessa, Susie, both Jeff Green & Kobe Bryant.
I’ve always thought that this was an urban myth, but no, apparently it really exists. A couple of observations about this old Electric Company TV classic episode of Spidey Super Stories: 1. Why is Spider-Man relegated to the Shea Stadium bleachers? He doesn’t at least rate a box seat like Seinfeld? And, 2. See if you recognize the umpire. He’s done a few things since appearing in this. All in all, this presentation will make you give up drugs. Or if you don’t do drugs, will quite possibly make you start. Video following the jump.
We know Rick already covered this this morning, but we really can’t quite get over what has happened to the New York Mets. We don’t think Willie Randolph belongs in Isiah Thomas Country — for example, Willie Randolph, as far as we know, has not encouraged an atmosphere where interns can sleep with players and get promoted — but man, this team has absolutely fallen apart.
Peter Gammons gives his elegy, but no one knows that pain of an imploding team better than someone who watches them every single day, screaming at his television and pleading to the heavens. Take it away, Faith And Fear In Flushing.
Willie Randolph’s Record Since Last Memorial Day: 77-83
Days Until Contract of Luis Castillo (Key Strikeout, Otherwise an Acceptable Night in a Punchless Way) Expires: 1,222
Days Until Willie Randolph Is Fired: ?
Days Until I Give Up on This Listless, Unwatchable, Eminently Booable Team: -6
So, uh … we suppose we still feel a little bad about this. That was the last time matters weren’t horrible for the New York Mets. Where’s Bobby V when he’s needed most?
Just to appropriately taunt the sporting dieties — Patriots style — this T-shirt has officially been on racks. We’re not sure what this says about Deadspin readers, but three different people sent this to us over the weekend from the same ESPN Store at Disneyworld in Orlando.
We’re sure these have been produced for other teams, but something about Boston just riles the whole thing up, doesn’t it? So far, the Celtics have played the maximum number of playoff games, and they’re tied in their series. No matter what they are, they’re not dominant, and probably never wore. You can’t even really call this T-shirt a jinx; things are not going well enough for the Celtics to have any kind of jinx even be in play.
As we open the file of stuff you never in a million years thought would happen: Former major leaguer Geremi Gonzalez was killed by lightning on Sunday while riding a personal watercraft on a lake in his native Venezuela. You may recall that Gonzalez won 11 games for the Cubs as a rookie in 1997, but are you aware that he was the guy who delivered the pitch to Sammy Sosa in the infamous corked bat incident on June 3, 2003? And now he’s been taken in the most surreal way imaginable. Lightning? Really?
“It’s a tragic thing,” said Cubs manager Lou Piniella. “I liked him a lot. He was a competitive kid and really good-natured. He enjoyed putting on a uniform and competing and having fun. It’s a shame.” Gonzalez suffered an elbow injury in 1998 that eventually required Tommy John surgery. He missed four major-league seasons before resurfacing with Piniella¹s Devil Rays in 2003, going 6-11 in a career-high 28 starts.
According to the National Weather Service, your chances of being struck by lightning are greater than you think, probably; I was surprised to find out that it’s only 1-in-5,000 in the U.S., apparently (significantly higher for Iron Man). I recall walking from an auto repair shop to a hotel in Yreka, Calif., one afternoon when a sudden thunderstorm hit, with a couple of lightning bolts landing a few yards from me. It’s exhilarating and terrifying at the same time, and kind of makes you take stock of your life, in a strange way. I remember thinking, what did I do to piss off Zeus?
Condolences to Gonzalez’s family and friends at this tragic news.
We might as well have called this post “create your own baseball-pun headline!” An update to the ESRB website suggests that the classic Tengen baseball game R.B.I. Baseballmight be coming to Xbox Live Arcade in the near future, delighting retro sports gaming fans everywhere.
R.B.I. was a MLB-branded game on the Nintendo Entertainment System, first released in 1988. Still notably absent from the Wii’s Virtual Console service, the game is being developed by new studio Six Degrees Games, according to the ESRB. We’re personally thrilled to see classic sports titled revamped for XBLA, and would love to see even more. Blades of Steel, anyone?
You know the Cubs are competitors this year because their fans are getting ornery. And the target of their orneriness has been Alfonso Soriano, who plays left field as if he’s crossing ice with eels as slippers. But the Cubs organization has had just about enough of fans’ darned negativity.
I’ve always thought that this was an urban myth, but no, apparently it really exists. A couple of observations about this old 
We know Rick 
As we open the file of stuff you never in a million years thought would happen: Former major leaguer Geremi Gonzalez 
