Continue Reading July 18th, 2007
That was an actual utterance on this morning’s SportsCenter during the maligned Who’s Now segment. Thankfully, my ears weren’t deceiving me as Fire Joe Morgan has the full transcript and subsequent takedown, which somehow devolves into questioning whether or not Jessica Biel just outed Dwyane Wade on national television.
I’d love to hear Dirk’s attempt at answering the central Who’s Now question.
Continue Reading July 18th, 2007
It’s been about five hours since we did a Michael Vick update. About that time, don’t you think?
First off, here’s some fun with timing: Nike was supposed to introduce a new Michael Vick branded shoe in about three weeks. Ooops. So far, Nike isn’t commenting on the whole endeavor, but, you know, if it comes out, you know what’s about to become your puppy’s favorite chew toy.
Meanwhile, the NFL is sticking by its “Vick hasn’t been convicted of anything and therefore can’t be suspended” theory, which is funny, particularly for Pac Man Jones, who’s gonna miss a whole season for an offense he wasn’t convicted of. (Or even arrested for.) ESPN has a great legal Q&A that shows Mexico’s in real trouble.
Oh, and Kissing Suzy Kolber has another offseason Vick update. And LOL Jocks kind of sum up our view on this whole matter.
New Vick Shoe [CNBC]
NFL Statement On Michael Vick [NFL.com]
Off Season Adventures Of Michael Vick [Kissing Suzy Kolber]
Falcons React To Michael Vick’s Indictment [LOL Jocks]
Continue Reading July 18th, 2007
We really wish this photo were larger, but if you can’t quite tell, it’s former Utah Jazz power forward Karl Malone — the second greatest white player in the history of the NBA! — with an enormous bear he has just shot.
It’s an Alaskan grizzly bear, actually, and Malone took it down with his good friend Don Peay, head of Sportsmen for Fish And Wildlife. And by for, we mean, “shooting wildlife and killing it.”
Say what you will about Ron Mexico, he at least kills animals with his bare hands.
It’s a welcome change for Malone, who typically just goes hunting for little Mexican girls.
Predator Hunters For The Environment [High Country News]
Kobe Hurt Over Malone’s Actions [Bastardly]
Continue Reading July 18th, 2007
Knicks fans, you’re in luck! You’ve been waiting for someone to ship Stephon Marbury’s ass to some other country for years now, and it looks like he’s gonna go ahead and do it himself. You’re gonna have to wait a couple of years, though.
Yeah, Starbury wants to be the David Beckham of Italy.
This will be my 12th season in the league. When my contract is up in two years, I want to go play overseas in Italy and retire over there. .. During the Olympics, David Stern told us about how big basketball was becoming around the world. He was right. Now I want to make it even bigger for the United States.
For my 14th pro season, I want to go when I can still go hard and give the people what they want. I’m looking at how David Beckham is getting love for coming here. He’s 32. I’ll be 32 at the end of my Knicks’ contract. Imagine if someone told him not to follow his heart to play soccer in the U.S.
For the record, Marbury’s shoes will cost three lira in Italy. We have one question: If Stephon wants to increase the popularity of basketball in Italy … why is he going? The game was just starting to catch on! You’re gonna ruin it, man!
Stephon Marbury, Crazy Talk [Posting And Toasting]
Continue Reading July 18th, 2007
Ladies, it’s useless to resist; the smooth musical stylings of Tony Romo are destined to capture your heart. The American Century Celebrity Golf Tournament is over, but left behind is this treasured memento, taken at the Center Stage Club at Harrah’s Lake Tahoe on Saturday night. I will not rest until I find out what song Romo is singing here, because that’s the kind of dedicated reporter I am. (Photo by Arthur Hervey).
UPDATE: From Hervey, “Tony was on my stage for hours, but the song he is shown singing in the photo was his special request, “Livin’ On A Prayer.”
I was determined not to make any fumbling-the-extra-point-snap jokes, but the song does include the lyrics “We’ve got to hold on, ready or not …”, and damn it, I’m not made of stone.
The Dog Is Skeptical That Maury Povich Can Make Par [Deadspin]
Continue Reading July 18th, 2007
He’s arguably baseball’s best story playing for baseball’s worst team, leading the NL in batting while chilling on the trading block. He’s Dmitri Dell Young, apple of my eye not once but twice in recent months, and I hope the Nats don’t deal him over the next two weeks.
Why not? For one, I need someone other than Ryan Zimmerman to root for in this wretched everyday lineup. And, more importantly, Dmitri may qualify as a Type B free agent this offseason, meaning that if Washington loses him after offering arbitration, they’ll get a supplemental first round pick as compensation. That’s more than they’d get from a contender leading up to the deadline and fits in perfectly with The Plan.
So let’s rejoice in Da Meat Hook and support the “KEEP HIM!” movement while we can with these new t-shirts. I’m unfamiliar with their origin, but Agent Steinz passes them along and I’ll be wearing one on next week’s Blog Show:
For more on our favorite National, who’s been hitting a Splendid Splinter-esque .406 over the past 51 games, visit your friendly neighborhood blogosphere:
Alyssa Milano Makes a New Friend [Deadspin]
A Shirtless Dmitri Young Greets Caron [DC Sports Bog]
Continue Reading July 18th, 2007
We don’t quite understand all the weird little in-jokes and politics of Boston Red Sox baseball, and, for this, we find ourselves rather fortunate. So maybe a Sox fan can translate this for us, because, apparently, NESN broadcaster Jerry Remy ripped into The Sports Feller on the Boston broadcast last night.
Apparently, there’s some sort of Red Sox Nation group, and they have a president, and Bill Simmons “applied” for it and … jeez, we’re just so confused. Anyway, Remy made a big show of ripping up Simmons’ application on the air and ripped into him a bit.
Don’t be writing in and saying you want to be president because I always wanted to be president of something. You want to be president of one of the greatest nations in the world, Red Sox Nation, you have to represent the people. He’s talking about getting free tickets. He’s ripping Mike O’Malley. He’s ripping my health. I mean, c’mon. The sports guy. There’s a lot of sports guys out there, right? Your campaign is officially over. Now he’ll rip… what does he write for again?
Remy seemed to be somewhat tongue-in-cheek about the whole thing, but, honestly, Boston baseball politics are too labyrinthine for us to follow. We do like the image of Simmons watching the game in LA last night — with The Dooze! — and sporting an immediate erection at the mention of his name.
RemDawg: Simmons Out of Running for RSN Prez [Boston Dirt Dogs]
(UPDATE: Boston Sports Media explains the situation, and even includes The Sports Feller’s letter.)
Continue Reading July 18th, 2007
OK, so the dust has settled from the big Michael Vick indictment. Let’s go through the highlights for you.
The full indictment from The Smoking Gun is riveting stuff. Here’s our favorite two parts.
• “In March 2003, PEACE, after consulting with Vick about the female pit bull’s condition, executed the losing dog by wetting the dog down with water and electrocuting the animal.”
• “In April 2007, PEACE, PHILLIPS and VICK executed approximately eight dogs that did not perform well in ‘testing’ sessions by various methods, including hanging, drowning and slamming at least one dog’s body to the ground.”
Charming! As you’d probably suspect, PETA’s not handling this well, though it’s hard to imagine how any reasonable human would. Vick might be in some serious legal trouble, but, as for now, the NFL has no plans to suspend him. Which seems, uh, odd, considering Roger Goodell just, apropos of nothing, suspended our sister from the NFL.
But yeah: Start picking up Joey Harrington for your fantasy teams, or, better yet, don’t.
As of right now, you CAN buy a jersey from the official NFL team shop with the name “Ookie” on it. But not for long.
Vick Indictment [The Smoking Gun]
Actual Legal Analysis Of Michael Vick [Rumors And Rants]
PETA Statement On Michael Vick [PETA]
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