Continue Reading October 19th, 2007
This is a few days old, but we can’t let it pass unremarked. It appears Isiah Thomas has the same firm grasp of his roster as he always has.
Earlier this week, this exchange happened.
Reporter: When the trade was made, it looked like Fred and Dan Dickau were just salary cap throw-ins. When you made that trade, how did that discussion go?
Isiah Thomas: Both of those guys fit our team. I think Dickau is going to be a good player on our team when he’s healthy. With Fred, you can’t consider either of those guys throw-ins.
The problem, of course, is that Dickau was released last month, before the Knicks ever started practicing. We know Isiah has been, um, distracted, but, you know, he does run the team.
God, we can’t wait for the Knicks to start playing again. This will be fun.
Isiah Thomas Thinks Dan Dickau Is Still Around? [Stop Mike Lupica]
Continue Reading October 19th, 2007
We know that NBA players often move around a lot, but Allen Iverson just took it to an extreme: He bought a place in Atlanta and moved his whole family out in 60 days.
It turns out, the place was the ultimate money pit.
Pictures taken by experts hired by the NBA’s four-time leading scorer show a series of horizontal and vertical cracks in brickwork on the outside of the house. Inside, the house has been plagued with settling as well as wide gaps in doorways, oak floorboards that have separated and floor-to-ceiling cracks in walls.
Experts hired by the Iversons reported that the trusses in the floor system at the center of the home weren’t built to handle all the weight above, causing the house to sag dramatically.
Yeah, those saggy houses, they’ll get ya. Iverson is now suing to get his money back. But all the weight above? How many people live in Iverson’s house again?
AI Wants His Money Back [You Been Blinded]
Continue Reading October 19th, 2007
In a perfect, imaginary universe, Joe Torre would just go off today. His press conference, which is starting any minute now, will most likely feature Torre looking bemused and tired, giving “his side” of the story.
He will be classy, measured, mature and totally no fun. We’d love to see him lose his mind, start railing about how Steinbrenner soils himself, how his kids are morons, how Brian Cashman once killed a hooker just to watch her die. We’d love to see him let go of all his frustrations after a decade of being jerked around and emerging, somehow, victorious as the most popular Yankees of them all.
He won’t do this, of course, but it’s fun to play pretend.
To see what he actually does, we invite you to join The Assimilated Negro with a fun live-blog of Torre’s press conference, which begins after the jump. We hope TAN can adequately describe the sensation of watching a man unburden himself by stripping off his clothing and jumping in the Hudson River.
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2:40. This whole thing just really raises the issue of baseball managers in general. If you start parsing the details, you can’t help but want to say … WTF DO YOU DO???? You sign off on stuff? Wanna steal? ok. Wanna pitch? ok. The results are dictated by the players. And the GM puts the players on the roster. The manager hangs out and gets paid. Breaking News: Anyone could manage the Yankees. At least to the playoffs. What are Jeter and ARod gonna do, take themselves out the lineup? I like thinking about one of the commenters sitting in the dugout mulling with the pitching coach on whether “it’s time for Mariano.” I think it’s time for a Who Wants to Manage the Yankees? reality show. Let’s make some money.
2:38. I openly challenge George Steinbrenner to a Scrabulous duel!
2:35. Someone’s reading the live-blog and asked Joe “what he thought of this turnout,” and he got a little choked up. He didn’t go in for the kill though. Someone should use the “l-word.”
2:31. Joe says he wishes the umps stopped the game during The Bug Bowl. I can use a football reference, right? Mr. Torre would forgive me.
2:30. Ok, we’re half-hour in. Now I”m serious. Where’s Steinbrenner? Alive? If you’re alive George, please email. i won’t believe it until you send me a message on myspace facebook.
2:29. A little tension about Randy Levine. Q: What do you think of him? A: I don’t deal with him. And not as smooth as Joe usually is.
2:28. The emotion is gone. We need more tears! Where’s Waldman? We need tougher emotionally leading questions. What do you think of Jeter? What did you get Don Zimmer for his birthday?
2:27. Joe Torre’s suggestion to the next guy is “Just Be Yourself.” I think the book comes out in ttime for spring training next year.
2:26. He suggests that “someone must have nudged him” regarding Steinbrenner. So there IS a conspiracy! I hear The Sopranos theme song faintly rising in the background.
2:25. Who’s going to Joe Torre’s Media Potluck dinner tonight?I hear everyone’s gonna be there …
2:23. No Steinbrenner. Joe’s first mention of him as a “tough taskaster who wants what he pays for.” Can anyone verify Steinbrenner is still alive? Press releases don’t count. I won’t believe it until I see it on youtube.
2:21. While I have an audience, I’m announcing a press conference, just to try it out. I’m announcing that I’m turning down Leitch’s offer of $5. With $.50 options every thousand page views. I’m used to $75, STRAIGHT UP. That’s the deal. I ushered Deadspin into the post civil rights era. $5 is a slap in the face.
2:19. Q: Is the door absolutely shut? A: I can’t say that. But I’m not predictor of the future. If there’s a trust established. I’m open. But I don’t anticipate it happening.
2:17. “Time for him to look back and appreciate…” all his records and legendary status. Etc. Etc. You almost forget he’s made over $70M or something with this job. He’ll be ok I think.
2:15. Q: Do you think they offered it knowing that you would turn it down? A: That’s for you guys to decide. Q: Would two years have made a difference? A: The paycut was the big issue. It means they’re dissatisfied. But two years would have opened a door for communication, yes. (I’m paraphrasing).
2:13. Joe Torre just took a drink of water … I think this might be a peak moment.
2:12. Nothing new here. He’s basically verifying what everyone has said. The contract was a slap in the face (translated to PC Joe Torrese), and that’s pretty much it. No negotiating.
2:10. Still laughing from the text message story. Give me time to recover.
2:08. Before questions Torre has an anecdote, About a text message , struggling actor nephew who texted him. He reads, “uncle joe, you may feel a desire to thank me for being such an inspiration to you. but it’s not necessary.” Hmmm, that was good. Right? …. Here come the questions…
2:07. He thanked Cashman, I guess cause he didn’t thank him when he thanked everyone else.
2:06. He’s explaining himself. It’s what everyone has presumed. The terms were rude. And he didn’t want all the stress and added pressure of having to worry about the manager.
2:05. A minute in and we have our first break for cathartic release! This might be very very good…. Ok, he’s composed himself. And the server is slow, so I’m able to continue my thought before publishing. Fair warning.
2:04. Joe is wearing a nice suit, and is emotional right off the bat. He starts thanking Scrooge McSteinbrenner. Players, coaches, so no individual mentions of every employee for the past 12 years.
2:03. Hee we go!
2:02. Hasn’t started. Should I say something? Ok …What I do find interesting about this story is that both parties are right, and for both it has everything to do with cachet and nothing to do with $. Yanks offer him top dollar, without the World Series premium. Torre sees a paycut as a slap in the face, which it is. What are you gonna do? Hold a press conference? Liveblog it? Oh, right.
1:59. Watching on YES. Packed house.
1:58. Fair warning: Will told me “go nuts,” and I have a genetic disposition towards rambling, and I’m not anticipating this press conference to have much in the way of excitement, so, y’know, … good luck! Also, I love you. I love you like my father, Joe Torre.
1:57. I’m not sure what channel to watch. It’s goign live on most local news networks.
1:55. Breaking News: Joe Torre has TURNED DOWN the Yankees. He will no longer be the manager.
Continue Reading October 19th, 2007
With their whole name change — no more evil Rays! — Tampa Bay is unveiling their new uniforms next month. And they’re bringing out the big guns for the experience.
The Rays will indeed have the promised “major entertainment star” on hand Nov. 8 when they unveil their new look at Straub Park in downtown St. Pete. I initially wondered about the wording of that, since you figure they’d just call a band a band. Now I get it. The star in question is indeed major–Kevin Costner–but he also happens to have a band. Who knew?
Anyway, the St. Pete shindig will begin at 6:30 p.m., immediately following the fashion show (beginning at 5:30) that will serve as the official debut of the Rays’ new uniforms. Fireworks will follow [Costner’s “band”’s] set at 8 p.m. The fashion show is scheduled to include current Rays players and coaches along with the likes of Wade Boggs and Fred McGriff.
We don’t imagine it took much persuasion on the part of the Rays. “Hey, Kevin, if you show up in St. Pete, you can wear a baseball uniform and we’ll let your crappy band play. That work? Oh, no, you don’t have to come until November. What? Oh. You’re here now? That’s you knocking? Well, jeez, come on in then.”
f You Unveil It, They Will Come [DRaysBay]
Continue Reading October 19th, 2007
Oh yes we’ve got trouble! Right here in Salina Kansas! With a capital T and that rhymes with B and that stands for boobs! Here are Salina Central High seniors Jessica Sheahon and Haley Wenthe, modeling salacious T-shirt designs which have been banned from their high school campus. The entire notion is shocking indeed: Don’t kids now just skip right over second base?
It’s an idea to raise money for breast cancer awareness, the plan of a pair of high school seniors. Now one of their designs has been banned from their school. Sheahon says, “We thought that would be a great way to market to kids and get them thinking about breast cancer.” However, the school disagreed, they were told they couldn’t sell them or wear them on campus. “The T-shirt in question included a sexual innuendo that we felt was inappropriate for school, it was not a message we wanted to convey in school,” says Salina Central High School Principal Stan Vaughn.
Way to go, Stan! If it wasn’t for educators like you, creativity in the name of a good cause would be running rampant in our schools. Now you kids quietly go about your business, mmm-kay?
Thanks to the magical Internets, however, the word is out and Sheahon and Wenthe are selling more shirts than they have had time to mail out. The creative side of the human brain, and breasts, triumph!
(Photo by Jeff Cooper, Salina Journal).
‘Save Second Base’ T-Shirts Raising Money, Awareness, Eyebrows [49ABC News]
School And Girls React To T-Shirt Ban [KWCH-TV]
Continue Reading October 19th, 2007
When you are a stranger who comes into a new town, walks up to the mayor, slaps him in the mouth, hoist his wife over your shoulder and stroll out of town (kicking a couple dogs on the way out), it’s safe to say a few of the local words will have some choice words to say about you. It’s part of the whole “slap the mayor and take his wife” game; it should theoretically thicken one’s skin. Unless you are one of the new Sonics owners.
The Oklahoma crew trying to take the team away, while pleading their (failed) case to have court proceedings about the “move” held in Denver rather than Seattle, said their sensitive virgin eyes have been probed by those nasty, nasty emails.
While arguing their case with the AAA, the Sonics filed papers citing “disturbing fringe elements” surrounding the case, and even claimed the team’s lawyers had “received threats and other highly charged communications” after taking the case.
Yes. Highly charged communication. This will happen when you stroll into Seattle and slap the mayor in the mouth while stealing his wife.
Paranoid Bennett Hounded By “Disturbing Fringe Elements” [Supersonics Soul]
Continue Reading October 19th, 2007
Via Touchdown.org comes one of the more amusing attempts by a professional sports franchise to master the series of tubes that is the Internets.
Turns out, the Dallas Cowboys don’t own Cowboys.com. So they went to an auctioning off of the name and put in a bid. They didn’t quite understand how the whole process worked.
The domain name brought in a $275,000 bid from a phone-in bidder at the recent TRAFFIC domain live auction in Hollywood, Florida. The bidder had been earlier identified to be a representative from the Dallas Cowboys NFL team. An inside source confirmed with DomainNameNews that the deal began to fall apart over a misunderstanding with the bidder on what the bid of “275″ actually meant. It appears the bidder thought they were buying the domain for $275.00 rather than $275,000.
Yes, that will make a deal fall apart. This is what happens when you let Irvin handle your Internet business, Mr. Jones. Careful with those decimal points. Honestly, though: How out of it do you have to be to think Cowboys.com is going to cost $275? Does anybody on the Cowboys even have an email address?
Cowboys Fumble Cowboys.com Deal [Domain Name News]
Continue Reading October 19th, 2007
We hope you didn’t buy any Patriots tickets through StubHub last year. Because if you did, the New England Patriots now have all your information.
No, really: All of it. From a letter StubHub sent to fans who had purchased the Pats tickets:
In November 2006, prior to StubHub’s acquisition by eBay Inc., the New England Patriots filed a lawsuit against StubHub over the rights of individuals to resell their Patriots tickets on StubHub.com. As part of the lawsuit, we were ordered by the courts to surrender the contact information of every person who used StubHub.com to sell, attempt to sell, buy, or attempt to buy a ticket to a Patriots home game from November 2002 to January 2007.
We take the privacy of our customers very seriously, so we made every effort to appeal this ruling. Unfortunately, our appeals were not successful and we must now comply with the court’s order. To do so, we were required to give the Patriots organization your contact information, including your name, address, and phone number.
Seriously: The whole Belichick-China analogy is starting to freak us out now.
Patriots Ruling [StubHub]
Chairman Belichick’s Revenge [Deadspin]
