Archive for January 19th, 2007
Continue Reading January 19th, 2007
Last night was a momentous and strange occurrence as Henry Abbott (True Hoop), Matt Ufford (With Leather and Kissing Suzy Kolber), Dan Shanoff (Dan Shanoff), A.J. Daulerio (Deadspin), Darvin Ham (Wizznutzz), Will Leitch (Deadspin), Peter Schrager (Fox Sports) and myself gathered in a Brooklyn bar (with bocce!) for a meeting of the minds and the drinking of crap beer.
Amazingly, there was nary an awkward moment, save for when I handed out worthless sports cards as personal gifts (see: ‘91 Skybox Bernard King for Darvin, see also: ‘89 Score Brian Bosworth for Matt and ‘80 Topps Ted Simmons for Will). We basically stood around talking about YouTube clips and RSS feeds between rounds of tequila and cigarettes for four or five hours. It was great fun, perfectly summed up by Schrager’s email to all involved this morning:
“I witnessed a man pissing on to the tracks while I was waiting for the subway back last evening. Just me and him. Him just pissing. Me just nodding…like a proud father. Great finish to a fun night… ”
Of course, the above photo — which is just dying to be photoshopped to hell — is orbiting the blogosphere today and drawing comparisons to the Young Guns movie poster (Shanoff) and Elliott Ness’ crew from Untouchables (ironically, FanHouse newbie John Ness). And the KSK kids are having a field day with comments ranging from “white people!” to “nerds!” to “homos!” All of which is well-deserved.
Regardless, I had a blast and hope to put on one of them there sports bloggers summits for real someday. I think Abbott volunteered to coordinate. Right, Henry?
Sports Bloggers Agree: We Rule [Kissing Suzy Kolber]
Last Night’s Conspiracy of Dunces [Dan Shanoff]
Friday Bullets [True Hoop]
Continue Reading January 19th, 2007
All right, Colts-Pats. We’ll take it. It’s a canned storyline, but it’s still a fun one … particularly if Peyton Manning has to drive the Colts down the field with less than two minutes and the Pats up by, like, four. That sounds amazing.
Here’s some picks from around the Web.
• Cool Standings: Colts.
• Football Outsiders: Colts.
• Harmon Forecast: Patriots.
• Paul Zimmerman: Patriots.
• Peter King: Colts.
• Lil’ Sean: Colts.
• Dan Shanoff: Patriots.
• Kissing Suzy Kolber: Patriots.
• Deadspin: Patriots. This is not a particularly good Colts team, and a couple playoff wins over some sluggish teams isn’t gonna change that. Besides, the universe seems more right with Manning losing this game.
Continue Reading January 19th, 2007
Filed under: PC, Online, Sports, Business
For the past eight months EA has been offering FIFA Online for free in South Korea. The strategy being: if you can’t beat ‘em (software pirates), join ‘em. Much like any other company that owns digital media sought after by consumers, EA has had to contend with the free, albeit illegal distribution of its products across the internet. So FIFA Online is free in South Korea … with a catch.
EA has divided the cost of FIFA into micropayments, sold as “enhancements.” Want to extend the career of a star player? It’ll cost you some change. The approach has proved agreeable to consumer habits — and presumably less conducive to piracy. Since last May, EA has sold roughly 700,000 enhancements. Cha-ching!
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SPONSORED BY: Age of Empires III - Real-Time Strategy Game Control a European power on a quest to colonize and conquer the New World. AOE3 introduces new gameplay elements, as well as new civilizations, units, and technologies. http://www.ageofempires3.com/
Continue Reading January 19th, 2007
Filed under: PC, Online, Sports, Business
For the past eight months EA has been offering FIFA Online for free in South Korea. The strategy being: if you can’t beat ‘em (software pirates), join ‘em. Much like any other company that owns digital media sought after by consumers, EA has had to contend with the free, albeit illegal distribution of its products across the internet. So FIFA Online is free in South Korea … with a catch.
EA has divided the cost of FIFA into micropayments, sold as “enhancements.” Want to extend the career of a star player? It’ll cost you some change. The approach has proved agreeable to consumer habits — and presumably less conducive to piracy. Since last May, EA has sold roughly 700,000 enhancements. Cha-ching!
Read | Permalink | Email this | Comments
SPONSORED BY: Age of Empires III - Real-Time Strategy Game Control a European power on a quest to colonize and conquer the New World. AOE3 introduces new gameplay elements, as well as new civilizations, units, and technologies. http://www.ageofempires3.com/
Continue Reading January 19th, 2007
AJ Daulerio’s Cultural Oddsmaker runs every Friday. Email him to let him know what you think.
Heterosexual men should be wizened to the “Fuck crazy, don’t date crazy” mantra by a father figure, older brother-type two minutes after their first nocturnal emission. This information, usually gleaned much too late in life, seems to be one of the building blocks of happiness that’s sorely overlooked by most elders when they impart any birds/bees knowledge to their adolescent boys. Yet, it’s vital for men to know that there are warning signs. NBA players, more than any other professional athlete, sadly, don’t seem to heed them. Ask Jason Kidd. If he’d been more attuned to such a scenario at a younger age, he may have avoided what is surely to be an emasculating, expensive ordeal with his soon-to-be ex-wife, Joumana, as she goes public with the messy details of their relationship, both true and imagined. And there’s not an air kiss at the free throw line sincere enough to stop it.
Like most people, I too wasn’t given this speech as I began to start dating people, which, in turn, has put me in plenty of awkward romantic situations with many a loopy lady. Here’s a partial transcript from an IM session of one of my messy breakups from one young woman, a scenario that is probably familiar to those of you out there who’ve had the misfortune of dating one of these women and subsequently trying to end it to prevent further unrest in what was once a peaceful life:
*WackJob: you’re a cocksucker. i can’t fucking beleive you’re blocking. if i ever see you on the street you better cross. no wonder why none of your relationships last. you’refucking pyschotic.
Ah, what a memorable afternoon at work that was. Luckily, I’ve kept that transcript in my IMPORTANT STUFF email folder, and it’s served as a cautious reminder to me from there on out. Since then, the first signs of prescription medication, father issues, Hayden albums or twitchy, embarrassing, unsolicited details about past relationships are the hazard lights I let guide my way.
But NBA players, for whatever reason, don’t see it coming. So today I’m watching The House of Yes on a loop, sharpening my Bobbit knife and calculating the odds on the next NBA relationship to explode.
Gawk at the impending carnage, after this jump.
*Screen name changed to protect the guilty
Doug and Jackie Christie: 1/20
This is an easy, obvious choice given Jackie’s leash/noose she’s outfitted her husband with since the day they were married. She’s determined to not let her man get lured by the groupies who shamelessly throw themselves at NBA players on a daily basis. In fact, they don’t even have to be groupies — they could be toll booth attendants who make too much eye contact, or Girl Scouts who smile too big when trying to sell cookies. She knows what they’re up to. She knows. Jackie knows. This marriage won’t end in divorce - she will most likely kill him with her bare hands and then make a hand bag out of his skin. Infinite love, indeed.
Antonio and Kendra Davis: 1/10
Given her penchant for getting in drunken altercations at her husband’s NBA games and tossing hot coffee on passing motorists, it wouldn’t be surprising if Antonio already has restraining orders out on this diabolically insane woman he has the misfortune of calling his wife. Kendra’s sordid history is well documented — as is her husband’s unflagging support and love for this screeching dragon lady, even though there’s no evidence suggesting that she won’t, at some point, set him on fire in his sleep after a meaningless argument. For his own safety, there should be no sharp objects in the Davis house. Not even a pencil.
Allen and Tawanna Iverson: 1/1
Given their already stormy romance - one littered with guns and blood-stained cars, it’s apparent that the Iverson home is not one of domestic, gangsta bliss. And their new digs in the high altitude of Denver are almost certain to shake the already fragile psyche of Tawanna, as she adjusts to life outside the safe confines of Philadelphia. Why do you think Iverson’s bony body can absorb so much punishment? Because the balled fists of Tawanna wailing on him after his frequent missteps and dalliances are much more painful than even the hardest foul in the lane from Ben Wallace.
Andrei Kirilenko and Masha Popatova: 2/1
Even though she publicly granted her husband one free groupie pass per year, Andrei most likely knows this is a bear trap if ever there was one. There has to be a Russian version of Indecent Proposal available. Lopatova, a former pop star in Russia, most likely put this “allowance” out there to taunt her lanky husband more than anything else. She’s essentially saying, “You’re so ugly and undesirable that nobody would fuck you even if I put your dumb ass on the meat market”. But it sounds much nicer in Russian.
Kobe and Vanessa Laine Bryant: 4/1
Why the long odds, you may ask? How could this relationship last, amidst all the public turmoil surrounding the infamous Colorado rape allegations, and the stunning police transcript of Bryant admitting that his “thing” is jizz-bombing girls in the face? Because Kobe is impervious to such matters. He is Teflon. Think about it: has there ever been a more successful 180 on a public image that seemed destined to be forever tarnished? A $4 million ring, 81 points, and a new jersey number have all made this magically disappear. I’m assuming Kobe Bryant’s handlers are the same people that came up with the ingenious idea to put safety caps on Tylenol bottles after millions of people swore them were found to be poisoned by a lunatic. But Vanessa may also be just watching the alimony booty become more and more bountiful as time goes on. Do not mess with a little Mexican girl.
Continue Reading January 19th, 2007
We’re not sure what more we can say about any of these games, except to say that Rex Grossman vs. Drew Brees is certainly the marquee quarterback matchup of Sunday, without question.
We know the Saints are the sentimental favorite here, but we think it’s important to remember the Bears fan: We’re not sure that place could handle more than 21 years between Super Bowls. Oh, no, they’re havin’ another heart attack!
Here’s some picks from around the Web.
• Cool Standings: Saints.
• Football Outsiders: Bears.
• Harmon Forecast: Bears.
• Paul Zimmerman: Saints.
• Peter King: Saints.
• Lil’ Sean: Saints.
• Dan Shanoff: Bears.
• Kissing Suzy Kolber: Saints.
• Deadspin: Bears. They have been the best all year, and besides … we’re just not sure we can take two weeks of soft focus human interest stories. We just can’t.
A tight one here. Whaddya think?
Continue Reading January 19th, 2007
As many of you likely already know, the great city of Pittsburgh has a mayor who is 26 years old, Luke Ravenstahl. He’s in the midst of a campaign right now — he took over the job when former mayor Bob O’Connor died — and that means when you were once handcuffed outside Heinz Field for an altercation with a police officer after you’d had a few alcoholic beverages, people are going to bring it back up.
“I told [the police officer] who I was, and I told him I didn’t appreciate the way he was treating the fans, and I didn’t appreciate the manner in which he represented the city of Pittsburgh,” he said. “He expressed back to me that he didn’t care for my opinion and didn’t care what I had to say. But I didn’t back down.”
Ofcr. Hoehn then handcuffed Mr. Ravenstahl and brought him into Heinz Field. The then-councilman sat, handcuffed and alone, for 10 or 15 minutes, he said. He was then taken into a security office.
Ravenstahl was a city councilman at the time, and though we think this probably not that big a deal and does have the political motivation he says it does, we kind of sympathize with the cop here. You’re trying to deal with some drunk Steelers fans, and all of a sudden this snot-nosed kid shows up and starts telling you how to do your job, all because he’s “on the Council.” We’d handcuff him too. Just your bad luck that he ended up being mayor, friend.
Ravenstahl Explains Heinz Field Incident That Fueled Rumors He’d Been Arrested [Pittsburgh Post-Gazette]
Continue Reading January 19th, 2007
Notes on Thursday’s games in the National Basketball Association …
• Mavericks, Ascending. Who are the Tom Brady and Peyton Manning of the NBA? We have to confess we’ve never thought about it … we barely care who the Tom Brady and Peyton Manning of the NFL are. But evidently there are bloggers currently wrestling with this very important question. The Dallas Mavericks Fanhouse comes to the conclusion today that it’s Kobe Bryant and Dirk Nowitzki. So if that’s the case, then Thursday’s game between the Lakers and Mavericks must have been the NBA’s version of the AFC Championship Game. And Josh Howard must be, um, Marvin Harrison? What? Forget we mentioned any of this. What we do know is that Jason Terry had a season-high 13 assists as Dallas took a 114-95 win over the Lakers on Thursday. Howard led Dallas (33-8) with 29 points. The Mavs’ only loss in their past 20 games came to LA., on January 7th.
• Waiting For Godot Shaq. The Heat are really missing Shaquille O’Neal, but it looks like he won’t be back until at least Sunday. So for now they make do with what they have, almost blowing a 16-point lead on Thursday before prevailing over the Pacers 104-101. Dwyane Wade scored 33 points for Miami. Indiana had only 10 players in uniform because the new players they acquired in a trade with the Warriors — Troy Murphy, Mike Dunleavy, Ike Diogu and Keith McLeod — are not yet ready to play.
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