Sure he and his team may have missed the playoffs yet again and are likely fantasizing about what might have been while swinging at balls from the back nine, but that hasn’t stopped Columbus Blue Jackets’ young-yet-impressive captain Rick Nash from scoring cover duty on Take Two’s fall release of NHL 2K9. Also worthy of note from 2K is that developer Visual Concepts has “taken over” development duties for this latest game in the franchise — as opposed we assume to working in tandem with fellow studio Kush Games — and that the devs are rebuilding the title “from the ground up.”
Not to take anything away from three-time All Star Nash, but it’s still an odd choice, at least by team standings, given the Blue Jackets’ once again abysmal campaign during the 2007-08 regular season that saw the fledgling team rank near the bottom of both the Western Conference and overall league in points. However, perhaps those who make these kinds of decisions are hoping this is the sort of voodoo that will turn Ohio’s NHL franchise around — sort of like a reverse Madden curse.
n court Wednesday, Briggs’ ex-girlfriend Brittini Tribbett, 21, again pleaded for Briggs to provide adequate emotional and financial support for their baby girl, while another pregnant woman stood by, listening to talk of how she’s set to deliver a Briggs baby.
Briggs, 27, wasn’t in court. He is living in Arizona with yet another woman who recently gave birth to another daughter of Briggs, those involved in the case alleged.
Yep, Briggs is only 27; he has so much more time with which to plant seeds. Supposedly Briggs’ lawyer is close to reaching a settlement. Sweet. Time to get back to work.
Basketbawful is here to once again bring you a double-dose of his favorite things: Boobs and basketball, not necessarily in that order. Okay, in that order.
San Antonio versus New Orleans: Game 6
Home cookin’. In case you didn’t notice, home teams are 19-1 in the second round of this year’s playoffs. Plus, neither the Hornets or Spurs have lost at home this postseason. Call me crazy, but I get the feeling that trend is likely to continue tonight…
Elimination game. The Spurs always seem to be on the other side of this situation. Just ask the Phoenix Suns. They’re pretty efficient at closing teams out. But how good are they at staying alive? And forget, there’s the little matter of…
The Curse. San Antonio may have four titles in the last nine seasons, but they’ve never won ‘em back-to-back. And in each of the Spurs’ last three title defenses - following the 1999, 2003 and 2005 seasons - they were ousted in the Western Conference Semifinals or earlier. And you know, history has a funny way of repeating itself. Unless I just pulled a reverse stat curse. Crap!
Platitudes. San Antonio Gregg Popovich said: “The bottom line is that the better team wins in a seven-game series. I’ve always said that. So whoever wins the series it will be because they’re the better team.” Note that he’s “always said that.” You think that, if his Spurs lose, he’ll actually believe it?
Strategy session, Part I. New Orleans coach Byron Scott says his team has to approach the game with the official Sense Of Urgency ™: “The best opportunity for us is really (Game 6). We’ve got to look at it that way. We’ve got a chance to close out the defending champions.”
Strategy session, Part II. Chris Paul thinks the Hornets need to do, uh, something. “When you make shots and stuff like that, it helps a lot, but we just got to find some way somehow.” Some way. Somehow. Sounds kind of easy, doesn’t it?
Chris Paul and Tim Duncan. They are the two best players, and the best players usually cast the deciding vote in playoff elimination games. Bad news for the Spurs: Tim Duncan has been having a rough series, for him anyway. Bad news for New Orleans: Chris Paul doesn’t have a lot of experience closing teams out, let alone in a hostile road game.
David West. I don’t mean to toot my own tooter, but I called it. In my Game 5 preview, I said: “His Game 4 was both forgettable and regrettable: 10 points on 4-for-15 shooting. But that might actually be good news for the Hornets, since David has developed a habit of bouncing back from bad games.” And did he ever bounce back: 38 points, 14 rebounds, 5 assists, 5 blocked shots. He was a one-man Death Star blowing up Alderan. And it was as if millions of Spurs fans suddenly cried out in terror, and were suddenly silenced. Here’s the thing, though: West’s back is hurting and he has another habit…of following up great games with not-so-great games. So don’t expect a career-night from Dave in Game 6.
Tony Parker. The Flopping Frenchman is close to setting a personal record for most times falling down and grabbing his head in one series. But he needs a seventh game to make it happen. Look, the Spurs don’t stand much of a chance of winning the title this year, but at least TP can make a little history.
Tyson Chandler. Is it too early to start calling him The Duncan Stopper? Yeah, probably. But he’s done a fantastic job shoving a cork in Timmy’s game. But - duh duh duh duuuuuuum - he has a bruised left foot. And it’s hard to imagine him running Duncan off the playoff road with a flat tire.
Gregg Popovich. This series has been marked by adjustments, from his Hack-a-Whoever strategy, to putting Bruce Bowen on Peja Stojakovic, to moving Manu Ginobili in the starting lineup. Pops may be a first-rate, scar-faced asshat, but he’s also a ruthlessly efficient tactician. So: Does he have any special adjustments for Game 6? And: Does he have the personnel necessary to make any more adjustments?
Peja Stojakovic. I hope Peja Stojakovic spent his day off studying Houdini, because he really needs to figure out a way to escape the straightjacket Bruce Bowen has him in. I’d suggest having him drive to the hoop, but he currently has the footspeed of a crippled sea cow.
Damon Stoudamire. Sorry, Mighty Mouse. But regardless of how this game turns out, I have a feeling your championship piggyback days are numbered.
Was it really 10 years ago that the Indianapolis Colts made the fateful decision to draft Peyton Manning over Ryan Leaf in the NFL draft? To mark the occasion, Leaf is showing off his No. 16 Colts jersey — yep, one such exists — which he found while rummaging through some personal belongings recently.
Leaf tells the tale to Sports Illustrated, via Larry Brown Sports, of What Could Have Been.
It’s ironic: I had some of my storage stuff from Montana shipped down to Texas, and I ran across — I forgot I even had it — an Indianapolis Colts jersey, number 16, with LEAF on the back, that I think they had ready for draft day. I’m thinking about auctioning it off for charity. There’s no reason for me to keep it.
Of course this would not be quite as valuable as my Chicago Bears Favre jersey. Other valuable collectibles:
It’s easy to forget that the Miami Dolphins will once again have Ricky Williams in the backfield in 2008, but he’s received Bill Parcells’ support (amazing) and is rehabbed and ready to go for next season. In an interview with the Austin American Statesman, we find out that Williams, at 31, is much more focused, in great playing shape, and ready to do what he can to salvage a football “legacy” that has been marred by weed smoking and existential wackiness.
But, thankfully, we also find out that the hippie haze of one too many pulls off the hookah still lingers.
Take, for example, Williams’ thoughts about declining an invitation to attend Cedric Benson’s notorious boat party from two weeks ago:
I think if I had come down, things might have worked out a little bit differently.I find I have a calming influence on people when I’m around.
Yes, it’s pretty clear that if Williams had attended the boat party, the atmosphere would’ve been much, much different. Instead of a bumpin’, drink guzzlin’ boat jam, it would’ve been more like a floating yoga party, with jugs of pomegranate juice being passed around and sporadic yelping sessions in an attempt to communicate with sperm whales. The cops wouldn’t be anywhere near that party.
Excuse us one more time for the self-indulgence, but we are gleeful to report that our 1986 St. Louis Cardinals Strat-O-Matic team has reached the World Series. We’re a little ashamed by how much joy this has brought us, but there it is.
Bob Forsch was the NLCS MVP, and now we face the hated Yankees — Don Mattingly finally made a World Series! — in the Series starting Saturday. The manager of the Yankees is Bill Daughtry, of ESPN Radio 1050-New York. We say screw Dale Berra. In a perfect world, this would be the second of three consecutive World Series appearances for our ‘Birds … though we’re gonna actually try to win this one. Stay away, Denkinger!
Stephon (Tracy Jordan) Marbury says that he will “dominate” this season, and that he has been training by “running in the mountains.” Tirico Suave imagines this process.
Welcome To Minor Enterprise, in which we celebrate the world of minor league baseball promotions, and occasionally help local police solve crimes. Today, a profile on the Independent American Association’s St. Paul Saints, who are blazing new trails in creative baseball promotion.
It’s pretty safe to say that Midway Stadium in St. Paul, Minn., is the only minor league ballpark in America where one can get a professional massage from a real Catholic nun. Pictured here is Sister Rosalind, who has been doling out massage therapy at St. Paul Saints games since 1993 ($8 per ten minutes. Please form an orderly line). But fans don’t bat an eye, because the spectacle of a grown man getting a massage from a nun in the mezzanine section is really nothing special here.
In fact it’s hard to imagine something that would surprise a Saints fan at this point. After all, this is the team that has a pig bring out game balls to the home plate umpire between innings, and employs Mrs. Stepford, a prim and proper 1950s-era housewife who serves as an usherette. And don’t forget Guy Tracy, a Sam Spade-style private detective who wanders the stands investigating mysteries.
But to truly get a taste of what the Saints are about, you have to take a look at their promotional calendar. Of particular note is Sunday, May 25, when St. Paul will play host to the Fort Worth Cats. That’ll be National Tap Dance Day at Midway Stadium, when 2,500 lucky fans will receive Bobblefoot dolls. In this update of the traditional bobblehead, the Saints will hand out toys in which a bobbing foot is extended below the partition of a bathroom stall, meant to commemorate the day that Sen. Larry Craig was arrested for tapping his foot at an undercover police officer in a Minneapolis airport bathroom.
“People have come to expect that kind of thing from us, so the pressure is on every season to try and top ourselves,” said Sean Aronson, the Saints’ director of promotions who also doubles as the team’s radio play-by-play broadcaster. “When a news item like the Larry Craig incident breaks, we actually have media people calling us the next day asking what we’re going to do with it.”
Indeed, among past Saints promotions have been Michael Vick Night, in which fans received a Michael Vick doggie chew toy; Love Boat Night, commemorating the Minnesota Vikings infamous love boat sex cruise on Lake Minnetonka; Randy Moss Hood Ornament Night; and Bud Selig Seat Cushion Giveaway, in which fans could sit on a picture of Selig’s face.
Such a creative approach should really be no surprise, considering that two of the men behind the team are Mike Veeck, son of legendary major league promoter Bill Veeck, and comedian Bill Murray, part-owner of the Saints. Veeck is President of the Goldklang Group, which represents marketing and promotional rights for the Charleston RiverDogs, Hudson Valley Renegades, Ft. Myers Miracle, Sioux Falls Canaries, Brockton Rox and the Saints, the latter the group’s flagship franchise. The Saints drew 297,000 fans last season; 102 percent of stadium capacity.
Aronson (pictured), a 31-year-old University of Colorado graduate, has been with the Saints for two years, after a similar stint with the Miracle. In addition to National Tap Dance Day, the upcoming home stand beginning May 22 will include Thursday’s Salute to Ramen Noodles; Friday’s appearance by Zap of the American Gladiators (sponsored by the Minnesota Asthma Coalition); and Saturday’s Tribute to famous mime Marcel Marceau.
“I have Mike Veeck’s book, Fun Is Good, on my desk, and I live that philosophy,” Aronson said. “He comes to St. Paul a couple of times a month, and he’s an inspiration. There is an atmosphere here that promotes creativity. They want us to take chances.”
Of course there have been some ideas that haven’t worked out, such as the infamous Mime Day about eight years ago.
“This was before I came to St. Paul, but we had a game in which we put mimes on the roof of the home dugout to act as instant replay, reenacting plays,” Aronson said. “But then this kid threw a hot dog and hit one of the mimes; it also happened to be Dollar Hot Dog Night. The mimes were getting pelted with hot dogs, which was good for concessions, but the team never did that again.
“You have to remember what kind of a market St. Paul is,” Aronson said. “This area has the Twins and the Timberwolves, Lynx and the Wild, plus several college teams. We’re competing with a lot, so we have to be innovative and give people something they haven’t seen.”
One of those glorious ideas will come on July 16, when the Saints stage their promotion entitled A Monkey Can Do That!
“We’re going to bring in a real monkey, who will perform several of the tasks that we usually do,” Aronson said. “The monkey will help drag the infield, take tickets, and may even sit in on the TV side of our game broadcast. It’s really one of the most basic ideas you can come up with.”
Um, sure it is …
But please, folks, do not throw hot dogs at the monkey. Thanks.
You say you like the 
Was it really 10 years ago that the Indianapolis Colts made the fateful decision to draft Peyton Manning over Ryan Leaf in the NFL draft? To mark the occasion, Leaf is showing off his No. 16 Colts jersey — yep, one such exists — which he found while rummaging through some personal belongings recently.
It’s easy to forget that the Miami Dolphins will once again have Ricky Williams in the backfield in 2008, but he’s received Bill Parcells’ support (amazing) and is rehabbed and ready to go for next season. In an interview with the Austin American Statesman, we find out that Williams, at 31, is much more focused, in great playing shape, and ready to do what he can to salvage a football “legacy” that has been marred by weed smoking and existential wackiness. 
Excuse us one more time for the self-indulgence, but we are gleeful to report that our 1986 St. Louis Cardinals Strat-O-Matic team 
Welcome To Minor Enterprise, in which we celebrate the world of minor league baseball promotions, and occasionally help local police solve crimes. Today, a profile on the Independent American Association’s St. Paul Saints, who are blazing new trails in creative baseball promotion.
