We find it difficult to work ourselves up about this Roger Clemens Congress business. We think it’s because the purpose of this has all been so lost. Remember, these Congressional “trials” were meant to get to the bottom of this steroid mess, find out how we got here, for the kids! But that’s not what this is about. Roger Clemens is being brought before Congress to be called a liar and made a fool out of. That’s all.
Not that we have a major problem with this; it’s Roger Clemens, after all. But we’re not sure the public good is served by dragging out a big name every few years and making him sweat under the harsh interrogation of Orrin Hatch. Clemens is going to say he’s innocent, Brian McNamee is going to say he’s guilty and hopefully someone will crush a beer can against their head. Everyone’s talking about this as if it’s some sort of showdown. It isn’t. It’s just the only time in your life that you’ll watch CSPAN. And then only for a few minutes.
One thing is clear, though: We will, without question, miss Rusty Hardin. He’s the yokel Johnnie Cochran, that guy.
True story: Way back in 1998, when we were a wee lad logging agate text at The Sporting News, one of the magazine staffers sent a company-wide email after Jim Gray’s famous Pete Rose interview demanding that all writers sign a petition saying that Gray should be fired. We found this a bit extreme, and said so, in a “reply all” message that went to the whole company. We were 22 years old. We didn’t understand office politics too well. We still don’t.
Anyway, do you like the Jim Gray? Do you not like the Jim Gray? Let us know.
By the way, there is not a second vote for his hair, or a debate about who would win in a fight between Gray and Mitch Albom.
In case you have forgotten, in 2005, according to Wikipedia, here’s where Latrell Sprewell stood, contract-wise.
One month into the 2005-06 season and without a contract, Sprewell’s agent, Bob Gist, said his client would rather retire than play for the NBA minimum salary, telling Sports Illustrated, “Latrell doesn’t need the money that badly. To go from being offered $7 million to taking $1 million, that would be a slap in the face.” Several days later, Gist said that Sprewell planned to wait until “teams get desperate” around the trade deadline in February, and then sign with a contending team (an eventuality that never materialized). Gist said that Sprewell would not be interested in signing for any team’s $5 million mid-level exception, calling that amount “a level beneath which [Sprewell] would not stoop or kneel!”>/blockquote>
Former NBA star Latrell Sprewell’s home is up for foreclosure and his yacht sold at auction to help pay off the $1.3 million he owes on the boat, according to court filings. RBS Citizens NA, or Citizens Bank, filed a foreclosure suit last week in Milwaukee County for the $405,000 home Sprewell bought in the Milwaukee suburb of River Hills in 1994. In court documents, the bank said Sprewell owed $295,138 in outstanding payments plus interest.
You know, it happens. These families (and boats … and lawsuits … and parties) aren’t going to pay for themselves.
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who generally shows up to work about 15 minutes late (he uses the side door so his boss doesn’t see him). After that, he just sort of spaces out for an hour. Yeah, he just stares at his desk, but it looks like he’s working. He does that for probably another hour after lunch too. In a given week, he probably only does about 15 minutes of real, actual work…and that’s on Basketbawful. Enjoy!
• He even turns in his TPS reports on time. Manu Ginobili did everything for the Spurs in last night’s 93-88 win over the Raptors. Literally everything. He scored a season-high 34 points. He grabbed a career-high 15 rebounds. He dished 6 assists. He handed out Gatorade during timeouts. He gave Tim Duncan a foot rub at halftime (no happy ending, though). He referred Gregg Popovich to a really good dermatologist. He even advanced his paladin to level 60 in World of Warcraft. “He can do everything,” Toronto’s Carlos Delfino said. “He can split atoms, turn pure evil into delicious buttermilk pancakes…did you know he actually traveled back in time to help me pass Geometry? True story.” Duncan added 22 points and 13 rebounds, but only because Manu let him. The mighty dinos got a career-high 27 points out of Jose Calderon and 12 out of Andrea Bargnani. New player watch: Damon Stoudemire had 2 points (1-for-5), 4 rebounds and zero assists.
• So that means that every single day that you see me, that’s the worst day of my life. And that certainly describes the last two days of the Mavs’ collective life. One night after getting blasted by the Nets (22-29), the Mavericks scored 23 points in the second half - and only 10 in the fourth quarter! - and lost 84-76 to the Sixers (22-30). To summarize: That’s two consecutive embarrassing losses to sub-.500 Eastern Conference teams. Yeah, we’re gonna need to go ahead and move the Mavs downstairs to storage B, mmmkay? Andre Miller, your reigning Eastern Conference Player of the Week, was Philly’s player of the night with 21 points, 8 rebounds, and 7 assists. Meanwhile, Dallas got 17 points from Josh Howard (before leaving in fourth quarter with a back injury), 15 from Dirk Diggler (who was also in and out of the game with a sore back), and DNP-CDs from Jerry Stackhouse (hamstring) and Erick Dampier (sucks). Devin Harris also missed his eigth straight game (bruised left ankle).
• If things go well, he might be showing us his O-face. Oh. Oh. Wow. Larry Hughes totally bukaked all over the Orlando Magic, scoring a season-high 40 points on 12-for-19 shooting in the Cleveland’s 118-111 win. Yes, that Larry Hughes. Lebron James, having recovered from the previous day’s temper tantrum, made his own kingly contribution with 29 points and 10 assists. Hedo “The Turkish Assassin” Turkoglu put in 25 points for the Magic, and Dwight Howard had 16 and 9, but spent most of the night totally spaced out on defense and on the boards. Hey, he’s young, and he’s looking ahead to the All-Star Game. Admit it, you are too.
• Oh, and next Friday is Hawaiian shirt day. So, you know, if you want to you can go ahead and wear a Hawaiian shirt and jeans. The Lakers lived a casual Friday last night, beating the Bobcats 106-97 behind The Black Mamba’s 31 points. Raymond Felton scored 29 and Nazr Mohammed added 22 for the ‘Cats, who - at 18-34 - are miraculously only four and a half games out of the Eastern Conference’s final playoff spot. New player watch: Pau Gasol had 26 points, 6 rebounds and 6 assists.
• Sounds like someone has a case of the Mondays. After dropping a 96-89 stinkbomb to the Clippers, the Bucks fell to 0-6 on Mondays this season. Look boys, nobody wants to work on Monday, but let’s try to be professionals, huh? Meanwhile, the Clippers finished a successful - for them anyway - 3-4 road trip behind Al Thorton’s 25 points and Sam Cassell’s 21 points and 8 assists. Mo Williams had 31 pieces of flair - that’s 16 more than the minimum! - but that couldn’t prevent a third straight loss for the Bucks who are, as it turns out, also 0-8 on Fridays.
• I’ll tell you what I’d do, man. Two chicks at the same time. I mean, as long as everything else is going their way, you know? After a 95-93 smackdown of the Trailblazers, the Rockets have won seven straight games - their longest streak in three years - and 11 of their last 12, and 16 of 20. The Great Wall of Yao put up 25 points and 7 rebounds, Rafer Alston had 17 points and 7 assists, and Tracy McGrady added 12 points. LeMarcus Aldridge led the losers with 22 points, Joel Przybilla had 9 rebounds, and Brandon Roy - who missed the last two games because of a death in the family - returned to score 15 and dish 8 assists.
• I could set the building on fire. And that’s exactly what Stephen Jackson did at Oracle Arena, netting 41 points, hitting the go-ahead three-pointer, and scoring 10 of the Warriors’ 12 straight points in the closing minutes of their 120-117 firefight with the Wizards. I guess that’ll teach them to take his stapler. Baron Davis added 19 points, 7 rebounds and 7 assists to help the Golden Staters overcome a 17-point halftime deficit. Roger Mason (who??) scored a career-high 32 points and Antawn Jamison tossed in 25 for the Wiz, who have lost eight straight and are still without Gilbert Arenas, Caron Butler, and Antonio Daniels. New player watch: Chris Webber sucked.
It will come as a shock, a shock, we tell you, to learn that our friend John Rocker was on steroids. Throughout this book tour, we’ve been impersonating Rocker at every stop, and we need steroids just to get into character.
Fortunately, Rocker is being the lovable galoot that he is, confessing to steroid use in the third person.
He also said that “Bud Selig is a clown and should do the entire world a favor and kill himself.” Rocker, no stranger to controversy, made those comments on Atlanta radio station Rock 100.5.
Later Monday, he told Atlanta sports talk radio station 680 The Fan that “between 40 to 50 percent of baseball players are on steroids” and “in 2000 Bud Selig knew John Rocker was taking the juice.”
It’s sad, really, to see a guy we very much enjoy reduced to following the irrefutably foolproof career path paved by Jose Canseco. Sheesh, he’s even dressing like the guy.
John, call us: We know some people. And by “people,” we mean, well, we pretty much just know you. But not Biblically.
Those hoping to get their NFL gaming fix from anywhere other than EA anytime soon are apparently in for a long wait: EA revealed today that it had extended its exclusive contract with the organization until the end of the 2012 season, which falls in February of 2013. A similar deal was also made with the NFL players association.
If you had been anxiously praying for the return of NFL2K, we’d be willing to bet that’s never going to happen, as by 2013, we’re fairly sure football will be played on the moon with jet packs, and our Earth laws will no longer apply. But take heart, Peter Moore says that EA won’t be marking the 2008 20th anniversary of the game with just any Madden year. No, it’s going to be above and beyond. Wait … you mean you’re rewarding our $60 with genuine effort put into the product? Just for us? Oh, Pete, you shouldn’t have.
Camelot’s upcoming Wii golf title We Love Golf will feature Capcom-flavored alternate costumes for its male and female golfers, allowing players to tee off as Chun Li, Apollo Justice, Jill Valentine, or Arthur from Ghouls ‘n Ghosts. The fun doesn’t stop there, however, as Capcom is allowing fans to vote on the final two Capcom characters to be included in the North American and European versions of the game.
The male options are Frank West (Dead Rising), Balrog (Street Fighter), Guy (Final Fight), Ken (Street Fighter), Dhalsim (Street Fighter), and Captain Commando (former Capcom mascot and protagonist of the arcade game of the same name). At the moment, Ken and Morrigan are both leading their respective polls. Of course, we wonder why Capcom can’t simply include all the characters in the game, but we’ll take what we can get.
We find it difficult to work ourselves up about this Roger Clemens Congress business. We think it’s because the purpose of this has all been so lost. Remember, these Congressional “trials” were meant to get to the bottom of this steroid mess, find out how we got here, for the kids! But that’s not what this is about. Roger Clemens is being brought before Congress to be called a liar and made a fool out of. That’s all.
True story: Way back in 1998, when we were a wee lad logging agate text at The Sporting News, one of the magazine staffers sent a company-wide email after Jim Gray’s famous 
In case you have forgotten, in 2005, according to Wikipedia, here’s 
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who generally shows up to work about 15 minutes late (he uses the side door so his boss doesn’t see him). After that, he just sort of spaces out for an hour. Yeah, he just stares at his desk, but it looks like he’s working. He does that for probably another hour after lunch too. In a given week, he probably only does about 15 minutes of real, actual work…and that’s on 
It will come as a shock, a shock, we tell you, to learn that our friend 
