As you read this, we will be on a plane to beautiful Phoenix, Arizona. It has been freezing in New York City, and fortunately, we can have the sweet release of gorgeous desert weather … wait … is that rain?
One of the quiet pleasures of Super Bowl Week is the wide variety of betting opportunities this game provides. Most of them are simple guesswork, but hey, isn’t that what gambling is anyway?
You know the basic ones: Who will win the coin toss, how long the national anthem will last, will everyone on the Fox pregame pick the Patriots, so on. (That last one is easy money: No.) But there are some truly wacky ones, including our favorite.
Colour of liquid winning Head Coach is doused in (BetUS)
Transparent +400
Green +500
Yellow +300
Orange +125
Red +300
Blue +1000
Purple +1600
Will you really be able to tell if it goes on Belichick? Oh, and by the way … what’s up with the herpes?
The question is broken down Dr. Jack-style, and takes in all possible variables.
Nearly every major party will take place in Scottsdale, many of them right near the Patriots’ hotel. Nearby Barcelona will be hosting several major parties, including the NFL Players Association Party and the Sports Illustrated Party. Other major parties in Scottsdale include the Maxim Party, Terrell Owens’ bash, the Bud Bowl, several block parties, the Leather & Laces Party (with Carmen Electra and Catherine Bell), the Saturday Night Spectacular (featuring John Travolta & REO Speedwagon!), the ESPN the Magazine Party, the Penthouse Party and the Deadspin Super Bowl Party. Okay, maybe the Deadspin Super Bowl Party isn’t a major party, but it’s the only one I have a chance in hell of attending, so it makes the cut. P. Diddy and Snoop Dogg are providing the entertainment at all of the above parties. The only exception is the performance by Doug Flutie and the Flutie Brothers Band at Mickey’s Hangover. Diddy will really be scraping the bottom of the barrel if he has to sample the Flutie Brothers Band.
We have zero doubt that Wes Welker is going to be arrested doing something untoward at the Saturday Night Spectacular with John Travolta and REO Speedwagon. There’s your winner.
The suspect: Buddy, the black labrador. Crime: Chewing Super Bowl tickets. Last seen: Licking own privates. Other possible suspects: Rabid squirrel … parakeet … Roomba. Trial date: pending.
Buddy, a 3-year-old Labrador retriever opted for high-end snacks — two Super Bowl XLII tickets. Face value: $900 each. The mishap occurred Wednesday when Chris Gallagher requested that a courier leave the anticipated package under the doormat of his Avondale home. The courier instead slipped the envelope under the front door. Buddy accepted delivery. He didn’t sign, but he licked, mauled, chewed and swallowed portions of the coveted tickets.
“Buddy, you’re nothing to me now. You’re not my dog, you’re not a friend. I don’t want to know you or what you do. I don’t want to see you at the park, I don’t want you near my house. When you see the cat, I want to know a day in advance, so I won’t be there. You understand?”
The NFL announced yesterday that next year’s Wembley Stadium in London game will be between the New Orleans Saints and the San Diego Chargers. This makes sense — perhaps we’ll get a Reggie Bush giant robot — but we don’t quite understand: Why are the Saints the home team?
No offense to the Chargers, but couldn’t New Orleans use those home games a little bit more than San Diego? Particularly just a couple years after the Saints practically played every game on the road anyway? One Saints fan puts it a little stronger.
Now, you are taking a home game away from the Superdome, the Shrine, the Sacredome, the fans who gave you the loudest game in NFL history? Way to build that goodwill, fuckers.
It does seem like a strange decision, doesn’t it? Having the Buzzsaw be the host for a Mexico City game makes sense, but New Orleans the home team in London? Hmm.
It has only been two years, but still, a lot of people don’t remember the maestro that was former Nugget and Hornet Chris Anderson. He’s perhaps most famous for his performance in the slam dunk contest — Bill Simmons wrote, “Looking back, I think the best part was that he started off the contest by telling the sideline reporter, ‘It’s time for the Birdman to fly.’ Could somebody find me a time machine so I could travel back to the ’80s and make that my high school yearbook quote?” — and, of course, that hair. And then he got kicked out of the league for two years for using what was reported to be cocaine. His suspension run out Sunday.
We would love to see big Chris Anderson back, desperately, now that you mention it. He was always ridiculously fun to watch, even though it’s certainly possible that he was using cocaine while on the court. (We’ll know that was the case if he returns and appears to have mono.) We’d have to think the Knicks could take a chance on him, yes? Why not?
So, friends, it begins. After the endless, man, are they having ANY sports this week? of the past seven days, it’s time for Super Bowl XLII exhaustion. You can’t say that ESPN doesn’t have you covered. Heavens.
In case you’ve forgotten the run of endless memes, here are the storylines that will be beaten into your skull for the next six days. Because we’re heading to Glendale — in about seven hours! — under the rubric of The Sporting News, someone sent us the official media guide for Super Bowl XLII. It’s so cute. Reporters are advised, if there are in need of “story ideas,” to visit Scottsdale Sparkles, a glimpse of all Scottsdale has to offer, including “art galleries,” “fine jewelers” and “celebrities.” On it!
One of the quiet pleasures of Super Bowl Week is the wide variety of betting opportunities this game provides. Most of them are simple guesswork, but hey, isn’t that what gambling is anyway?
So this is the kind of Super Bowl XLII analysis we can get behind: FanIQ asks 
The suspect: Buddy, the black labrador. Crime: 
The NFL announced yesterday that next year’s Wembley Stadium in London game will be between the 
It has only been two years, but still, a lot of people don’t remember the maestro that was former Nugget and Hornet Chris Anderson. He’s perhaps most famous for his performance in the slam dunk contest — Bill Simmons wrote, “Looking back, I think the best part was that he started off the contest by telling the sideline reporter, ‘It’s time for the Birdman to fly.’ Could somebody find me a time machine so I could travel back to the ’80s and make that my high school yearbook quote?” — and, of course, that hair. And then he got kicked out of the league for two years for using what was reported to be cocaine. 
So, friends, it begins. After the endless, man, are they having ANY sports this week? of the past seven days, it’s time for Super Bowl XLII exhaustion. You can’t say that 