Continue Reading September 28th, 2007
All due respect to the playoffs next week, but we can’t fathom a much more exciting turkeyshoot than the National League this weekend. We’re three days away from the end of the season, and not a single team has clinched, with seven still in the chase. It’s insane.
The great Baseball Prospectus Postseason Odds report gives the following percentage chances on surviving the weekend:
• Chicago Cubs: 92.9 percent.
• Arizona Diamondbacks: 82.9 percent.
• San Diego Padres: 65.6 percent.
• Philadelphia Phillies: 59. 1 percent.
• New York Mets: 58.5 percent.
• Colorado Rockies: 34.0 percent.
• Milwaukee Brewers: 7.1 percent.
The series to watch are Washington at Philadelphia, Florida at NY Mets, Chicago Cubs at Cincinnati, San Diego at Milwaukee and Arizona at Colorado. Playoffs? Who needs playoffs?
Continue Reading September 28th, 2007
As detailed yesterday, carbonated beverage lovers were overjoyed to see Jones Soda roll out five new exciting flavors based on the Seattle Seahawks, all based on things found in Holmgren’s mustache. The flavors: Natural Field Turf Soda (featuring Josh Brown), Sports Cream Soda (featuring Matt Hasselbeck), Perspiration Soda (featuring Deion Branch), Dirt Soda (featuring Lofa Tatupu) and Sweet Victory Soda (featuring Walter Jones). Other teams, of course, were quick to jump on the bandwagon. So be on the lookout for:
• Bitter Defeat Soda (featuring Drew Brees)
• Ass And Wood Plank Soda (featuring Rex Grossman)
• Flea Powder Soda (featuring Michael Vick)
• Distinct Smell Of Leathery Corpse Soda (featuring Al Davis)
• Poopy Diaper Soda (featuring Tom Brady)
• Pact With Satan Soda (featuring Brett Favre)
Drink Up, Sports Fans [Deadspin]
Jones Co. Store
Continue Reading September 28th, 2007
Yesterday, on invitation from the fine folks at EA Sports, we talked to Wizards zuperstar Gilbert Arenas at the NBA Store in Manhattan for exactly seven minutes and 16 seconds. Here’s a complete, exact transcript of the interview, which was almost entirely about his blog. We didn’t take a picture, because we thought asking someone to shoot one would be helplessly dorky.
Hi, I’m Will. I run Deadspin. A lot of our readers are fans of you.
The blog guy, hey. You’re the No. 1 blogger, yeah.
I wouldn’t say that. I think that’s Wilbon. [laughs uncomfortably, alone] That guy you were talking to before me, that’s the guy who does your blog, right?
Yeah, that’s Dave [McMinnen]. He’s the guy behind the guy.
How long are the interviews, usually? He just calls you up and asks you questions and writes it up?
Usually about 15-20 minutes, depending on how I’m feeling and the topic. During the season, it’s once a week, but he’s going to Europe next week with Boston, so that hampers it a bit.
How much time do you spend on the Web, personally?
Not as much as you’d think. I check out my MySpace. I’ll go on sites to see what’s funny on YouTube.
Do you have any regular sites you check out, sports sites, whatever?
No. Well, yeah, but I can’t tell you, I can’t put those out there.
So you’re saying only porn?
Yes. [smiles]
Excellent. I think one of the reasons you’ve become popular in a different way than some other athletes have is because of your blog. Do you get a lot of reaction from the site from players or people in the stands? Do you hear a lot about it?
When I do the blog, I have things in my mind that people catch on to. For a while, it was the Hibachi thing that got big. The 10 dollar thing, the making bets with the fans thing, and me getting in trouble for it, people like to yell that out at me too. That was funny, because they’re actually paying attention.
I think you appeal to a certain type of smarter fan, like the Wizznutzz crew, who aren’t necessarily the Paint Your Face And Scream Obscenities. (Ed. Note: Nope. They just dress up like Wizards.) I think the blog is a large part of that.
Well, some people would rather not go to arenas, they’d rather just sit at home and watch the game at home, or play on the computer. There’s a lot of people like that. You’ve got your video gamers, who just sit at home and play video games all day. So by blogging, and playing video games, I’m actually getting to them.
Have you been to Wizznutzz?
My dad is more into the stuff like that, the RealGM, the Wizznutzz, those types of things. He tells me what’s going on. He was sitting there for five, six hours, posting under fake names, “how do you like that Gilbert Arenas? He’s a jackass, huh?” Just to see what the response is.
Do you at least go to ESPN? Do you have an email account?
I don’t, no. If someone tells me someone wrote something about me, I’ll go check it out, and I’ll “log in.” [makes actual air quotes]
Do other players come to you and tell you they want to set up a blog, or talk to you about it?
I don’t think they know how big it is. There were three other players who blogged, but it didn’t really catch on. The business people know about it, but I don’t think the players do.
So if you — or, well, Dave, anyway — called out somebody on the site, they wouldn’t know about it?
Unless someone in PR told them or something. I talked about Penny, and he came to me and said, “My PR guy told me you mentioned me in your blog. Thanks!”
Has there ever been anything in the blog that Dave’s put in that you’ve asked him to take out?
It’s usually the other way around. There’s some stuff I wanted in there that they wouldn’t let me put in. [points to Dave] Hey, Dave, we gotta give a shoutout to Wizznutzz.
Was the idea to do the site yours?
They actually came to me about it. At first I didn’t think I had the time for it, but I thought if Chris Paul has the time to do it, I can.
And nobody reads Chris Paul’s site.
That’s what I’m gonna outsell him in video games this year. Nobody reads his site.
Do you guys ever scramble to come up with stuff for the site?
That’s what it’s surviving: I have an entertaining life. I thought I was boring. When I went through my life, I was like, “I sit around and play video games all day. Nobody wants to hear about this.” But once I started doing the site, I was like, “Yeah, I do have an interesting life!”
Well, Dave makes it look interesting, anyway.
Totally. I always have something going on.
Continue Reading September 28th, 2007
Ladies and gentlepeople, we have finally figured out what we will do if we are ever convicted of a felony, other than “try to grow a mustache and move to Turks and Caicos.” We’re gonna make sure we smoke as much weed as possible, and then get caught.
100 Percent Injury Rate has discovered an odd legal loophole that could actually decrease Ron Mexico’s jail time, and it’s directly connected to his positive marijuana test.
By taking advantage of an obscure Federal Bureau of Prisons (B.O.P.) Rotational/Developmental Assignment Program (R.D.A.P.) loophole — 18 U.S.C. 3621 — Vick could possibly reduce his sentence by one year. This documented instance of substance abuse apparently qualifies Vick for this reduction upon completion of a treatment program.
The idea? Vick could take part in a substance abuse program that could take time off his sentence and allow him to spend time in a halfway house rather than prison. Proving once again what we already knew: Michael Vick is smarter than everyone.
Mike Vick Smoked Pot To Reduce His Sentence [100 Percent Injury Rate]
Continue Reading September 28th, 2007
There might be no better metaphor for the beginning of the Cincinnati Bengals’ season than the fact that fans have been noticing bird poop in their beers.
Yes, the folks at Paul Brown Stadium are seeking permission to kill pigeons that are heading into the fans’ area. This seems like a potentially fun side attraction for the kids of Cincinnati; watch the men in jackets murder birds!
Pigeon droppings have been falling on patrons and into their food and beverages, according to a letter to the city from Eric Brown, managing director of Paul Brown Stadium Ltd., which runs the stadium for Hamilton County, which owns it. He asked in his letter that stadium employees who are familiar with firearms be allowed to shoot birds a few days prior to an event, adding that company officials believe the shooting to be a “cost-effective way to get this problem under control.”
City officials are working with stadium officials on both the legalities of killing the birds as well as the means by which they might be killed, said city spokeswoman Meg Olberding.
Right now, there’s one Bengals employee who’s really excited about being able to shoot and kill things for his job. Hell, he’s probably a player.
Bengals: Let Us Cut The Poop [Cincinnati Enquirer]
This young man is Bronson Sardinha, a September callup by the Yankees and a native of Hawaii. You can tell he’s from Hawaii, because he has the strangest middle name we’ve ever heard from a Major League Baseball player.
