Archive for May 10th, 2007
Continue Reading May 10th, 2007
Currently, in the Ohio (of course) legislature, there’s a bill attempting to define what constitutes a strip club and how they should be governed (for example, they’re considering not allowing dancers to perform after midnight and instituting a six-foot buffer between dancer and patron). But yesterday, one enterprising politician pointed out that the new rules could end up applying to the Cleveland Cavaliers dance team.
David Miller, a member of the Citizens for Community Values (CCV), the group pushing for strict new regulations on Ohio’s strip clubs, joined lawmakers peering inside as a Beachwood Democrat explained the contents. Inside: The definition of semi-nude used in the strip-club bill, which includes the phrase “the showing of female buttocks,” a dictionary definition of buttocks, and a handful of pictures of the Cleveland Cavaliers dance team performing with their rear ends partially hanging out of their skimpy outfits. It was time for Budish’s question: “How would this law not apply to the Cleveland Cavs dance team?”
After calling it a “bit of a stretch” to think the Cavs dancers would fall under the law, Miller conceded that his organization would entertain a change to the bill “so it does not cover the Cleveland Cavs dance team,” as the standing-room-only crowd laughed.
Frankly, looking at that picture and the dance’s team’s Web site, we’re not quite sure how they don’t classify as strippers. Ah, Ohio.
Cavaliers Dancers Get Legislators’ Attention [Cleveland Plain Dealer]
Cavs Girls Dance Team [NBA.com]
Continue Reading May 10th, 2007
Hey Everyone:
I had the pleasure of recently interviewing one of my favorite fighters in the sport, Jason “Mayhem” Miller. I know Mayhem has a ton of fans so I hope you guys enjoy the interview, which is now available at:
As you will see, it’s typical Mayhem. I also took the opportunity to ask some followup questions regarding his recent revelation that he fought his dad when he was 16.
Continue Reading May 10th, 2007
We want to make this absolutely clear: We love America. We love it. We love the freedom to speak our mind, we love we are allowed to wear American flag underpants, we love that we can super size any combo meal, regardless of which sandwich we choose. We love it here.
That said, we kind of can’t stand the song “God Bless America.” Putting aside the church-vs.-state discussions, it’s just a poorly written and constructed song, sugarly, stupidly sentimental, not Irving Berlin’s happiest moment as a songwriter. (He even admitted this late in his life.) All told, “America The Beautiful” is a decidedly superior song. And we really can’t stand how Yankee Stadium still plays the song every seventh inning stretch; the pomp reeks of “We Are More Patriotic Than You Are” self-congratulation.
Oh, and also, you’re not allowed to leave your seat while the song’s on. Some people aren’t happy about that either.
Steinbrenner agreed to a plan to restrict movement. By mid-October 2001, he said, the Yankees’ implemented a system using off-duty uniformed police officers, ushers, stadium security personnel and the aisle chains to restrict movement. The Yankees pay the city to use police officers as part of the security detail.
Trost said the ushers were instructed to allow fans with emergencies to move through the stands. Because one end of each chain is held by a person, instead of secured in place, the system is not considered a fire hazard, a spokeswoman for the New York Fire Department said.
We always stand at attention and take off our hat for “The Star Spangled Banner.” We consider it an honor, and respectful. We do not feel the same way about “God Bless America” — which is not our national anthem, after all — and, sorry, George, we don’t think the Yankees are more patriotic than any of the other teams in baseball for commanding that we do so.
Well, OK, maybe the Blue Jays.
Patriotism, Defined And Enforced [New York Times]
Continue Reading May 10th, 2007
Tomorrow, NFL commissioner Roger Goodell will hear the appeal of Pacman Jones, who wants to have his yearlong suspension reduced. As part of his appeal, the law firm of Greenberg Taurig has compiled a 28-page document stating his case — as originally published on The Tennessean’s Web site — and it is a doozy, to say the least.
Basically, the lawyers have helpfully listed — comprehensively — every episode of NFL player malfeasance over the last seven-plus years, and it is almost otherwordly entertaining. Reading the PDF is like taking a stroll down memory (Fred) lane.
So, fire up the document and step in the wayback machine. Look, it’s Ray Lewis’ murder charge! Mark Chmura’s sexual assault indictment! Corey Dillon’s wife beating! Stacey Mack’s solicitation of an undercover cop for oral sex! Oh, thank you, thank you, Greenberg Taurig … you’ve made this Thursday afternoon a special one, and our lives a helluva lot easier.
Pacman Appeal Document (PDF)
History Is Foundation Of Pacman’s Appeal [The Tennessean]
Continue Reading May 10th, 2007
Tomorrow, NFL commissioner Roger Goodell will hear the appeal of Pacman Jones, who wants to have his yearlong suspension reduced. As part of his appeal, the law firm of Greenberg Taurig has compiled a 28-page document stating his case — as originally published on The Tennessean’s Web site — and it is a doozy, to say the least.
Basically, the lawyers have helpfully listed — comprehensively — every episode of NFL player malfeasance over the last seven-plus years, and it is almost otherwordly entertaining. Reading the PDF is like taking a stroll down memory (Fred) lane.
So, fire up the document and step in the wayback machine. Look, it’s Ray Lewis’ murder charge! Mark Chmura’s sexual assault indictment! Corey Dillon’s wife beating! Stacey Mack’s solicitation of an undercover cop for oral sex! Oh, thank you, thank you, Greenberg Taurig … you’ve made this Thursday afternoon a special one, and our lives a helluva lot easier.
Pacman Appeal Document (PDF)
History Is Foundation Of Pacman’s Appeal [The Tennessean]
Continue Reading May 10th, 2007
As we’ve mentioned before, soon to be No. 1 or No. 2 overall pick Greg Oden was the first human to spring fully formed from the womb, with a beard. And if his interview with “ESPN First Take” — it’s like “Cold Pizza,” only with a less dumb but more pointless name! And it’s not in New York anymore! — yesterday is to be believed, he really is about 40 years old.
The interviewer asked him, “OK, but what teams did you grow up watching as a kid? Did you follow a particular team?” Oden replied, and I’m paraphrasing here, “Oh, sure. Growing up, I watched a lot of the Lakers, and the Celtics. They were just good teams, that played good basketball.” Safe answer–big franchises with storied histories, doesn’t mean anything, etc, etc. Except that the Celtics were never particularly good during Oden’s lifetime, much less his formative years. In fact, they sucked the vast majority of the years that Oden has been alive.
Greg was “born” in January 1988, so the first playoffs he would have been alive for were the 87-88 playoffs. Boston lost in the Conference Finals to Detroit. If he were a human baby, Greg Oden would not remember that. If he were born a 36 year old man, he probably would. During his human formative years, when one goes and decides to be a fan of a team (I’m calling that ages 7-12) Boston was one of the worst teams, if not the worst, in the country. During that stretch, seasons of 95-96 to 00-01, the Celtics won an average of 29 games. The Celtics had one good year, during the 2001-02 season (49 wins!), and have steadily slid back into craptacular. So, when, I ask you, WHEN was 18 year old Greg Oden a fan of the Celtics?
Yeah, someone really needs to remind Oden that he’s pretending to be 19. Sure, nobody’s watching “ESPN First Take,” but eventually, someone’s gonna notice.
Greg Oden Not Even Pretending Anymore [I Dislike Your Favorite Team]
(Sports At Random had this first, by the way.)
Continue Reading May 10th, 2007
The Curt Schilling/Barry Bonds Tempest in a Specimen Cup took another odd turn on Wednesday, as friends and loved ones of the Red Sox pitcher hastily organized an intervention on his behalf. On Tuesday Schilling lit into Bonds, with the famous “He admitted to cheating on his wife, cheating on his taxes, and cheating on the game,” quote on the radio. But on Wednesday, after a rebuke from Sox manager Terry Francona (with Giants broadcaster Mike Krukow even chiming in), Schilling decided to cut his losses.
“Regardless of my opinions, thoughts and beliefs on anything Barry Bonds it was absolutely irresponsible and wrong to say what I did,” Schilling said on his blog. “… It was a callous, wreckless and irresponsible thing to say, and for that I apologize to Barry, Barry’s family, Barry’s friends and the Giants organization, my teammates and the Red Sox organization as well as anyone else that may have been offended by the comments I made.”
Oh, and don’t worry: Schilling did not ignore his base on the religious right:
“Quite a few people have tossed Biblical references my way in the past week or so after the Thorne incident in Baltimore talking about turning the other cheek and being above the fray. The only perfect human to walk the face of the earth died a few thousand years ago, that much I know.”
Well, that’s vague. Did he mean him?
Elsewhere in regret:
• “Sorry I’m not anywhere near as good as my dad.” — Jack Elway.
• “Oh shit, heads! Sorry about that, Freddy!” — Golfer.
• “Sorry my dogs ate your house.” — Michael Vick
• Sorry about the war and stuff. — Tony Blair.
• “Sorry for annoying the giraffe.” — Drunken lout.
Public Apology [38 pitches]
Krukow: Curt Schilling Is A ‘Horse’s Ass’ [SFGate]
Francona Calls For More Zip From Schilling [Boston Globe]
The Airing Of Grievances: Curt Schilling Edition [Deadspin]
Continue Reading May 10th, 2007
I just read the following post on the Underground forum:
“‘Tommy “The Duke’ Morrison has signed with the WFC. The Duke will make his MMA crossover against Big John Stover from Rapid City SD on June 9th 2007 at the Cliff castle Casino in Northern Arizona! Details coming soon!!!!”
I think it is somewhat legit because whoever is announcing it has a business account with the UG.
I’ll let you guys know if I hear anything else. Then again, does anyone care?
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