Continue Reading July 8th, 2007
All right, I initially highlighted the mischievousness of sports blogs to preface you all with some of the goodness sportsbloggery can achieve in life. The blog U.S.S. Mariner wrote an open letter to Seattle Mariners pitching coach Rafael Chavez, wherein he mentions how Felix Hernandez throws way too many fastballs, a chronic condition known as Farnsworth Syndrome. Well, Chavez showed the actual letter/report to Hernandez, who heeded the advice. And it worked.
Rather than establish his fastball by throwing it a ton, Hernandez mixed in a few breaking balls against the Oakland A’s en route to an eight-inning, two-hit, zero-run effort. The A’s won 4-0.
What this means for Hernandez is that he can now learn to pitch, rather than just try to throw right by opposing batters. What this means for the rest of us, however, is that through the majesty of the Internet, we have rejuvenated hope in getting our advice through to our favorite athletes, in the hope that they will no longer suck.
• “Dear Rafael Betancourt, when you get the signal from the catcher, try to throw the ball as soon as possible, rather than trying to remember all the words to ‘Werewolves of London.’ “
• “Dear Greg Oden, you know how when you reach your arm into the ballhandler’s torso? Yeah, that’s a foul.”
• “Dear Carl Edwards, we’re not at all impressed that you’re leading the points in the NASCAR Busch Series. Just concentrate on the Nextel Cup, wouldya?”
• “Dear Vince Young, you still have a lot to learn about being a quarterback.”
Hey! Merril Hoge, how did you get into my post?
Bloggers Are Coaching The Mariners [Enjoy The Enjoyment]
An Open Letter To Rafael Chaves [U.S.S. Mariner]
Continue Reading July 8th, 2007
Omigod, We’re Gonna Be Here Forever. It’s now time to discuss universal differences between men and their girlfriends regarding extra innings. When the game spills into the 10th inning, guys are usually excited that they are watching extra baseball for free. The girlfriends, meanwhile, are just ticked off that they don’t get to go home yet. “I’m cold, I’m tired, and this is stupid.” So the guy usually has to play the guessing game: “Okay, baby, if they don’t score this inning, then we’ll go home.” If anyone did that last night at the New York Mets-Houston Astros game, then little sex was had, as it took 17 innings for New York to break out of that 3-3 tie to win 5-3.
Here Too. New York’s other beloved team found themselves in a lengthy struggle to not have each team end up with equal runs. The Yankees and Los Angeles Angels were stuck in a 1-1 game until the 13th. Yankees first baseman Miguel Cairo first bobbled a ground ball, then threw it halfway between first and home. Problem is, it’s best to throw it toward first base, seeing as how that’s how one forces out the baserunner. Cairo was charged with two errors — one because Jose Molina was safe and Howie Kendrick scored, and another one just to make him feel bad. The Angels won 2-1.
Detroit’s Safe Late At Night, Right? When the Mets, Yankees, and Red Sox all endure extra inning games, that basically pisses off the entire mainstream media. The Detroit Tigers needed four bonus innings for Pudge Rodriguez’s double to score Gary Sheffield and go home tired but happy (similar to the Walk of Shame) by the score of 3-2.
If I Yell At The Ump, It Will Make Me Feel Better About Myself. David Wells threw 44 pitches, 30 of those being strikes. Impressive. But the hefty lefty was extremely sure that he threw 31 for strikes. “Thirty-one, I tell you, you garbage eater!” Wells probably yelled exactly that line to home plate umpire Ed Hickox, or something equally G-rated, getting him tossed from the game. Since this happened in the fourth inning, it put quite a strain on his bullpen, but they had his back. His large, carbohydrate-laden back. [Shudder] The San Diego Padres beat the Atlanta Braves 8-5.
Just Merge The Two And Become The Kansas Bay Devil Royals. Why on earth would I mention a Kansas City Royals and Tampa Bay Devil Rays game? No good reason, except that I had to mention three big market team games, and felt like giving something back to the forgotten people. In a battle of which team’s bullpen could blow it more, the Rays’ pen gave up the lead in the 8th, then the win in the 9th. The Royals won 8-7.
