Archive for April 10th, 2008
Continue Reading April 10th, 2008
Wade Boggs, venerable hit machine and moustachioed gadabout, has always seemed to be an odd, shady guy. There was that messy affair with Margo Adams. Then he started popping up in hair plug commercials. Then he inducted WWE’s Curt Henning into the Wrestling Hall of Fame last year. His boozing on road trips was other wordly.
Now, he’s basically trolling around Tampa, willing to talk to horny ladies like the one seen above while making odd hand gestures.
But this Sunday, he’ll be back talking about baseball. On April 13, he’ll appear on Baseball Tonight as a guest analyst, part of an ongoing “Hall of Fame” series.
For some reason, Wade just doesn’t seem like he’ll be up to the task at hand; the years of torment, boozing and horn-dogging have completely zapped him of the ability to articulate anything above twiddling his fingers, answering yes or no questions or belching. (Ed. Note: We know the feeling.)
Hopefully, he’ll be wearing that shirt during the broadcast.
Baseball Tonight To Feature Hall of Fame Analysts [Awful Announcing]
(Photo courtesy of Local Hotties)
Continue Reading April 10th, 2008
We’re hardly a booster of the “hard” “drinking” Jay Cutler, but as Jake Plummer can tell you, it’s not easy being a starting quarterback in Denver. (Boy, we’re all about Colorado today, aren’t we?) Particularly when John Elway is second-guessing him all the time.
Apparently, Cutler, who is the leader of the team after all, called out wide receiver Brandon Marshall after Marshall hurt himself “horsing around” with his older brother. Cutler was annoyed by this, and said so. King Elway did not approve.
“If that’s what Jay feels like he needs to comment on, he needs to do that,” Elway said. “Personally, I would’ve done it to him. Even though I tried to settle things in the press, looking back over the years, it hasn’t been the right way to do it. … I was surprised to hear it actually,”
Aaron Rodgers is going to get to deal with this for the next four years, so that should be fun.
Elway Surprised Cutler Called Out Brandon Marshall [CBS 4 Denver]
Continue Reading April 10th, 2008
Remember when Pat Riley trademarked the phrase “Three-peat?” It’s a good thing he did, because, you know, his team couldn’t three-peat in the NBDL right now. Well, the Colorado Rockies have absorbed Riley’s lesson: They’re attempting to trademark the term “Rocktober.”
It just rolls off the tongue, doesn’t it? Shame they can’t trademark Dane Cook as well.
When the Rockies originally filed their trademark request, bar owners in LoDo, near Coors Field, expressed concern that the trademark would prohibit them from marketing “Rocktober” events and specials during baseball’s postseason run.
The Rockies request also seeks to prohibit other parties from using “Rocktober” on a long list of commercial items including foam fingers, baseballs, batting gloves and athletic supporters, commonly known as jock straps.
Oh, so that’s what an athletic supporter is!
So, you know, hurry up and sell all your Rocktober merchandise while you can … before it’s too late!
Rockies Close To “Rocktober” Trademark [9news]
Continue Reading April 10th, 2008
Since they bought the Seattle Sonics, Clay Bennett and company have claimed that they did not have the initial intention to move the team to Oklahoma City. (They even told David Stern as much.) No one has ever believed them, and now there’s proof.
Early emails have been released as a part of court papers, and they’re definitive evidence that the group always planned on shipping the team to Oklahoma City. Which is no news to anyone; it’s just nice to have proof they lied.
Email from Clay Bennett to David Stern, 8/17/07: “As absolutely remarkable as it may seem, Aubrey and I have NEVER discussed moving the Sonics to Oklahoma City, nor have I discussed it with ANY other member of our ownership group.” But, and there’s really no other way to put this, Bennett was lying. He’d talked about it at least four months earlier.
Email exchange between [Sonics owners] Tom Ward and Clay Bennett, 4/17/07: Ward: Is there any way to move here for next season or are we doomed to have another lame duck season in Seattle? Bennett: I am a man possessed! Will do everything we can. Thanks for hanging with me boys, the game is getting started!
Owners have learned their lesson from Art Modell. The way to move a franchise is not to sneak out in the middle of the night. It is to slowly demoralize and decimate the fanbase, to the point that people can’t wait for you to leave. Make yourself not be missed. We hope Oklahoma City enjoys their team, and that they don’t so much as utter a peep with this shit happens to them in 15 years.
Clay Bennett Lied To David Stern [Enjoy The Enjoyment]
Continue Reading April 10th, 2008
Cleveland Cavaliers bench player Lance Allred was raised on a polygamist compound until the age of 13, and since, you know, that’s been in the news lately, CBS “The Early Show” interviewed him about it this morning. We wouldn’t say it went well.
What’s the worst part? When he completely disregards the opening question? When he responds to a question from the host about underaged sexual abuse with “it’s not a black and white thing?” Or when she just cuts him off at the end? So many to choose from.
The Cavaliers’ Lance Allred: Not Quite Ready For Morning TV [Clevescene]
Continue Reading April 10th, 2008
We attended our first baseball game of the season last night, a sloppy, ugly, slightly comical 8-2 Mets win over the Phillies. We tried to attribute it to a cold April night, but seriously, we’re not sure the Phillies were actually wearing gloves.
A few thoughts:
• The pictures of the new Citi Field make it look like an Ebbets Field throwback, but once you’re up close, you realize it looks just like the new Busch Stadium, and Citizens Bank Park, and Camden Yards, and all other “retro” stadiums that are going up now. As we’ve mentioned before, the great irony is that we have replaced all the old cookie cutter stadiums with new cookie cutter stadiums.
• Sadly, opening day was the lone day for Rick Astley. Last night they played Bon Jovi’s “Livin’ On A Prayer,” which received a much heartier ovation. Also of note: That pro-union song was actually sponsored by The United Association of Plumbers and Pipefitters. We thought that was great.
• We’ll kind of miss Shea in a way we won’t miss Yankee Stadium. Both are antiquated, uncomfortable ballparks … but at least Shea knows it, and revels in it. And you watch people get in fights in the upper deck at Shea without worrying that one of the snipers on the roof is going to take them out.
Continue Reading April 10th, 2008
Now this is what you like to see. Albert Pujols, immersed in controversy, steaming mad and clouting homers. The Cardinals ripping up the NL Central despite preseason predictions of Epic Fail. Tony La Russa, legally sober according to state law. On Wednesday, Pujols — perhaps angered by this post — exited his slump by blasting two homers as the Cardinals beat Houston 6-4 to win their third straight series. He’s The Big Poo!
Apparently there was some sort of pregame argument between Pujols and Houston’s Brandon Backe, and that did not spell good news for the Astros. Although Pujols downplayed it. “No matter who gets me mad or doesn’t get me mad, I’m going to go out there and play the game the right way every time,'’ he said. From AP: “The exchange lasted a few minutes. It involved yelling and ended with Astros manager Cecil Cooper putting his arm across Backe and guiding him away from Pujols. It apparently was over Pujols sliding into Astros catcher J.R. Towles in the eighth inning of the Cardinals’ win over the Astros on Tuesday, an event Pujols had already apologized to Towles for.” Pujols also had a run-scoring single and Rick Ankiel had two RBI. It was Pujols’ first homers of the season. Bradon Looooooper! allowed five hits and three runs in 5 2/3 innings, striking out four. St. Louis is 7-2 in the Central, a half-game up on the second-place Brewers.
• Tigers Win! Tigers Win! Cigarettes for everyone! After scoring only 15 runs during an 0-7 start, Detroit rolled several runs off the assembly line to beat the Red Sox 7-2. Marcus Thames and Carlos Guillen homered, Edgar Renteria had three hits and Ivan Rodriguez got the 2,500th hit of his career for the Tigers, who also drew eight walks. Well, that helps.
• And Now Even The Mets Are Winning. The Mets beat the Phillies? Must be some sort of mixup. Of course, Philly was playing without Jimmy Rollins, but New York still broke a nine-game losing streak to their hated rival, winning 8-2. Eric Bruntlett and his Magic Fingers made two errors at short — he was filling in for the injured Rollins — and Phillies starter Kyle Kendrick walked six in the first two innings. The paradoxically named Angel Pagan had a two-run double for the Mets.
• Taste The Rockies. Oh Braves, your pitching is so good. Yorvit Torrealba had a three-run homer in a six-run third as the Rockies won their third straight, 12-6. Atlanta used three pitchers; two with ERAs of more than 15.00.
• Now What’s Going On Here? Hard to imagine any kid taking a hard line on trading his Zack Greinke baseball cards, but that’s the way it could be shaping up. It’s Greinke Fever! He threw eight scoreless innings to lead the Royals to a 4-0 win over the Yankees, improving to 2-0 with an 0.60 ERA. KC (6-2) leads the Central Division. Baltimore (AL East) and Florida (NL East) are also in first, in case you are asked.
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