We have never inherently been big fans of the Derby; it’s like whippets to us, dumb spectacle we enjoy only because millions of brain cells are being destroyed at once. Because of that whole MLB-ESPN fight, there almost wasn’t a Home Run Derby this year. Shame. Pity.
A couple of months ago, everybody’s favorite Curly Haired Boyfriend — credit to Simmons: No nasty emails please, Bill! — Boston Globe columnist Dan Shaughnessy release a memoir about his son’s senior year of high school baseball. Whatever your thoughts on this — and we suspect you have some — the book has received middling but not wretched reviews, and has sold decently. But that’s apparently not enough for the Shaughnessy family.
Angry about some negative reviews on Amazon, Shaughnessy’s daughter Kate has emailed a list of friends and family imploring them to write positive reviews to offset those nasty, nasty ones. The full email:
Hello,
I hope this is not an imposition, but I am writing on behalf of my father, Dan Shaughnessy. All of your emails expressing your appreciation for his book “Senior Year” have meant so much to him. The book has received nothing but positive press, and has been doing well in stores thanks to people like you spreading the word that you enjoyed it. It was, as you know, a very personal project and one that left him pretty vulnerable to all the “Dan-Haters” out there. Unfortunately, those “Dan-Haters” make it their business to fling mud at my dad whenever possible, and one of their favorite ways to do this is write terrible reviews for his books on Amazon.com. As pathetic as it is, these people actually take the time out of their day to go to Amazon.com and write a negative customer review for a book they have not even read, just to spite Dan Shaughnessy. So, I am writing to ask a small favor. If you can, please take the time to go to Amazon.com and write a customer review of your own, letting people know what you –someone who actually read it– thought of the book. It will only take a few minutes, and would help a great deal in silencing the mindless morons who regularly contribute to this “Dan-Hating.”
You all wrote wonderful things about “Senior Year” in notes to my dad. Please help cancel out the negative buzz on Amazon.com by writing a brief customer review, and giving this book the rating it deserves.
Thank you so much for your time.
Sincerely,
Kate Shaughnessy
What we find strange about this: We were only able to find two negative reviews about the book on Amazon. Surely, this seems like a bit of an overreaction; only two negative reviews about the CHB? For this a pleading email? We expected so much more from the “mindless morons.”
If you’re Major League Baseball, you have a veritable cornucopia of options of whom you should choose to serve as your postseason spokesperson. You could use Tommy Lasorda, like last year, though there’s always the dangerous possibility he could ask Joe Buck to show off his swirly move. You could use old standby Scott Stapp. (We’re sure he’s available!) You could even take a page from the NBA and dial up David Blaine, if he isn’t busy tending to his giraffes or something.
The July date will mark the earliest launch ever for a postseason MLB campaign. The campaign, entitled “There’s Only One October,” and featuring actor/comedian Dane Cook will highlight some of baseball’s memorable postseason moments, while showcasing today’s teams and most promising players in their quest for October greatness. The TV spots will provide a timely narrative of key stories which unfold during the regular season and their impact on shaping the 2007 postseason.
Yep, you’re gonna have postseason commercials at the All-Star Game featuring Dane Cook. Cook’s Web site right now signs off as “D to the C.” Ugh. (Here’s the definitive Cook takedown piece.) If there were ever a time for Red Sox fans around here to be embarrassed, this is probably it.
The Red Sox held some sort of Red Sox Superfan Contest at Fenway yesterday. Here’s a particularly inspired entry. The concept isn’t all that original, but the punchline, to us, seems worth it. Besides, we feel obliged to sometimes show Red Sox fan videos that don’t involve them pouring beer on or throwing pizza at another fan.
“Help! The infield tarp has got me!” If you heard those words, what would you do? The host Colorado Rockies cowered in their dugout, but the Phillies’ Shane Victorino is made of stronger stuff. Hearing the panicky cries of Rockies groundskeeper Keros Johnson, who was trapped in the middle of a wind-whipped, out-of-control tarp, Victorino snapped into action, battling the heaving cloth into submission and saving the day on Sunday. It must have been similar to the way that Jason and the Argonauts once battled the many-headed Hydra. Is Victorino a hero? Modestly, he says no.
“That’s not why you do things,'’ Victorino said. “I felt like we needed to help, just in case.'’ Johnson shall now live another day, and so will the Phillies. After a 50-minute rain delay, Victorino’s two-run homer led Philadelphia to an 8-4 win over Colorado, staving off the franchise’s 10,000th loss. It was a freak July storm that caused the tarp to go batshit crazy, and it may have destroyed all of Coors Field if not for the heroic efforts of Victorino and the Phillies, who secured it with the help of bulbous bench coach Jimy Williams, seen above, who acted as an anchor. “One guy flew 10 feet in the air,'’ said Adam Eaton, who also pitched in. “We were just hoping they’re not hurt. They all thanked us. You hear stories about people getting hurt.'’ Jimmy Rollins had three hits — including a pair of run-scoring singles — and Pat Burrell hit his 11th homer for Philadelphia.
• Do Not Shove Ichiro. Late four-run rally, check. Benches-clearing scuffle, check. Odd Ichiro Suzuki quote, Check. All was in place on Sunday for a 7-3 Seattle Mariners victory over the Oakland Athletics. Jason Ellison had four hits and scored the game-tying run in the seventh, and Jose Lopez had three hits, including his eighth home run. After Raul Ibanez’s bases-loaded double in the seventh, the relay throw from shortstop Bobby Crosby got by A’s catcher Jason Kendall. As Oakland starter Joe Blanton tried to retrieve the ball near the Seattle dugout, he shoved Suzuki, who had scored on the play. Ellison, the closest player to the incident, took exception and went after Blanton, and the dugouts cleared. Blanton and Miguel Batista were ejected. Ichiro: “I was happy to see Ellison do what he did. The way we’re playing it feels like this team is bonding.'’
• Jay Power. Alex Rios is quietly having a great season, hitting .294, heading to the All-Star Game and ending the first half with a run-scoring single in the ninth to give the Blue Jays a 1-0 win over the Indians. Toronto starter Josh Towers retired the first 17 batters and went eight-plus innings for the win.
• Mixing Metaphors With Ozzie Guillen. All is well on the south side as Javier Vazquez threw his second straight complete game to lead the White Sox over the Twins 6-3, and Mark Buehrle agreed to a four-year contract to stay with Chicago. “The White Sox organization is showing people we are trying and we aren’t going to throw the white flag,'’ White Sox manager Ozzie Guillen said.
• Barry, Barry Tired. Barry Bonds went 0-for-3 — remaining at 751 home runs — and the Giants were booed when they pulled him for a pinch hitter in the eighth. Chris Duncan drove in three runs for St. Louis, which won 7-0.
If you’re looking for a good way to connect with your grandpa (and you’re tired of him reading you the good parts from The Princess Bride) you may want to consider a new, 800-point ($10) pack of six classic stadiums recently released for MLB 2K7. With the “Historic Stadium Bundle” you’ll be able to play at Sportsman’s Park, Forbes Field, Griffith Stadium, Shibe Park, Polo Grounds and Crosley Field.
If your baseball history skills leave something to be desired, you can find some more information on Major Nelson’s blog. That way, you won’t be completely unable to relate when gramp-gramp starts waxing nostalgic about Polo Grounds’ “oddly-shaped outfield fence.” If you only have time to learn the ins-and-outs of a couple of stadiums though, you can also purchase them in two-packs for 300 points ($3.75).
A couple of months ago, everybody’s favorite Curly Haired Boyfriend — credit to Simmons: No nasty emails please, Bill! — Boston Globe columnist 
If you’re Major League 
“Help! The infield tarp has got me!” If you heard those words, what would you do? The host Colorado Rockies cowered in their dugout, but the Phillies’ Shane Victorino is made of stronger stuff. Hearing the panicky cries of Rockies groundskeeper Keros Johnson, who was trapped in the middle of a wind-whipped, out-of-control tarp, 
