Archive for May 7th, 2007
Continue Reading May 7th, 2007
The second round continues with another new matchup tonight. It’s certainly one few would have anticipated.
Because we feel that no one understands the NBA more like the way we wish we understood the NBA than the gang at Free Darko, we’ve asked them to write up previews of every playoff series throughout the postseason. It will help us understand what’s at stake in each series, what matters, what it means for the individuals involved, their fanbases and their history. And there will also be funny, bizarre, non-linear photographs.
After the jump, our final conference semifinal preview, the series between the Utah Jazz and the Golden State Warriors. It’s certainly an odd second round matchup; it’s amazing that one of these teams is going to be on series away from the Finals. And it’s certainly inspiring to see the Warriors so close here, even if the two teams seem dramatically different than one another. If you want to hop in with your predictions in the comments, please do. Because we type about sports, and people expect it, our prediction is Jazz in 7.
And now, Dr. Lawyer IndianChief , from Free Darko, after the jump. Enjoy.
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The Golden State Warriors or Utah Jazz are going to the Western Conference Finals. I give up trying to figure out anything anymore, and so I am not picking a team in this series. Neither of the Jazz or the Warriors had won a first round series for years, and both teams are supported by giddily hungry fanbases. The Jazz have defied logic, defeating Tracy McGrady and Yao Ming and, in doing so, eradicating the two-star philosophy, a hallmark of championship basketball for the past 10 years. The Warriors, on the other hand, have transcended basketball all together to become an underdog rogue ideology, a universal symbol for optimism driven by impulse. If all goes as planned, this series will be a seven-day game of Risk played between Andrei Kirilenko and Andris Biedrins, with Jerry Sloan and Don Nelson standing watch as personified remnants of NBA basketball during the Cold War.
The most intriguing encounter of this series is between the two stalwart coaches, Sloan and Nellie. Plenty of electronic ink has been devoted to Don Nelson’s smallball genius over the past week, but equally masterful during this season has been Sloan, the real coach of the year (with all due respect to my boy, Sam Mitchell). Sloan, to an even greater degree than Pat Riley or Phil Jackson, is the only remaining coach who can justifiably give one of those “F*ck all you guys — I’ve forgotten more basketball than you’ll ever know” press conferences. His demeanor is Lou Piniella and Bill Parcells minus the pomp. He is the most respected man in the league. And despite his elder status, he can innovate with the best of them.
For all the press that Golden State has received for their multi-guard attack, Sloan has done the same thing — but with forwards. Kirilenko, Carlos Boozer, Matt Harpring, Mehmet Okur and even Paul Milsap are interchangeable swords. Just like Baron Davis, Stephen Jackson, Jason Richardson, and Matt Barnes are equally useful hand grenades for the Warriors. THE POSITIONAL REVOLUTION WILL BE TELEVISED, WITH PAM OLIVER ASKING PEOPLE IF THEY CAN SUSTAIN THAT MOMENTUM GOING INTO THE SECOND HALF.
Which brings me to my next point. Since Golden State defeated the Mavericks, we’re supposed to have fully embraced them as the encapsulation of true human potential: They embody style, they brought the joy back to the NBA and they taught us the true meaning of Christmas. I’m on board with that, but I refused to posit the Jazz as some makeshift foil, Aryan-centric, basic and defensive-minded. The Jazz possess style as well, though of a subtler form. Whereas the Warriors emit warmth and color, the Jazz players convey a chilly nihilism — an indifferent isolation in which one draws the conclusion: I have no one else to live for except me. This series will not be a battle of style versus the absence of style, but rather two specific brands of anarchic panache.
On the purely basketball side of things, we are treated to a clash between the relentless Baron Davis, Pecos Bill in sneakers, versus the greenhorn, Deron “Double Tuff” Williams. As these playoffs have single-handedly reaffirmed the point guard as the league’s marquee position, I expect this battle to be nothing less than spectacular. The concept of “matchup” exists nowhere else in this series. I no longer have any idea who plays what position on either of these teams. Positional pandemonium also reflects the fact that neither of these teams possesses a focal point. Baron Davis at best occupies this role for the Warriors, but even he admitted deferring to S-Jax and J-Rich at times during last series. On “Pardon the Interruption” last week, Michael Wilbon asked Davis whether he thought it was bad for the NBA for teams like the Warriors to advance. “Teams like the Warriors” referred to “teams lacking a defining superstar” and was positioned in opposition to teams such as Dallas that possesses a definitive “The Guy” in Dirk Nowitzki.
The answer to Wilbon’s question is meaningless. The Warriors, and the Jazz as well, may in fact be proof that a League of Stars is dead, and rather, this league is one in which star-status is not promised, but instead sits at halfcourt there for the taking, for whoever has the guts and know-how to kidnap it for a season (Mehmet Okur) or for a postseason (Matt Barnes). Allen Iverson was recently cast out as a footnote, Dirk Nowitzki as a pariah. T-Mac is an apparition, and D-Wade and Shaq are all but forgotten. Kevin Garnett watches from his couch, as do Paul Pierce, Elton Brand and Ray Allen. The Warriors and Jazz represent something more meaningful than star status. They are the active pursuit of greatness. Children gather around the TV, these are your true American idols.
Continue Reading May 7th, 2007
According to MMAWeekly.com, Martin Kampmann is off the UFC 72 card due to a knee injury sustained during training. Kampmann was scheduled to fight in the main event against Rich Franklin. A replacement for the match has not been announced.
I like Kampmann and Franklin as fighters but wasn’t crazy about the fight as the card’s main event. The injury to Kampmann gives the UFC an opportunity to schedule a more compelling main event.
Continue Reading May 7th, 2007
Two of my favorite college football blogs kinda sorta touched on the same subject today, five months after the fact. First up is Sunday Morning Quarterback, who uses Victory Chain Linker to illustrate in 21 easy steps how the 2006 Frostburg State Bobcats (awww, Maryland!) would totally smackdown the ‘06 Florida Gators:
Frostburg St beat
Westminster PA who beat
Adrian who beat
Albion who beat
Butler who beat
Dayton who beat
Robert Morris who beat
Central Conn St who beat
Georgia Southern who beat
Western Carolina who beat
Eastern Kentucky who beat
Western Kentucky who beat
Southern Illinois who beat
Indiana who beat
Iowa who beat
Iowa St who beat
Missouri who beat
Mississippi who beat
Vanderbilt who beat
Georgia who beat
Auburn who beat
Florida
Should Gator Nation find this fun bit of information troubling in the least, they’ll rejoice in the ‘Make Urban a Florida Myth’ t-shirts that Every Day Should Be Saturday tells us were being peddled by Ohio State fans prior to the national championship:
Even though the expressed sentiment is priceless, the sticker price on this garment has been slashed from $17.95 to to $8.99 to $3.99 since Florida beat the Buckeyes 41-14 in the BCS title bout. Perhaps they should try to sell them in Gainesville rather than Columbus. And, in case you’re wondering, the Frostburg State > Ohio State chain actually has 22 links in it (one more than Florida!), so at least the Scarlet & Grey faithful have that going for them.
Continue Reading May 7th, 2007
In the wake of Roger Clemens’ “Look at ME!” announcement yesterday, the fact that the Yankees and Mariners had a pseudo “lemme at ‘em!” brawl was entirely lost. (Same thing with the Brewers-Prince Fielder skirmish.) But nothing beats a bench-clearing tussle, mainly because rarely are punches actually thrown, and it’s funny to watch grown men pretending like they want to fight each other.
Anyway, Bugs And Cranks puts together an All-Star team of baseball brawlers, and this team might make us legitimately quake in our spikes and hide behind an elderly bullpen coach. One nominee:
Ben Christensen (minor league award) — Though once a top prospect, Ben never made the majors, but we share a home town so I’m a bit biased. In a minor league game, Ben drilled the on-deck batter in a college game nearly causing the guy to go blind. That kind of ruthlessness can only be an asset in a beanball war.
We had forgotten about Christensen: Excellent choice. We’d have to think Milton Bradley would show up here somewhere, though.
And In This Corner … [Bugs And Cranks]
Continue Reading May 7th, 2007
Remember the old days, when the bus driver who drove you and your school friends to the ball game just masturbated with his hand? Now they’re using mechanical devices and popping pills … it’s just like everything else in baseball; cheating is rampant. All the records are tainted.
Queens District Attorney Richard A. Brown announced Thursday that the 68-year-old yellow school bus driver taking a group of Bronx middle school children to a Mets game Wednesday afternoon has been charged with public lewdness and endangering the welfare of children, among other crimes. He was allegedly discovered in the Shea Stadium parking lot sitting on the school bus with his pants down around his ankles and masturbating with the assistance of a mechanical device.
OK, we’ll bite: Uh … what kind of mechanical device? Was it attached to the bus? Or was it hidden in the glove compartment? Define “mechanical.” We’re just not sure how this worked; we’re bad at math.
Bus Driver Charged With Lewdness At Shea Stadium [WJZ-13]
Continue Reading May 7th, 2007
This is probably treading on Dan Steinberg’s territory, so let’s hope he takes my initial findings and pushes the story even further. In fact, I’m shocked he hasn’t done so already. Anyway, for those of you not in the know, Washington’s best football team isn’t the Redskins or even the nearby Maryland Terrapins, no, it’s the IWFL’s DC Divas a.k.a. your reigning, undefeated 2006 women’s football champions.
Divas Cheerleaders Joyce, Ashli, Tracey, Amber, Angelina, Elaine, Bianca, Jessica and Anise
Since the ladies are off to another hot start this season with 70-0 (!) and 20-14 victories over the New England Intensity and New York Sharks, respectively, let’s familiarize ourselves with the roster:
· Desiree Adams lists her occupation as Renaissance woman, and M’Bwende Anderson lists her’s as visionary.
· Why does Jordyn White play football? “I want to moisturize my situation and preserve my sexy.” She also says, “If a Diva gets herself in some crap, PLEASE believe there’ll be 60 girls there pulling her out.
· Devoralyn Savage weighs in at an NFL lineman-esque 296 pounds, and Tessa “Ray-Ray” Nelson bears a striking resemblance to Chris Samuels.
And that’s just the tip of the iceberg. By all means, peruse the full Divas roster and watch the video trailer for Gender Bowl; a “sports reality special” hosted by Roger Lodge that stars at least one Diva. Finally, if you aren’t gripped by Diva Feva by now, I dare you to listen to the Official Divas 2004 Rap Song and tell me you wouldn’t love it if [insert your NFL team here] followed their lead. These girls rule.
Continue Reading May 7th, 2007
We were pleased to see former Illini Deron Williams and Dee Brown advance to the Western Conference semifinals with the Jazz’s win over the Rockets on Saturday night, but it brought us no joy to see the likable and seemingly doomed Tracy McGrady fail once again to push his team out of the first round. Free Darko muses on McGrady’s slow march of anguish.
There are many ways to dampen the tragedy of T-Mac, but none of them can wish it away. After all is said and done, and no matter what people make of it, he still tried, tried, and has nothing to show for it. … Here’s why McGrady is different: at this point, his story is just plain sad. The injuries, the numerous lost loved ones, the depression, and the playoff woes–all of it together will get you down even if you’re not looking for it. While Iverson or Garnett certainly take losing seriously, to some degree they leave that angst on the court. With McGrady, though, there’s no separation between what we know of his personal life and the miserable cliche his career has become. … If there’s no reassurance to be found, it’s because the ballad of Tracy McGrady is immune to sports. See him on the streets, and you’d probably try to hug him. And on some level, I’m sure he’d appreciate it.
For the record, though, we wouldn’t recommend trying to hug McGrady if you see him. The guy has enough problems.
The Color Of Pigeons [Free Darko]
(Associated Press photo.)
Continue Reading May 7th, 2007
There are all kinds of disappointing ways for a tight, close NBA playoff game to end. A key player can be thrown out, a team can self-destruct, a naked man can run on the court … there are all kinds of ways to transform a potential classic into a missed opportunity. But one of the worst has to be the star player being unable to stop his nose from bleeding. Even Spurs fans weren’t happy with how that turned out. From Spurs blog Pounding The Rock:
I hated how this game ended. How am I supposed to enjoy the win given the circumstances? … Why can’t the NBA have a little foresight with these situations? You know, if a player gets cut in the last five minutes of a playoff game, the team can take a full time out that is extended to five minutes to allow for stitching. Who would be against this rule? The Spurs, as voiced by Robert Horry, certainly aren’t happy with how things played out: “You feel bad for the guy because you want to have the best team out there at the end of the game, and he wasn’t out there.”
We’re not all THAT surprised that Nash turns out to be a bleeder, but it was an unfortunate end to an otherwise fantastic game. And it also puts the Suns in a huge hole right off the bat; at least the Bulls and Nets didn’t lose home court. In the year of the Mavs and Suns, the Spurs, once again, are plodding along in the spotlight, ruining everything with their blasted efficiency.
We Totally Earned That Win [Pounding The Rock]
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