Archive for November 12th, 2006
Continue Reading November 12th, 2006
There’s a switch on Rex Grossman’s back that goes from “Spectacular” to “Scott Mitchell,” and it’s not a dimmer switch. It’s one or the other. So far this season, he’s been Christ-like, or he’s been Train Wreck Rex.
Which Rex are we getting tonight? There’s no way to know. But the Giants defense might resemble those children in the picture more than it resembles the actual Giants defense tonight. Michael Strahan, Osi Umenyiora, Sam Madison, LaVar Arrington, Brandon Short… all are out for this evening’s contest.
So make yourself comfortable and settle in here for some Sunday Night Football action. It’s not quite as sexy as Manning/Brady, but it is supposedly a display of the best the NFC has to offer.
Continue Reading November 12th, 2006
• The Raiders, and I probably shouldn’t be so disappointed about this, couldn’t seal the deal against the Broncos. No interceptions from Andrew Walter (weird) and 3 interceptions from Jake Plummer (not weird), and the Broncos are your winners. There were 109 total rushing yards… combined. Even the Jags and Texans thought that game was ugly. Broncos win, 17-14.
• Seattle hasn’t had Matt Hasselbeck of Shaun Alexander forever, and they’ve still got a two-game lead in the division. Be ashamed, Rams. Maurice Morris ran for 124 yards, Darrell Jackson had 85 yards and a touchdown, and Seneca Wallace had an interception-free day. Seahawks get the W, 24-22.
• It was the Marques Colston Show, and then it became the Willie Parker Show, and ended it when Terrence Copper fumbled the ball away as the Saints would’ve been in position to get a tying score. It was the third high-scoring game of the day involving a team from the AFC North. Colston had 169 yards on 10 catches, and Willie Parker ran for 213 yards on 22 catches. Steelers win, 38-31.
NFL Scoreboard
Continue Reading November 12th, 2006
• Andrew Walter has so far completed more passes than he hasn’t. And none of them were to Broncos or anything… no joke. He’s 10-of-17 for 100 yards with no interceptions, and the Raiders are actually leading the Broncos. Of course, Jake Plummer sometimes makes that possible, all by himself. He’s thrown 2 interceptions, and the Raiders lead, 13-7.
• The highlight of the day so far, at least in my opinion, was the Victor Adeyanju 89 yard fumble return for a touchdown. 300-lb. sprinters never fail to entertain. The Seahawks have rallied to take the lead, though, behind a couple of Seneca Wallace TD pases. Maurice Morris has 79 yards in the first half. Seahawks lead, 14-10.
• Alright, Reggie Bush probably just eclipsed Adeyanju for the highlight of the day. At least, it’s the highlight you’ll see the most. He took the ball on a reverse, and took off on a diving leap from about the four-yard-line, and landed at least a yard deep in the endzone. That’s his first touchdown from scrimmage this year. Saints lead, 17-14, just before the half.
NFL Scoreboard
Continue Reading November 12th, 2006
• Seems like a lot of these games still have a way to go before being over. The Eagles/Redskins game is one of them, but in a manner of speaking, it’s been over for quite some time. It’s kind of a statement game for the Eagles and those who had written them off. Statement game for the Redskins, too, that statement being, “We don’t play football very well. Eagles lead, 27-3.
• TJ Houshmandzadeh was just knocked silly. Marlon McCree, for some reason, decided that he’d like to hit Houshmandzadeh about three seconds before the ball got there, and drilled him in a completely defenseless state. And then Randall Godfrey was kind enough to put a knee in the side of his head. The defensive struggle continues, as the Bengals just added a field goal to make it 42-41, Chargers.
• For the first time since Bill Belichick was hired, the Patriots have lost two straight. For the Jets, Pennington had… actually, none of the Jets had really impressive statistics. I don’t know how the hell they won this game. 17-14 was your final.
NFL Scoreboard
Continue Reading November 12th, 2006
• The Titans are beating the hell out of the Ravens because they’re racist. Travis Henry has displayed tremendous vision through his Klan hood, running for 78 yards and a touchdown. Vince Young has a rushing touchdown, Drew Bennett has 74 yards receiving, and the Ravens have been unable to run the ball. 26-7, Titans lead.
• Alright, I guess the Dolphins are good now. Ronnie Brown has 50 yards and a touchdown, Joey Harrington’s thrown for over 130 yards (with no interceptions), and they’re shutting out the Chiefs. Damon Huard is practically begging Trent Green to take his job from him, currently at 3-of-11 for 25 yards. Dolphins are up 13-0.
• Chris Henry just completely pussed out on another ball in traffic… even worse than last week. I don’t know why Carson Palmer would even consider throwing another ball his way, especially considering that every other goddamn Bengals receiver is wide open on every play. Carson Palmer is doing anything he wants. Chad Johnson scored, but did not dance. Bengals lead, 28-7.
NFL Scoreboard
Continue Reading November 12th, 2006
San Diego @ Cincinnati. You know, a lot of people like to look at this as a contest between two criminal-infested teams, but I don’t think that’s fair. At least, I think the Chargers have had cooler crimes. Steve Foley was shot by an idiot cop, Terrence Kiel was aiding in the production of the purple drank, and Shawne Merriman, obviously, took a supplement that was unfairly tainted by a vitamin company that was out to get him. Meanwhile, Chris Henry is just a dickface.
Ravens @ Titans. As if there wasn’t enough drama surrounding Steve McNair’s return to Tennessee, Ray Lewis had to go and get racial with it. See, according to Ray, the Titans hate Steve McNair because he’s black. Just wait until they figure out that Vince Young isn’t just a guy with an impeccable tan.
Jets @ Patriots. I don’t envision a lot of suspense on the field–the Patriots are much better than the Jets, and they never, ever lose two games in a row. But the head coaches hate each other, and I’d really really like to see Eric Mangini pull Bill Belichick’s sweatshirt up over his head and beat him down like Tie Domi.
Cowboys @ Cardinals. The Cowboys will be taking on the Cardinals today without the services of defensive back Marcus Coleman. Coleman was arrested on suspicion of driving while intoxicated on Saturday morning, prompting Bill Parcells to cut his ass. It’s pure speculation on my part, but that’s the sort of thing that could be a career-ender. He was previously suspended four games for substance policy violations, and if he, like Koren Robinson, was prohibited from drinking after that, he could get a Koren-esque one-year suspension.N
Continue Reading November 12th, 2006
Redd… Zone. Kareem-Abdul Jabbar’s Bucks team scoring record went down last night, as Michael Redd lit up the Utah Jazz for 57 points. Redd’s teammates, however… well, they were there. The Jazz got 32 from Carlos Boozer (he’s still a prick, right?) and 27 from Deron Williams. Oh, and the Jazz also won, putting them at 6-1 on the season.
That’s More Like It. Amare Stoudamire had his best game of the young season, flashing some of the pre-microfracture form. In 25 minutes, Amare put up 25 points, grabbed 14 rebounds, and blocked two shots. As for Memphis, When Phoenix holds you to under 90 points (never happens), they outrebound you (also never happens), and Chucky Atkins is your leading scorer (that really never happens)… you might be in a little bit of trouble. Suns win 96-87.
Red Auerbach Would’ve Wasted A Cigar On This One. In an appropriate response to the criticism that he quit the other night, LeBron James led the Cavs back from a 19-point fourth quarter deficit against Boston. James finished with 38 points, including 19-of-23 shooting from the free-throw line. Cavs win, 94-93.
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