Archive for October 26th, 2007
Continue Reading October 26th, 2007
Sure the Red Sox have a bit of momentum going, and it looks like they’re going to cruise to their second World Series title. That’s because Colorado Rockies fans are relatively new at this. They don’t understand that, when things aren’t going your way, it’s never too early to call in a bomb threat.
A die-hard San Francisco Giants fan who desperately wanted his team to beat the Atlanta Braves has pleaded guilty to calling the Atlanta ballpark where the two teams played and making false bomb threats. Dante Suguitan’s lawyers said in court papers that the Bay Area resident has a psychiatric disorder that manifested itself in an “obsessive interest in professional sports, particularly the San Francisco Giants baseball team.”
Of course, having an “obsessive interest in professional sports” in and of itself does not make one crazy (one hopes). It’s just when you add “particularly the San Francisco Giants baseball team” that the giant butterfly nets need to come out.
Suguitan said that the bomb was set to blow up the stadium “when the crowd began doing the tomahawk chop.” And truthfully, who hasn’t fantasized about that?
Giants Fan Guilty Of False Bomb Threats At Atlanta Ballpark [SF Gate]
Continue Reading October 26th, 2007
We’re dangerously close to the start of the NBA season, with all its drama and months of madness. To us, part of the beauty of the NBA is that its focus, while ultimately on the team, falls on the individual. The plight of one player becomes an epic tale in the shadow of Jordan; who is the real alpha dog? It’s this source of expression and personal comedy/tragedy that makes the game so compelling. There’s nowhere to hide out there.
No site captures this feel more than the great Free Darko, which we read like a doctor’s chart every day during the NBA season. They understand the dichotomy between individual achievement and collective glory, and how those are not mutually exclusive. And they’ve got a way with letters too. Right now, they’re actually doing a writeup on every single NBA player.
Therefore, we’ve asked them to look at the arcs of certain players going into this season, what 2007-08 means to them, their teams and their legacies. They’ll be previewing a player a day, up to tipoff next Tuesday.
Today: Andre Iguodala. Your author is Billups. His words are after the jump.
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You think when Bob Horry is sitting in his rec room watching his own highlight reel in his underwear with a clothespin clamped to his nipple …do you think he feels a sense of completion and peace that Charles Barkley lacks? That Patrick Ewing can’t fathom?
Nobody’s called me Sauron since about 3 a.m. this morning, but I can say this with about as much confidence as the next hobo: NBA championship rings are not forged in Middle Earth. They do not grant special powers. Robert Horry’s memories of bodying the Pacers in 2003 are no more palpable than your recollections of making out with some girl named Jenny in 2003. In fact, depending on the amount of Northern Lights Bob smokes, you might be more in touch with your past than he is!
Be that as it may, Horry is probably the envy of his peers. He’s got what all card-carrying members of the Players Association long for: Time and time again, after years of racking up personal accolades, players decide that the light at the end of the tunnel is either the shining glory of a championship or an Acela express headed to Dr Phil’s or John Lucas’ rehab spot.
Basketball is fucking stupid because the season is too long to drum up any ANY GIVEN SUNDAY/TWO SKYNET ROBOTS GO AT IT/DRINK PEPSI/GOD THAT GUY SOUNDS JUST LIKE JOHN MADDEN excitement like the NFL does; and it’s too short to give boners to cats like Roger Angell who like thinking about the way grass smells.
But every year–whether it’s Gary Payton, Scottie Pippen, Karl Malone–players go running to Dallas or LA or Miami in search of jewelry the way Bubbles hit Hamsterdam looking for that WMD. And why? So Jim Gray could ask them what was going through their mind? So they could say they took a giant crap on their opponent?
Not to get all Philip K. Mindblower here, but winning is more or less an Institutional State Apparatus (I went to college) … I think (I didn’t finish), promoted as the pot ‘o gold at the end of the journey where you take ‘em one game at a time because it’s easy to get up in the morning and look at the box score and see the Celtics won or lost and decide whether or not you’re happy or not with being a human. Fuck that.
This year, I’m giving up on giving a shit about winning. And Andre Iguodala is going to get me straight.
Philly already lives and dies with the fortunes of the Eagles. When the Birds win, it’s like the bongo rave orgy in The Matrix. And when they lose it’s like a living breathing Flemish painting complete with domestic violence, rivers of Yuengling and the imposition of mob rule where bands of men in throwbacks scavenge the roads for gasoline and the masses pray to an unseen pagan idol named Howard Eskin.
So under the cover of apathy the Sixers are free to find the meaning in between W and L; and AI vers. 2.0 is the Shackleton of that gray area.
Iguodala is like a YouTube clip that eats and plays Wii. Will he be a folk hero like Iverson? Fuck no. But he will be Richard Jefferson if Richard Jefferson didn’t always look like he just listened to the first Sunny Day Real Estate record. Which means he could be a second tier Joe Johnson. Which is really all I want from a player.
On both sides of the ball the action starts in the overture; you can see the storm clouds gathering with Andre; you can hear the opening theme of The Untouchables playing. And when he gets the pill he switches to thermal and goes hunting.
He is dazzling on the break; keeps his cool when shit gets deeper; can play four positions as well as anyone on the team. He’s basically a worse version of LeBron without the Sprite commercials.
Dig it: The end is not the end, people. 82-0? 41-41? Two inches or a yard, rock hard or if it’s sagging: sit back in the Billy Beane-bag and get hip to this fact: In this here city game , the poetry is scribbled in the margins. You should check for Iguodala because even if he isn’t the number one pick to sell bubble gum or property in Arkansas, he’s pretty much the best reason to get the NBA Season Pass. Love the game. Don’t worry about the rings.
Continue Reading October 26th, 2007
As we might have mentioned, the New York Giants are playing the Miami Dolphins in London on Sunday. There. You now have a tiny reason to care about that game. Roger Director, author of I Dream In Blue, has a few more than that. He riffs for us here about Jeremy Shockey, London and what it means to see the NFL on the wrong side of the pond.
Last year the British government decided J.M.W. Turner’s watercolor, “The Blue Rigi,” was too valuable a possession to be let out of the country and sent to the U.S., so forgive one American for getting a little worked up over allowing them to see one of our national masterpieces, Jeremy Shockey!
On Sunday, the New York Giants’ tight end, along with his teammates, is playing the first regular season NFL game outside North America, at London’s Wembley Stadium, against the Miami Dolphins. I have no problem with the general concept; teams should be free to cross international boundaries the same way great art is. Trade, commerce, ideas - fine. Let the rest of Big Blue and The Fish tangle, but we’ve made an incalculable blunder by letting Shockey go.
National treasures should not leave our safekeeping. Shockey! (I always inscribe the name this way because the man is a living, breathing football-playing exclamation; besides, pity the puny period that tries to stop him) should not be exported, even if for only a few days, because it diminishes this country, and puts our identity at risk. It chisels off a piece of our bedrock and blithely puts it in the hands of foreigners who couldn’t conclude its net worth even if Sherlock Holmes was on the case.
Do you sleep more soundly knowing Shockey! is here or seeing him displayed on foreign soil standing next to a Beefeater? The answer’s simple.
Shockey! is everything America has got going for it.
Shockey! exhibits an insane disregard for his well-being. And so does America.
Shockey! punishes evildoers (in a game his rookie year of 2002, Philadelphia defender Bryan Dawkins broke the Giants’ Ike Hilliard’s collarbone with a cheap hit. Later in the year, fighting for a playoff spot in the season’s last regular-season game, Shockey! caught a crucial touchdown pass in the end zone, came down on top of Dawkins, pasted the football on his opponent’s facemask and declared, “That’s for Ike.”). Well that’s just like America. Saddam Hussein took a cheap shot at Kuwait, and we wound up shoving the pigskin in his face, didn’t we?
Shockey! sometimes gets carried away and does stupid things. And so does America.
Shockey! likes to party. So does America.
Shockey! has a tattoo. And, look around, so does America.
It took the mere prospect of an agreement to let the United Arab Emirates oversee security operations at our ports for Congress and the rest of us to huff and puff up a hurricane of outrage about how we were compromising our country’s strength. And yet, as regards shipping out Shockey! not a peep from the government. Not a word from any of the Presidential candidates. Bill O’Reilly falls silent. Wolf Blitzer spits the bit.
Yeah, I know our borders aren’t secure, we’re waging a global war against terrorism and California is burning, but where is the Department of Homeland Security when we really need it?
Continue Reading October 26th, 2007
What they’re saying blogwise about Game 2 of the World Series, a 2-1 win by Boston over Colorado …
• I Hate Life. That is all. If these media morons are right, I will flip a wig. I hate it when World Series losses coincide with all the rest of my down feelings. I feel like total shit right now, basically. [Sparks Of Dementia
• That’s It I’m Moving To Canada. Via reader WC from Canada comes the most depressing news of the day. They have a better Health Care system than us, and now they’ve rid themselves of Joe Buck. Seriously…..The International feed uses ESPN’s Dave O’Brien and Rick Sutcliffe. I would take them over Tim and Joe in a heartbeat. Plus there’s the added bonus that Rick Sutcliffe could do the broadcast hammered. Dammit Canada! As if you couldn’t hate those Canucks even more. They’ve bested us once again. [Awful Announcing]
• Rox Fall 2-1 As Bats Continue To Slumber. The return home should be just what the doctor ordered for the bats. The Rockies hitters really are better than this. If they don’t start showing it, it won’t matter how deep Rockies starters go, or how well the bullpen pitches (Matt Herges and Brian Fuentes were splendid tonight). This series rests on the shoulders of Colorado’s big boppers, and aside from Holliday’s 4-for-4, they went AWOL tonight. [Up In The Rockies]
• I’m So Full Of Love Right Now. … I even kinda like Tim McCarver. [Away Team]
• World Series Game 2. To all Rockies fans, please watch the denigrating names, calling opposing pitchers d—–bags or similar things will get your comments deleted. Second, to all lurking Red Sox fans, be careful to respect this site as a Rockies fan gathering place, and leave your cheering for the Sox on other sites. My fuse is much shorter tonight. Thank you. Go Rockies! [Purple Row]
• The Real World Series Breakdown. 6. Beer. In the Boston area, you have Sam Adams. Nuff said. What’s out in Denver? Coors? Do you know how Coors is made? I have a good guess. When people recycle their old Sam Adams bottles, the bottles are taken to a special processing plant and washed out, using fresh water. The bottle-wash, which at this point is a mixture of fresh water and the bottom dregs of beer, are then placed in can and bottles marked “Coors”. Sorry, but Coors is, like the old joke goes, like making love in a canoe (e-mail me for further clarification). Advantage: Boston [Up On The Monster]
• World Series Game II Story: Red Sox, Delicious. Oh hell yeah. Taco Bell knows what it is doing. Namely, creating a folk-hero out of Jacoby Ellsbury. Everyone in America gets for free what some wouldn’t even consider paying for. Outstanding. Me? I let someone borrow my ID so they could get two. Did it work? Also, baseball was played. Schilling was solid, Oki and Paps were phenomenal at the end. [Over The Monster]
• This Could Be The Last Time. He arrived in a flurry of Dunkin’ Donuts and truck commercials, and tonight, as we try to take another step toward our second World Series championship in his four seasons with us, Curt Schilling may be pitching his last game for the Boston Red Sox. It’d be easy to get all melancholy about it, but would Curt want that? Screw that noise. There’s no crying in baseball. And certainly no crying when we’ve got the hard-ass, straight-outta-Medfield, Playoff-time Superman versus 23 year-old rookie Ubaldo Jimenez. [Surviving Grady]
Continue Reading October 26th, 2007
In the first game of the World Series, the Rockies looked tentative, scared, confused and overmatched. They corrected almost all those problems last night in Game 2 … and they still lost. This doesn’t look good.
It would seem like last night was the ideal circumstance for the Rockies to sneak out a game at Fenway Park. A clearly aged Curt Schilling sneaking by on spit and gristle. A sharp bullpen able to shut down pretty much everybody but J.D. Drew. (!) The Red Sox never quite feeling in control. And yet … another loss.
The Game 1 loss was a blowout, but this was the game that hurt. If the Rockies get the series back to Fenway, we’ll be awfully surprised.
Learning To Like Schilling [Fair And Foul]
Continue Reading October 26th, 2007
Filed under: Nintendo Wii, Simulations, Sports, Casual
SouthPeak Games, after having gifted us with a forgettable RPG and a nauseating zombie hunt, has announced plans to break ground for the Wii by announcing Pool Party, its first title for Nintendo’s console. If upon hearing that you had hopes of scantily-clad babes and jocks doing belly flops off the diving board, you may be disappointed, as this game concerns a pool of the other kind. You know, pocket billiards.
SouthPeak says that the game will include both single and multiplayer modes across 13 different types of pool, from 8 and 9-ball, to snooker, rotation, and black jack. In addition, Pool Party will include multiple environments, as well as various pool sharks to control. The title, which is expected to ship for the Wii in February, will also marry playing pool with waggle for what the publisher describes as “the most definitive pool simulation yet seen on Nintendo hardware.” SouthPeak, Lunar Pool would like to have a word with you.
edit: it appears that the game is in fact already out, and has been for some time at least in North America, making the announcement sent our way some strange mix of internet tomfoolery and mysticism.
Read | Permalink | Email this | Comments
SPONSORED BY: Age of Empires III - Real-Time Strategy Game Control a European power on a quest to colonize and conquer the New World. AOE3 introduces new gameplay elements, as well as new civilizations, units, and technologies. http://www.ageofempires3.com/
Continue Reading October 26th, 2007
Filed under: Nintendo Wii, Simulations, Sports, Casual
SouthPeak Games, after having gifted us with a forgettable RPG and a nauseating zombie hunt, has announced plans to break ground for the Wii by announcing Pool Party, its first title for Nintendo’s console. If upon hearing that you had hopes of scantily-clad babes and jocks doing belly flops off the diving board, you may be disappointed, as this game concerns a pool of the other kind. You know, pocket billiards.
SouthPeak says that the game will include both single and multiplayer modes across 13 different types of pool, from 8 and 9-ball, to snooker, rotation, and black jack. In addition, Pool Party will include multiple environments, as well as various pool sharks to control. The title, which is expected to ship for the Wii in February, will also marry playing pool with waggle for what the publisher describes as “the most definitive pool simulation yet seen on Nintendo hardware.” SouthPeak, Lunar Pool would like to have a word with you.
edit: it appears that the game is in fact already out, and has been for some time at least in North America, making the announcement sent our way some strange mix of internet tomfoolery and mysticism.
Read | Permalink | Email this | Comments
SPONSORED BY: Age of Empires III - Real-Time Strategy Game Control a European power on a quest to colonize and conquer the New World. AOE3 introduces new gameplay elements, as well as new civilizations, units, and technologies. http://www.ageofempires3.com/
