Archive for January 13th, 2008
Continue Reading January 13th, 2008
If New York wins this game, they’re going to have to play in Green Bay, so Gibril Wilson seems game in case they have to play another Ice Bowl in Wisconsin. But the game’s only 14-14 at halftime, and we are also 4-for-4 in evenly-matched first halves this weekend. Follow along after the jump to see if we have our second straight competitive second half or if Dallas starts pulling away with the lead.
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Third Quarter
5:18 — DeMarcus Ware has something in his teeth. Better jar it loose, because it has to call the next play for the Giants.
6:57 — Ah, there’s that “lack of execution on third down” that all the kids are talking about these days. Nick Folk caps the drive’s diminuendo with three points.
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8:31 — Did … did Tony Romo just knock down his own offensive lineman to get to the first down? By any means necessary, I guess. He reached first down by making one final leap over his mother.
10:01 — Hey, Dallas, wanna fail at a third down conversion sometime? No? All right, carry on.
13:03 — The Fox cameras aim right into Jerry Jones’ suite. You can almost see the lightning bolts propped up against his wall in case he needs to smite down any players who blow the game.
Continue Reading January 13th, 2008
Well, it’s going to be hard to top the excitement on that Chargers upset, but there’s only one way to find out: guesstimation. No it won’t! It won’t be as thrilling! But hopefully it’s fun enough to sit through another live blog, because that’s what’s gonna happen.
I don’t know if Terrell Owens and Doug Free are prepared to handle the Giants defense, but they do look they perfected The Worm. Somewhere, Johnnie Morton is smiling.
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11:50 — Amani Toomer just caught and ran 52 yards for the touchdown. A fine start for N’yawk.
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12:20 — They measure for the first down, and the Giants have it. Now, it’s not cold in Dallas, yet Tom Coughlin’s cheeks remain red. Until proven otherwise, I’ll assume Coughlin uses rouge.
13:25 — Eli Manning’s first pass of the game, and he throws it to … a large vacant area. Large Vacant Area now has one catch for 23 yards.
Pregame Babble
We won’t have our Manning Bowl. But a 2004 NFL Draft Blockbuster Trade bowl is still within reach. Unfortunately it doesn’t have the same ring as Manning Bowl. But Peyton Manning can dedicate the extra time to practice his Oreo consumption, so that by next year… wait, this is about the Giants and Cowboys, isn’t it?
I have no idea what to make of this game. My brain could simply be fried from the entire weekend, but I don’t think anybody knows if Tony Romo can shake off the demons from last year, or if Eli Manning can recreate the performance from last year.
The FOX NFL studio foursome, they all pick Dallas. Wow, these are some creative predictions here. Frank Caliendo as President Bush also picks Dallas. Could we pass legislation to limit Caliendo spurts on TV to no more than 60 seconds? Whichever candidate does that this year has my vote. Please earmark a ban on calling them “the New York Football Giants.” No need to discern anymore, it’s no longer 1882.
All right. On Friday I actually said the Giants will somehow manage the upset. I don’t want to go back on that, because already had our shocker for the afternoon, but I’m a man of my word, so Giants by 5.
Continue Reading January 13th, 2008
Okay. “Interesting second half. Interesting second half.” Just keep saying that mantra for as long as you can, and maybe it’ll happen. Men, women, children, follow us to freedom after the jump for more of my livebloggery.
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6:14 — Bob Sanders isn’t getting up. That’s a synchronous “rut roh” across Colts fans.
7:10 — Well, shucks. Manning’s pass gets racketed around by various hands and lands in the arms of a Chargers defender at the 2-yard line.
7:50 — The Colts move all the way down to inside the 10-yard line. Although I guess physically inside the line would require one to be of microscopic height.
11:23 — Chris Chambers didn’t have to make a spectacular catch. Rivers put that ball exactly where it needed to be. Now San Diego has the lead, and my full interest.
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Continue Reading January 13th, 2008
Stan Humphries is in your face right now. He was quarterback of the Chargers the last time they made the AFC Championship game, back in 1994. If these Chargers can replicate their performance against the Colts earlier this year, they’ll accomplish just that. Of course I am talking merely about San Diego but only because everybody else is ignoring Indianapolis, or something, while simultaneously saying they’re going to win this game easily. Ooh-kay. The live blog happens now, after the jump.
(Photo from Viewimages.)
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Second Quarter
0:03 — What we just had here was the play of the game. Manning’s throw was deflected and intercepted by Antonino Cromartie. Even though a holding play negated the touchdown, he ran 89 yards into the end zone. If nothing else, it was amusing to see if Peyton Manning would be able to overcome two Chargers blockers and take down Cromartie. Rivers kneels and it’s sandwich time.
0:36 — Indianapolis aims to get within field goal range, and they appear to be doing that with little resistance.
1:46 — Nate Kaeding rattles the crossbar, unfortunately field goals only count if they go between the two yellow posts. Bob Sanders practically hops on Kaeding’s back after that play, visually expressing his pleasure in Kaeding’s humiliation, which I’m pretty sure you can’t do. Sure enough, Sanders gets a taunting penalty. The field goal miss still counts, and the Colts just get backed up 10-ish yards.
1:50 — Now Rivers is on a roll. Two straight incompletions.
1:56 — Rivers’ first true incompletion. Vegas sportsbooks had that line all wrong.
3:38 — Rivers makes his eighth completion, this one to Vincent Jackson, who has half of them. He’s 8-for-9, with that lone bad pass being an interception. Technically, every one of his passes have been caught.
5:14 — I was going to whisper Vinatieri’s name, but he’s just getting a field goal, so I’ll have to think of something quieter than a whisper. How about closed captioning?
++++VINATERRY KICKS A FIELDGOAL, COLTS TAKE THE LAED++++++
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5:59 — Manning’s pass was almost stolen by Shawne Merriman, but the ball rattled off his abdominal abscesses.
6:05 — There’s a shot of Colts offensive coordinator Tom Moore. I’m sorry, but Tom Moore doesn’t look like a football guy. He has the casual gumption of a baseball manager.
8:44 — <whisper> …jackson… </whisper>
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9:12 — Tomlinson learned the hard way that trying to spike Robert Mathis’s head with the football will usually result in a fumble. Fortunately, the Chargers recovered when a lineman was standing in the end zone with the football, away from the pile. It’s almost as if the refs were ignoring him, digging for any evidence that dictated he didn’t have the football. They did find a bottle cap and an empty cigar box, however.
9:41 — The crowd noise has officially drained the San Diego reservoir of timeouts. They now have to conserve all remaining time by boiling it.
12:09 — After a delay of game, it almost happened again, but Rivers somehow scrambled throughout the pocket and threw a bad ball to convert a long first down. Zuh? Oh, then he followed that pass play with another pass play to Antonio Gates.
First Quarter
0:00 — Wait, that was the first quarter? Is it Monday? Oh, crap, I’m late for work.
0:54 — Now Harrison touches the ball. But… ooh, not for long. After the catch, Harrison drops it, and San Diego fans feel a sense of hope and optimism. And that’s when they realized now Rivers will handle the football.
3:08 — Marvin Harrison hasn’t touched the ball yet, but Manning’s already 9-for-9 in passing. Just like Tom Brady!
6:24 — I should type faster. Rivers throws to a guy in a blue jersey named Kelvin Hayden. Norval Turner wants a review, because the ball might’ve been moving around between his hands and torso. The ref, after review, disagrees and confirms that Philip Rivers just killed their opening drive and ruined Christmas.
6:35 — San Diego, too, advances the ball succesfully past midfield. Rivers looked un-Riversly on a big pass to Vincent Jackson, then a nice screen pass to Tomlinson.
I totally didn’t expect a new Peyton Manning commercial during the Colts game. But in all seriousness, I didn’t expect Eli Manning to be in it as well. Licking Oreos for sport seems more like a Cooper Manning thing.
9:13 — <whisper> …clark… </whisper>
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10:28 — Colts convert a 4th and 2 on a little slant route to Reggie Wayne. Dan Dierdorf reminds us that Manning is 5-for-5 to start the game,
just like Brady was! I know! I remember!
12:11 — After moving the ball well past midfield, Manning gets shoestring sacked by Shawne Merriman, and is it? Yes, it’s that frilly little dance.
Pregame Babble
Absolutely nobody on TV appears to be picking San Diego to win. Nor are they thinking it’s going to be close. That’s what I was afraid of. I was kind of hoping for one of those “interesting games,” you know, the ones where the announcers during fourth quarter are talking about the fourth quarter and not about what the losing team has to do next year to return to the playoffs.
That’s not to say I’m calling a San Diego upset. In fact, I don’t think I’m going to call any upsets for the rest of the playoffs. I’ll take the Colts by 8.
Continue Reading January 13th, 2008
Know how supermodels stay thin? By being called fat at 110 pounds. It’s the only way they’ll learn. Judge them. Cut them down. You really want a thin slice of carrot cake? Because that dress you love doesn’t come in fat cow size.
The Celtics, likewise, are being judged against other regional supermodels, the Red Sox and Patriots. They’re plastered all over the sidebar of the Boston Globe’s game recap of the Celtics’ road loss to the Washington Wizards. For shame. I guess the Patriots and Red Sox can go to Milan to help unveil that new clothing line. But with a 30-5 record, Boston Celtics, I suppose we can find a spot for you in the L.L. Bean catalog.
Collect Call For Dwight Wehadababyitsaboy. Dwight Howard is apparently a dad now after tapping this. Because it’s uncouth to dunk a baby, he chooses to keep his personal and professional life separate. Which is why I guess his baby momma, originally an Orlando Magic dancer, defected to Miami. Howard showed no signs of new dad fatigue against the Utah Jazz, but the rest of his team was unable to keep up with in a 119-115 loss in Salt Lake.
Jerry Stackhouse Hates Overtime. I never, never never understood why a team down two points with seconds remaining doesn’t always go for the easy 2-point basket. Three pointers are unnecessary. It’s this kind of logic that keeps me writing about sports on the Internet and now out there actually playing the sports. Well, that and the lack of coordination, talent, mobility… let’s move on. Jerry Stackhouse sank a three-pointer at the buzzer avoiding embarrassment in Los Angeles as the Mavericks escaped from the Clippers 95-94.
