Archive for April 11th, 2007
Continue Reading April 11th, 2007
Because we grew up in the middle of a cornfield surrounded by nothing but grain silos and chubby cows, the whole Boston Red Sox/New York Yankees madness sometimes escapes us. But even we can’t ignore the inherent excitement of a Dice-K vs. Ichiro matchup tonight at Fenway Park.
If we were having any trouble having our interest nerves rankled, here’s a DOUBLE HAPPY SMILEY YOW! quote from Ichiro about the matchup that will stir the souls of even the most placid observer.
“I hope he arouses the fire that’s dormant in the innermost recesses of my soul,” he says. “I plan to face him with the zeal of a challenger.”
Outstanding. Totally reminds us of when Manny Ramirez said something similar about facing Mariano Rivera for the first time.
“You know what would be great right now? A sandwich. Sandwiches are awesome.”
They are awesome. They really are.
Dice-K Vs. Ichiro: History To Repeat [Seattle Times]
Our Flag To April’s Breeze Unfurled [Soxaholix]
Continue Reading April 11th, 2007
For the first time since the George Mason-UConn classic, a media credential hung like diamonds around my neck for an actual sporting event. The occasion was Washington’s taut and ultimately disappointing loss to the Nets on a night when they backed into the playoffs thanks to an Indiana loss. The evening included everything from phenomenal swag to a Marv Albert encounter, and here’s the blow-by-blow …
Campbell, Dockery and Lady Friends Take in the Game
A guy like me with press access is like a fish on dry land. Thankfully I ran into
Blog Show producer Adam
Littlefield upon arrival and he showed me the ropes …
“Here’s the pre-game buffet .. The print workshop … The post-game press conference spot … The blogger torture chamber (kidding!).” From there we went to the upper-most press row (there seem to be three tiers of press seating at the
Verizon Center: 1) TV folks and big-deal types 2) beat writers and 3) folks like me). We took a seat, and here are notes from the first half:
· Washington’s starting lineup: Antonio Daniels, DeShawn Stevenson, Jarvis Hayes, Antawn Jamison and Etan Thomas. Bullets fever!
· The matchup to watch is Etan’s hair vs. Mikki Moore’s hair.
· Dan Steinberg in the house! He arrives late after losing his wallet in a cab and immediately scans the crowd for giveaways and crazies (i.e. Bog fodder). Before you know it, he’s off with a pen and a pad, and Littles says, “He could be anywhere, from the front row to the rafters.” Steinz is like The Fugitive in this place.
· Andray Blatche Watch: No run at all in the first quarter. Would be nice if Eddie Jordan would play him just to see what the kid can do with consistent PT, because we know Hayes can’t do jack.
· Jason Campbell sighting! He’s signing autographs, posing for pictures and sitting with ex-Redskins left guard/Bills free agent prize Derrick Dockery and lady friends. Littles says something about JC’s lady being one being Miss DC.
· Richard Jefferson elbows AD something wicked to the face. It’s getting testy in here. This is a good crowd for a Tuesday night in DC sans Gilbert and Caron.
· And a closely contested the first half ends with DeShawn drawing rim on a 70-footer, this after Vince Carter did the same at the end of the second quarter.
Ah, halftime. I scanned the crowd hoping for an Unsilent Majority sighting. No such luck, so Littles and I head to the press area where ice cream sundaes are all the rage for the working media at the VC. I pass since I hadn’t had dinner yet but on our way there we pass a guy randomly throwing DeShawn’s I Can’t Feel My Face t-shirts into the crowd. Ask and we shall receive!
DeShawn’s Signature Move in T-Shirt Form
With Steinz nowhere in sight and Littles by my side (actually, I was just following him around), we return to the game, this time on Press Row Level 1, with the big-deal types! Notes from the second half:
· Washington Post columnist Mike Wise sits down next to me and notices my Washington Post Live credential, which he believes to be the first of his kind and jokes, “I’m with Washington Post Analog.” Wise also notes that the Pacers are down by 7 and the Indy Watch is on. Playoff excitement!
· Clifford Robinson enters the game. Littles guesses that he must be 40 and I date his rookie season as ‘89-’90. We’re both right, and the proximity of Robinson’s waistband to his belly button confirms these truths.
· Steinberg joins us on Level 1, which is funny because a) He looks like Wise’s little brother and b) He’s getting cat calls from the fans. Bog Man Dan owns this town.
· We continue watching the scoreboard as the Pacers take the lead. The Nats and O’s are also losing. Dan tells me to start reading DC Optimist, which I will.
· Wise says he’s starting a blog called Mr. Totally Innocuous, which may or may not be an ode to Mr. Irrelevant. Hi, Mike!
· The Wiz carry a five-point lead into closing time, only to blow it due to New Jersey’s defensive clampdown and their own lack of transition D. I point out that “We can score during the muck and the mire of the rest of the game, but the end is a different story.” I am proud of this observation, especially the muck and the mire part. I also probably shouldn’t be saying “we” on press row, but whatever.
· Moments after the final buzzer sounds, signifying Washington’s sixth-straight loss, the PA announcer exclaims, “The Wizards have advanced to the playoffs! [Pause.] The Wizards have earned their way into the playoffs.” Nary a cheer is heard.
Blog Show Class Photo: Littles, Irrelevant and Bog (Taken by a Gracious Youngster a Heartbeat Before My Camera Died)
As the crowd files out, Steinberg began interviewing random crazies fans for the Bog, and he and Littles schemed the next Bog TV production: an expose on Caron chewing straws. For that we made our way down the tunnel, with me in full tag-along mode, where we encounter Tough Juice and Wise. They had a conversation about who knows what until Steinberg’s lingering presence could no longer be ignored. (I can say that because I was lingering behind Steinz). He asked Caron what’s up, which sparked the following exchange:
Butler: We just vibin‘! You know, like how you and I vibe?”
Steinberg: “You wanna do the straw thing now, or are you too down?”
At that moment a lady walked up and began talking to Caron, so Steinz went back to lingering. It was then that Marv Albert emerged from the tunnel and into the hallway. He stopped for a minute to wish Butler luck and speak with Wise, at which time Dan asked Marv if he’d do a spot for Bog TV. While Marv considered that, Caron finished his conversation and unsuccessfully attempted to get Dan’s attention. It was at that moment that both Albert and Butler parted in separate ways leaving Littles and Steinz with nothing other than the realization that Dan had blown off Caron for Marv.
On we went to the Wizards locker room. I’d never been in an NBA locker room before, and it was glorious. Gorgeous blue carpet with Wiz logo. Two huge flat-screens. Stationary bikes. An honest-to-goodness Hustle Board. Two lockers for Arenas, one for everyone else. The place was hushed, home to the most muted playoff-clinching celebration ever. It was the opposite of celebratory ,although Blache’s custom-made Wizards shoes did lighten the mood.
Amidst all my gawking, Steinz and Littles left the room, probably in search of something, anything for Bog TV. Feeling the hunger pangs in my stomach, I made my way out of the bowels of the arena, past the long closed-down ice cream buffet. Towards the Metro I strolled, thinking of Marv’s hairpiece and late night eats when the Golden Arches suddenly appeared. Against better judgement I walked in, where the aroma of stale urine hit me like an RJ ’bow to the face. Out the door I turned and into the night, media pass still around my neck, hungry but happy.
Wiz Soar Gloriously Into the Playoffs [DC Sports Bog]
Wiz Clinch Playoff Spot but Losses Are Getting to Them [FanHouse]
So Much for the Unleashing [Bullets Forever]
Wizards Motor Into Third-Straight Playoff Appearance [DC Optimist]
Continue Reading April 11th, 2007
This is Pac Man Jones. He won’t be taking part in any NFL games this year, which makes him similar to you, or us, or popular musician C.C. DeVille. He will be able to watch, though, and as of this afternoon, he knows when he’ll be able to watch which games. That’s right: As you might have noticed from the two freaking hours of coverage on ESPN today, the NFL schedule was released today. Some highlights:
• September 10: Buzzsaw at 49ers. With a 10:15 ET start, we guarantee you we will be the only people on the East Coast staying for the end of this.
• September 30: Texans at Colts. Schaub. Mexico. MEXICO! SCHAUB!
• November 4: Patriots at Colts. Here we go again. We’ll find this more fun if Tom Brady pegs children with passes.
• November 26: Dolphins at Steelers. Joey Porter returns, hopefully escorted by his dogs and Levi Jones.
• December 30: Lions at Packers. Brett Favre’s last home game. Totally.
NFL 2007 Schedule [NFL.com]
Continue Reading April 11th, 2007
The Sports Oasis brings up an excellent point regarding the suspension of Bengals wide receiver Chris Henry: How much money he will lose will depend entirely on when the Bengals’ bye week is.
With the schedule postponed a couple of weeks this year, for whatever reason (they’re being released at 1 p.m. ET today), Henry’s gonna have to wait to see if his eight-game suspension becomes nine weeks worth of pay. If the Bengals have their bye week in the first eight weeks of the season, it’s gonna cost him another week’s worth of salary, which is $25,588.24. (That seems low, doesn’t it? We mean, for a professional athlete. Doesn’t A-Rod pretty much make that per at-bat?)
Anyway, one would expect Henry to be keeping a close eye on the NFL schedule … though we suspect he might have enough problems right now.
NFL Delayed Schedule Release Costing Chris Henry $25k? [The Sports Oasis]
Continue Reading April 11th, 2007
With inflation being what it is, we feel that we have to be very prudent with our entertainment dollar. That’s why we will only see new movies with the following fun synopsis:
Three friends, in their mid-20’s, travel cross country in a weinermobile to kick a talk show host’s ass for assisting in the break-up of one of their friends who appeared on the show.
The film is Wieners, and did we mention that Bill Romanowski is in it, playing a gay cowboy? Needless to say, our Netflix queue is loaded up and ready to go.
Meanwhile, Romo, who had a bit part in the 2005 remake of The Longest Yard, continues to make movies. In the upcoming movie Weiners, he plays a gay cowboy. In Get Smart, a movie he starts shooting next week, he plays an air traffic controller.
We can’t decide which is more terrifying: Gay Cowboy Romanowski, or Romanowski in charge of guiding planes at a busy airport. Either way we advise all bystanders to run like hell.
Parker: Romo Tackles Biz In Supplements [Rocky Mountain News]
Who Would YOU Trust To Get The Right Supplements In Your Body? [Deadspin]
Writing Duo Fights Studio Over Release Of Wieners [Los Angeles Times]
Continue Reading April 11th, 2007
Notes on Tuesday’s games in the National Basketball Association …
• Controversy On A Sesame Seed Bun. We are sad to report yet another scandal involving the troubled Mayor McCheese administration, as the Chicago Bulls were accused on Tuesday of running up the score against the New York Knicks in order to provide their fans with free Big Macs. The Bulls took control of the game early, eventually winning 98-69. But Chicago took three 3-pointers in the final minute of the game, and Malik Allen missed a layup with 10 seconds left, leading to the piling-on charges. After the game, Nate Robinson, Jerome James and Steve Francis confronted the Bulls’ Tyrus Thomas, and James had to be restrained from going after Thomas in the hallway. “I think they were definitely trying to rub it in,” said Eddy Curry, who spent his first four seasons with the Bulls. “But we’ll see them next year.” Fans get free Big Macs if the Bulls score 100 points. “We just wanted to do something for the fans,” said Chicago’s Chris Duhon. “I don’t cook, so I wanted one myself. We certainly didn’t mean any disrespect.” (We love that quote.) The Bulls are second in the Eastern Conference, at 47-32, leading fifth-place Cleveland by a half-game and Atlantic Division winner Toronto by 1½. Chicago owns the tiebreaker over both teams and has clinched home-court advantage in the first round of the playoffs.
• NOOCH Us To Make Sure We’re Awake. And coming up on your left, folks, it’s NOOCH, on their way to the playoffs. Wah …? David West’s 33 points led the Hornets 103-100 OT win over the Los Angeles Clippers, bringing New Orleans/Oklahoma City within one game of the eighth and final playoff berth in the Western Conference. Right now Golden State has that spot, with the Clippers a half-game back in ninth.
• Wizard World. The Wizards are in the playoffs! But they still lost on Tuesday, 96-92 to the Nets, having backed in to the postseason by virtue of the 76ers beating the Pacers. Washington has lost five straight, and is without Gilbert Arenas for the rest of the season. But hey, playoffs! (Cough).
• When The Charlotte Bobcats Go Bob Bob Bobbin’ Along. It’s looking like no home court advantage for you, Miami Heat! With Dwyane Wade still at half speed, Gerald Wallace had 24 points and 10 rebounds to lead the Bobcats to a 92-82 win. The loss left the Heat three games behind idle Toronto with four games remaining in the race for home-court advantage in the first round of the playoffs.
Continue Reading April 11th, 2007
Notes from a day in baseball:
• Sure You Love The Sox. But Do They Love You Back? It began as most home openers do, with the a couple of numbers by Robert Goulet. It ended with a graphic pummeling of Jeff Weaver, the ejection of Jose Guillen for inciting to riot and a 14-3 win for the Red Sox over the Mariners. (Also, this kid is now totally busted). Jason Varitek and Kevin Youkilis each had three hits, and J.D. Drew homered and Josh Beckett (2-0) threw a two-hitter over seven innings, retiring his last 15 batters. The Mariners were coming off of four straight snow days in Cleveland. “We pulled out the whupping sticks today,'’ Beckett said. “They’ve been off for a while.” It was the first game for Weaver (0-1) since his win in the final game of the World Series for St. Louis over Detroit. He allowed seven runs, seven hits and two walks over two innings. Some fun in the eighth, as Guillen squared off against Boston reliever Brendan Donnelly after striking out on three pitches, with the benches clearing, to little effect. Guillen was ejected. Then Donnelly hit the next batter, Kenji Johjima, and was ejected. Donnelly said it was an accident, which leads to our quote of the day, by Guillen: “This goes way back since I was with the Angels. (I) caught him cheating once and, unfortunately, he keeps running his mouth like he’s going to hit me. You’ve got to be man enough to hit me and not hit a catcher.'’
• Dynasty! What’s the only thing better than an 11-inning Cardinals victory? A 12-inning Cardinals victory! (Hey, who threw that brick?!) The tempest that is the Redbirds won 3-2 over the Pirates, as Gary Bennett scored on a sacrifice fly for the winning run in the 12th. Jason Bay’s throw to the plate on a short fly beat Bennett, only to have catcher Ronny Paulino drop the ball.
• A-Rod Will Crush Your Weak Cheese. Alex Rodriguez has announced plans to homer in every game until the end of the season. He hit his sixth in seven games — including the past four straight — on Tuesday (hello, Barry Bonds!) in the Yankees’ 10-1 victory over Minnesota. Boof Bonser update: He gave up a three-run homer to Johnny Damon in the fifth.
• National Emergency. Wow, not even two full weeks into the season, and the Washington Nationals have already been slapped with the “hapless” tag. We believe that’s a major league record. From AP: Tim Hudson pitched three-hit ball over seven innings and Jeff Francouer drove in five runs, sending the Atlanta Braves to an 8-0 victory Tuesday night that extended the hapless Nationals’ losing streak to five. Harsh. Well, Washington (1-7) has been outscored 53-18 so far.
• Just Like Home. The Indians and Angels had to break into the Brewers’ Miller Park to play their game on Tuesday, with Cleveland winning 7-6 before about 20,000 people who were just walking by and said “Hey, they’re playing a game in here! Let’s watch.” Cleveland’s three-game series against the Angels was moved to Milwaukee after a snowstorm wiped out four scheduled games against the Mariners. C.C. Sabathia (2-0) gave up one earned run and struck out seven in seven innings.
