Archive for May 20th, 2008

NBA Playoffs: A Tuesday Night Viewer’s Guide

Continue Reading May 20th, 2008

And on the second day, Basketbawful gave them a preview of Game 1 of the Eastern Conference Finals between the Detroit Pistons and the Boston Celtics. And it was good.

Detroit versus Boston: Game 1

The season series. The Celtics won it 2-1, taking the last two in Detroit and Boston, respectively. But based on the Pistons’ championship savvy, and the Celtics’ up-and-down-and-up-and-down play in the postseason, you might as well cram all that regular season stuff into a bucket, cover it with something flammable, set it on fire, and then throw it at your little sister. For example.

Rest versus rhythm. Which is better for a team going into the Eastern Conference Finals: What seems like several weeks worth of rest and relaxation, or the continuity of having been playing basketball every other day for the duration of the playoffs? Ray Allen thinks it’s the latter. “I would rather have the rhythm” of regular competition than extra rest “because (with) the rhythm you don’t have to guess from one day to the next” how you’ll play. Which is a funny comment coming from Mr. Shuttlesworth (but more on that below). Here’s the thing: If there’s one team that’s unlikely to be negatively effected by an extended layoff, it’s the Spurs. If there are two teams that meet that criteria, the other one is the Pistons.

Ray Allen. He was bad in the second round. I mean bad bad. He averaged something like 5 points on 17 percent shooting. And if you’re wondering: Yes, I totally made those stats up. But it sure felt like that — or worse — didn’t it? Word on the street is that Ray got in some extra shooting practice yesterday, which kind of like a magician sitting in his bedroom practicing the same card trick over and over. Shooting in the solitary comfort of the team’s practice facility isn’t the same as knocking ‘em down in an actual game with a sweaty hand in your face. But I’m sure Ray’s looking for something, anything, that’ll break this jinx. Personally, I think he should try some voodoo magic. Now where did I leave those Sankara Stones…

Note: The Celtics’ “Big Three” have been downgraded to the Wonderful One-Point-Eight, due to Ray-Ray’s miserable -1.20 performance in the second round. I dare you to defy the power of my math.

Home sweet home, Part XXII. Who says you need to win on the road? The Celtics don’t. That’s the glory of home-court advantage. But after two emotionally and physically draining seven-game series, it’s almost impossible for me to imagine the Pistons not winning one of the first two games at the TD Banknorth Garden. I mean, I can’t see all the rhythm in the world stopping that.

Kevin Garnett. The Big Ticket played better against the Pistons this season than almost any other team: 24 PPG, 54 percent shooting, and 7.7 RPG. Those are pretty good numbers against a pretty good defensive team. Won’t happen in this series, though, not against ‘Sheed’s long-armed defense. Or…will it?

Paul Pierce. Forget the 41-point bomb he dropped on the Cavs on Sunday. Truth flat-out struggled against the Pistons this season: 15 PPG, 36 percent shooting, and 5.5 RPG. But he also averaged 6.0 APG in those three games, so he was making things happen. And Pierce is Boston’s only real go-to guy, which I’m thinking they’re going to need in this series.

And the Celtics are going to defend…who, exactly? Who is the Boston D supposed to focus on when, literally, anybody on the Detroit roster could beat them on any given night. Doc Rivers — SURPRISE!! — has no idea. “It’s the exact opposite. You go from Cleveland and Atlanta in a lot of ways with Joe Johnson, where you focus on double-teaming, to playing a team that all the guys in the starting lineup are capable of having good nights.” After uttering those cryptic final words, Doc’s head exploded, showering the nearby media members with gory bits of blood and brains.

History is on their side, Part XIII. The Pistons didn’t have homecourt advantage when they won the Eastern Conference Finals in 2004 and 2005.

Deep thoughts by Paul Pierce. So said-eth The Truth: “When you’re waking up you notice that the sun’s been out. It’s been warm outside. It’s very rare that you’re playing in the Eastern Conference that you’re still playing when it’s 70 degrees, so you know you’ve gone pretty far in the playoffs and I think some guys wake up and say, ‘hey, we’re still playing,’ and they get excited about it.” Profound!

It’s just been a learning experience. Really! Ray Allen thinks all the lousy play and inexplicable losses on the road has been like getting beaten up by Clubber Lang and then Mickey dying in Rocky III. In other words: A valuable learning tool. “We’ve learned a lot about each other. It’s good for us because as a team this is our first time together. Our valleys that we’re going through, seven games, adversity on the road. All that stuff that people say is a reason why we won’t win, it’s a reason why we will win.” So what we thought was yucky badness…it’s actually yummy goodness?! Well, shoot, when you put it that way, the Celtics totally have this one in the bag.

Tonight, Ping Pong Balls Galore

Continue Reading May 20th, 2008

It’s the NBA Draft Lottery tonight, otherwise known as “we can’t believe the Knicks didn’t trade away their first round pick.” If you get your jollies from doing mockups of ping pong balls bouncing around, Chad Ford, as always, has your back.

“Ping Pong Balls And A Dream” is what NBA.com is calling it, and hey, who can’t get excited about that? There’s no obvious No. 1 and No. 2 like Oden and Durant last year, though certainly Derrick Rose is going to make someone awfully happy. True Hoop has a good rundown of what each lottery team is thinking, and hey, look: Dwyane Wade will be representing the Heat! Talk about a fall. We hope he brings Star Jones with him.

So yeah: It starts tonight at 8 p.m. Ping pong balls and Dwyane Wade in a suit.

By the way, FanIQ has some “great” NBA Draft Lottery moments.

Could This Be The End For Our Pedro?

Continue Reading May 20th, 2008

First off, all of you Mets fans who are saying “Pedro who?”, just stop it. Pedro Martinez, who is on the verge of returning to New York’s starting rotation, says that this season might well be his last. And you don’t know it now, but you’ll miss him when he’s gone. Yes, you will.

“It’s taking a toll on me and my family, my dad’s situation,” Martinez said, referring to a form of brain cancer afflicting his 78-year-old father, Pablo. “I haven’t been there for them. I just realized that between last year and this year I haven’t been there for my family, my parents.

“That’ll probably drag me away from the game a little sooner than people expect. After this season, I’m going to go back home and think about it and I’m going to decide.”

Martinez, recovering from a hamstring injury, will meet the team in Atlanta today to throw in the bullpen, and may make a start on Monday at Shea against the Marlins. The three-time Cy Young Award winner is only 12-9 since 2005, and has appeared in only one game for the Mets this year. But even though he has rarely been around recently, I’ve always enjoyed the idea of Pedro Martinez as a Met, and it would be a shame to see him go.

Pedro Martinez Mulls Retirement At End Of Season [New York Daily News]

The End Of The I’m Not Gay-Era Is Official

Continue Reading May 20th, 2008

Mike Piazza, arguably the best hitting catcher of all time, has finally concluded that his services as a very expensive designated hitter have passed him by. He’s officially retired from baseball and released this statement via his agent:
“After discussing my options with my wife, family and agent, I felt it is time to start a new chapter in my life.It has been an amazing journey.”

Indeed. You almost forget just how good Piazza’s career stats are: .308 career average, 427 home runs and 1,335 RBIs .

However, Piazza will most likely be remembered for plenty of other things besides those gaudy numbers.

Farewell, you Fu-Machu’d squatting beacon of heterosexuality.

Mike Piazza Retires [Hot Foot Blog]

Shocking New Developments In The Yankee Stadium Jinx Story

Continue Reading May 20th, 2008

Viewers of MSNBC’s Countdown are aware of host Keith Olbermann’s scoop last night that a second Red Sox item is apparently buried somewhere beneath the concrete at the new Yankee Stadium. The same construction worker who buried a David Ortiz jersey in cement at the new stadium (which was dug up on April 13) has told friends he also buried a scorecard there from the 2004 American League Championship Series.

“And he isn’t telling anybody where,” Olbermann said of Gino Castignoli’s alleged additional attempt to jinx the Yankees. “That could pose a problem. The new park is pretty big.”

If any of this reminds you of the Seinfeld episode in which Jerry’s girlfriend says something in his apartment has been in the toilet, but won’t say what, then go to the head of the class.

Olbermann said he couldn’t reveal the source of his information beyond it being “a friend of the aforementioned cement mason.” He told Newsday that he has been getting tips on the story for the past week, but didn’t have a second source until yesterday. “He’s shooting his bazoo off,” Olbermann said.

So, when will demolition begin?

Curses: Another Boston Item Buried At New Yankee Stadium [USA Today]

More Red Sox Stuff Buried In New Yankee Stadium? [SOX & Dawgs]

Pro Athletes’ Coffee-Fetching Aspirations

Continue Reading May 20th, 2008

There’s apparently a new trend surfacing in the privileged life of professional athletes: the crappy off-season, low-paying internship. Sure, plenty of athletes over the years have prepared themselves for a life after sports by exploring other opportunities. Many have not.

Sean Avery made national news for his Vogue summer internship. Now, Dan Steinberg and his effervescent Bog shines its spotlight on Redskins’ defensive lineman, Demetric Evans, who’s also taking some time this summer to learn normal-people skills: at a D.C. car dealership.

His first few days have included tutorials on the dealership’s workflow, distribution of labor and management principles, mostly in one-on-one sessions with the general manager, which would be his first interaction with one of them in a while. Thursday, he’ll start spending a day in each department, beginning with the repair shop.

Although he says in the story that this isn’t just a front to get himself a sweet ride with dealer plates, it does seem a little suspicious. At what point do organizations begin to realize that there are free PR benefits from hiring a professional athlete as an “intern” if it gets them a lot of free publicity? As much as it appears Evans has only good intentions, we’re sure this is something that will be exploited at some point by some enterprising business looking for able-bodied defensive tackles to work the copy machine.

Demtric Evans At The Car Dealership [D.C. Sports Bog]

Yeah, Peyton Doesn’t Believe Favre Either

Continue Reading May 20th, 2008

Count Peyton Manning among those who don’t buy this whole Brett Favre Is Retiring balderdash. Manning is onto Mr. Favre and his oh, I’m done with the game claptrap.

“Like everybody else, I guess we’ll see what happens this fall,” Manning said with a smile. “In a lot of ways I kind of hope (he returns). Brett’s a guy that’s been such an influence on me and all young quarterbacks. [Your 11 years in the league doesn’t quite make you such a spring chicken, Peyton.] ” . . . I guess part of it is kind of hope, maybe, that he finds his way back in the NFL this year. … You never know.”

That sound you heard was Peter King scrambling out his front door and zipping to Kiln. Perhaps he’ll write about his flight at some point.

Peyton Manning Doesn’t Think Brett Favre Is Fully Retired [Sports By Brooks]

The Lions Continue To Be A Feel-Good Story In Detroit

Continue Reading May 20th, 2008

Let’s see … how could Matt Millen and the Detroit Lions possibly alienate fans any more than they already have. Hmm. Well, jeez, you know, we just can’t think of anything; we can’t imagine a conceivable way they could devastate that fan base more completely. Wait, here’s one: They could tell their fanbase to fuck off. Literally.

Accidentally, of course. A fan trying to cancel his season tickets got a rather unfriendly message from a team employee.

Furlong canceled his season tickets in an e-mail to Schul. Powser then e-mailed Furlong with an offer for more desirable seats, but Furlong said it was a matter of principle — and he wouldn’t accept the offer. Then Furlong received the inadvertent e-mail from [team employee] Schul.



The entire e-mail reads, “Lance…he is not talking about you here. Mark was asked to speak to these people and he said no. Fuck ‘em until next year.”

The real telling part of the story, we thought, is how Furlong, the season ticket holder, found his seats constantly downgraded each year, which is why he canceled his season tickets in the first place. God, Lions fans: Enjoy the Pistons while you can.

Does E-mail Show How Lions Really Feel About Their Fans? [The Oakland Press]



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