Archive for September 26th, 2007
Continue Reading September 26th, 2007
Whether it’s fair or not, there’s only one baseball place on earth where Barry Bonds is beloved: AT&T Park in San Francisco. And tonight’s the last night he’ll ever be able to bask in that love.
It’s Barry’s last night in San Francisco as a Giant, and even though he’ll be with another team next year, with their own fans, he’ll never receive the unmitigated, unrestrained ovation that he will tonight. Even from fans who are kind of tired of him.
I’ll miss Barry Bonds because I’ll miss watching him play. I so, so, so won’t miss talking about him, though. Wearing a Giants hat in another part of the country is a conversation-starter, but it’s always a stupid conversation. Why do you root for Bonds? How can you root for Bonds? When would you stop rooting for Bonds? My answers, in order: Dunno, Eli Whitney, and I like banana cream pies. There’s no sense in explaining it anymore.
The ovation Barry gets tonight — and he will get a huge one — is very likely the last, and biggest, he’ll ever receive. No matter who he’s playing for next year, tonight’s how we will remember him. For better or worse, for the sake of the game, for whatever: The Barry Bonds we have known and hated and debated and defended and despised for a decade now … that Barry Bonds ends tonight.
Open Game Thread, 9/26 [McCovey Chronicles]
Continue Reading September 26th, 2007
This week, in Minnesota, Brett Favre is likely to break Dan Marino’s record for most career touchdowns, notching 421. This will give him a one-touchdown lead and, of course, a one-Super Bowl lead. But we always forget: Favre is on the precipice of another record Sunday as well.
Yes, with two interceptions on Sunday, Favre will tie George Blanda’s record for interceptions, at 277. (If you’re scoring at home, Marino threw 252.) We can think, frankly, of no better way to commemorate Favre’s legacy than him breaking the NFL record for touchdowns and interceptions in the same game. It’s just the life of The Gunslinger Mentality.
All I Ask For Is Two Interceptions [Vikings Ragnarok]
(By the way, that photo is Favre on his draft day. Jorts!)
Continue Reading September 26th, 2007
Lions quarterback Jon Kitna, just eight wins away from that preseason prediction, claimed last week that God healed his concussion, allowing him to play last week against the Eagles. You might have wondered what God thought about this. Well, Sportsline’s Clay Travis has talked to God, and he’s sorry.
“Nope, in a moment of weakness, I decided to interject myself into the career of a journeyman quarterback who has had a buzz haircut since 1984. Lots of people think that I favor men with long flowing locks because that is what Jesus looked like. These people are wrong. Heaven has been partial to short hair on men since the Reformation. It has just taken a long time for short hair to catch on.
“I also know that some people have questioned Jon Kitna’s assertion that I healed his concussion via a miracle so he could play in the second half of one football game. Just because there are six billion people on earth and all of them are asking me for things all day long doesn’t mean that I don’t have my priorities in order. After all, I know that Minnesota-Detroit is a rivalry game. Plus, I also engineered Jon Kitna’s miraculous World Bowl V Barcelona Dragons win over the Rhein Fire in 1998. But no one noticed.”
We think this might be fake, but only because everybody knows God is rooting for Kurt Warner. Duh.
Cure Kitna? God Did It, But He’s Not Sure Why [ClayNation]
Continue Reading September 26th, 2007
Nothing tickles us pink more than an outdated championship shirt; our favorite is still when Nike had Final Four shirts for every team other than George Mason, the team whose shirts people would actually want.
Here’s a 2007 New York Yankees American League East championship jersey, via the great River Ave. Blues. Yes, we know, it’s still possible that the Yankees could come back and win that division, but it’s unlikely, and we think a shirt commemorating the first season the Yankees haven’t won the AL East since 1997 to be quite the memento. Grab one, before the poor third-world country children grab it.
T-Shirts For Some Third-World Countries [River Avenue Blues]
Continue Reading September 26th, 2007
So this is gonna blow your mind, folks: A couple of weeks ago, when matters might have been somewhat stressful for Michael Vick, he … tested positive for marijuana. You think you know a guy.
A urine sample submitted by Michael Vick has tested positive for marijuana, and as a result he’ll have tighter restrictions on his freedom. The test was taken on Sept. 13. Because of the positive test, federal court probation officer Patricia Locket-Ross, who is assigned to Vick, asked Judge Henry Hudson to place special conditions on Vick’s release, which include refraining from use or unlawful possession of a narcotic drug or other controlled substance.
We find it difficult to fault Vick here; it’s a lot easier to pay for weed before you go to jail, when it doesn’t cost you a salad tossing. We were wondering who that stoned-looking guy was, in the pulled down hat and shades, at the town hall meeting last night. Now we know.
Vick Tested Positive For Marijuana [ESPN]
(Photo from KSK and The Onion, of course.)
Continue Reading September 26th, 2007
We hate to harp on this whole Norv Turner thing — really! — but when we were looking for a picture to go with MJD’s Smorgasbord column this week, we knew we wouldn’t have to search long to find an anguished photo of Norv. We think it was already on every other site anyway.
Well, the cackling folks at The Coach Is Killing Me have compiled a definitive collection of Norv Turner Reacting To Something Horrible His Team Has Done photos. There’s some pretty gruesome ones, from Washington, Oakland and, of course, San Diego. This could get real ugly, real fast.
The Many Sad Faces Of Norv Turner [The Coach Is Killing Me]
Norv, Baby, Norv [Deadspin]
Continue Reading September 26th, 2007
The Reading Phillies are preparing to replace the playing surface at FirstEnergy Stadium, and of course they’re going to remove the old grass as economically as possible: With rock bands and a demolition derby. Hey, the town’s only rototiller is rented out that weekend.
Tribute bands Live Wire (AC/DC), Separate Ways (Journey), 2U (U2), Bad Medicine (Bon Jovi) and Draw the Line (Aerosmith) will play on Friday night, followed on Saturday by the The Smashin’, Bashin’, Field Trashin’ Demolition Derby presented by Pabst, Rock Hits Y-102 and J & J Demolitions, which will take place right on the infield. At last, Toonces can drive with complete impunity.
If there is any grass remaining after that, Will Leitch will play a round of golf.
Kiss Your Grass Goodbye [Reading Phillies]
Continue Reading September 26th, 2007
We didn’t watch ESPN’s timely Michael Vick Town Hall Meeting last night, but from just about every account, it was a total disaster. The audience was so partisan for Vick — which, to be fair, is the opposite of what you typically see — that anyone who so much as pointed out that Vick confessed to electrocuting puppies was shouted down. Even the slightly pro-Vick people on the panel seemed embarrassed; ESPN itself admitted this morning that many “were lured more by the prospect of getting some face time on the live broadcast rather than their feelings about the Vick case.”
We know how the NOIS folks think about this, but some in Atlanta felt ESPN got what it deserved for trying to invent some sort of TV “controversy” that exploited racial biases.
Maybe these loudmouths represent the true voice of Atlanta, a voice which believes Michael Vick was somehow the victim of a massive conspiracy designed to run the most gifted athlete Atlanta’s ever seen, a guy who was almost singlehandedly responsible for transforming the team from doormat into perpetual sellout, out of town. Maybe that’s it. Or maybe the vast majority of Atlantans have had it with discussing a confessed dogfighter, and are sick to death of manufactured, made-for-TV “events” that try to drive racial wedges into a city that’s got enough problems seeing beyond black and white as it is.
Man. We’re pretty glad we didn’t watch this.
ESPN Reminds You That Black And White People Hate Each Other [The Fynal Cut]
Vick Divides Us This I Know / Because ESPN Tells Me So [Atlanta Magazine]
It’s The Falcons’ Fault [NOIS Blog]
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