NFL Week Seven, Update #3

Continue Reading October 22nd, 2006

• Redskins 14, Colts 13. Not only did the people of Indianapolis have to deal with the fright of seeing Peyton Manning’s body’s body get bent in the opposite direction that Kenny Chesney usually bends it, but the Colts are losing to the underdog Redskins. Manning’s fine, I guess it’s not that big of a story… it’s just so rare that he’s hurt, or even takes a big hit. I’m impressed with the Redskins… it’s a must-win game against an excellent team, they’re big underdogs, and they’re responding. Color me surprised.

• Oakland 17, Arizona 3. Look at Art Shell, throwing his name into the Coach of the Year race. Even after fumbling on their first possession, the Raiders came back and unleashed a fury of Raider excellence onto the hapless Cardinals. Even Randy Moss is trying, hauling in a 32-yard TD catch from Andrew Walters. At least he was trying… he also has three pretty blatant drops, one of them in the endzone.

• Vikings 10, Seahawks 10. The Vikings signed Steve Hutchingon away from Seattle, Seattle wanted to keep him… I think the only really fair thing to do in a situation like that is to cut Steve Hutchinson in half. You could sew half of Hutchinson together with half of Anthony Herrera, and the Vikings would have a decent lineman, and the Seahawks could do the same the healthy portion of Pork Chop Womack. Then you take the other halfs of Herrera and Womack, sew them toether, and trade him to the Cardinals for a sixth rounder. Come on, science, make it happen.

NFL Scoreboard

NFL Week Seven, Update #2

Continue Reading October 22nd, 2006

• Buccaneers 23, Eagles 21. Tampa Bay kicker Matt Bryant has a leg like Tom Jones’s dick. Bryant hit a 62-yarder with no time left on the clock to give the Buccaneers the win, and actually put them on a little bit of a winning streak. Donovan McNabb threw for over 300 yards and three touchdowns, but also three interceptions… two of which were Ronde Barber touchdowns.

• Kansas City 30, San Diego 27. Lawrence Tynes is a superstar, too. With 10 seconds on the clock, he lined up for a 48-yarder, and made it. False start, Kansas City. Tynes again, this time from 53… and he converts it as well. When the Chargers get the schedule from now, they should just look for the day that says, “@ Kansas City” and mark it “forfeit.” Arrowhead tortures them.

• New England 28, Buffalo 6. New England stomped a mudhole in Buffalo, as I suspected they might. The highlight was a weird, feet-shuffling Chad Jackson touchdown dance that I really don’t know how to describe to you. Imagine Chad Johnson’s Riverdance, if he was drunk and wearing socks on a linoleum floor..

• Pittsburgh 38, Atlanta 38. I know I said I was pretty sure the Steelers were going to win ths one… but much of that confidence evaporated when Ben Roethlsiberger took a shot to the head that left him looking even more concussed than he usually does. He left in the second half, and didn’t come back. We’re heading to overtime.

NFL Scoreboard

For Some Guys, Lithuania Is The Promised Land

Continue Reading October 22nd, 2006

In the NBA, Tyrone Nesby is probably best known for being the crazy guy on Michael Jordan-led Washington Wizards team that was terrible, dysfunctional, and sad. His career, though, took him on a journey to Lithuania… and one small change of scenery was all Tyrone Nesby, roleplayer, needed to become T-Nes, balla extraordinaire.

JE Skeets at The Basketball Jones stumbled onto the T-Nes experience, and then passed the information along to Wizznutzz, and when Skeets and Wizznutzz collaborate… it’s made with bits of real panther, so you know it’s good. From Wizznutzz:

Now if you check from T-Než’s website, you see him relaxing in the Dnepr-Bug drainage basin aka Darius Songalia Memorial BLVD like he owns the damn place! and thats cuz he just about does because since T-Než has backing of powerful Lithuanian Mafia Seimos Lygino Asilas aka The Family of The Iron DOnkey and he is now like Vilinius’ Most Notorious, and he rolls through town with 24″ spinners on his Yugo, kicks it in his delux 300 sqft, 7 bedroom loft with its vaulted 6′ ceilings and tru cement floors, hes wearing top luxury goat skin trenchcoats with London Fog labels sewn inside, and he wont think not 2 seconds about dropping 4, even 5 euros, on VIP tab for fermented milk bottle service.

You can find T-Nes’s website (available in English and Lithuanian) here, where you can listen to his hip-hop stylings. And if you think T-Nes isn’t doing well with the Lithuanian ladies, then have a listen to “Music T-nes (If you dont know Englisch),” and then see what you think, mister.

Either the competition in basketball and rap isn’t as fierce in Lithuania as it is in the United States, or Tyrone Nesby has really stepped up his game.

Welcome To Nesby World! [The Basketball Jones]
SOmehting smells at Basketball Jones and its smells like Pultitzer! [Wizznutzz]
CD/ T-NES - Serious Business (2005) [MELOFANAS - Katalogas]
Nesby World

NFL Week Seven, Update #1

Continue Reading October 22nd, 2006

• Panthers 14, Bengals 7. Three touchdowns in the game, but none of them belong to Steve Smith or Chad Johnson. For Carolina, it’s been the electric Nick Goings and the human highlight reel, Kris Mangum. For the Bengals, it’s someone named “R. Kelly,” and I think hs first name is Reggie, but I’m not looking it up. I haven’t seen a highlight, but I have to assume he scored, and then gave the football and a golden shower to a young girl in the front row.

• Texans 10, Jaguars 0. The Texans are doing a very reasonable impression of an NFL team this week, leading the Jaguars 10-0 at the half. There was some question about Byron Leftwich’s health coming into the game, but he’s out there… sort of. He’s 5-of-11 for 53 yards, and the Texans have held the Jags to 8 carries and 25 yards. David Carr, meanwhile, looks like Warren Moon… actually, no, I guess that isn’t true. But he’s 17-of-23 for 165 yards and a touchdown.

• Pittsburgh 24, Atlanta 21. Look at these two high-flying offenses. Ben Roethlisberger is 15-of-20 for 235 yards and three touchdowns for the Steelers, who appear to be back, at least offensively. The Falcons pulled off a nifty little onsides kick, and converted it into a touchdown. It’s only a three point difference right now, but I’m pretty sure the Steelers are going to win this game.

NFL Scoreboard

Week 7 NFL Preview: Fox Finally Gets To Use Their Steve Hutchinson Cam

Continue Reading October 22nd, 2006

Vikings @ Seahawks. They’ve dubbed it the Steve Hutchinson Bowl, which might be the lamest and least-exciting name ever given to a game that isn’t actually a bowl game (I believe the Poulan Weedeater Bowl still trumps all). But while the name might be goofy, there appears to be something to it: the Sehawks ran for 4.7 yards a carry with Hutchinson last year, and are getting just 3.6 yards per carry this year without him. Also, I wonder if it bothers Matt Hasselbeck that he doesn’t have hair, while 53-year-old Brad Johnson does… unless Johnson is the first NFL quarterback to ever wear a toupee under his helmet, which very well could be the case.

Panthers @ Bengals. This is our last hope. It’s been a season completely devoid of worthwhile endzone celebrations, and if we don’t get one out of this game today, we’re not going to get one. Marvin Lewis and John Fox should get together before the game and come to some kind of a gentleman’s agreement, where they both agree to give up a touchdown to each other’s star wide receiver on their first possessions of the game, and then play it straight the rest of the way.

Steelers @ Falcons. This week has seen Michael Vick claim that he’s a great passer, and Ashley Lelie complain that the Falcons don’t throw to him enough. Soon, defensive tackle Grady Jackson will be complaining that the Falcons are misusing him by not taking of his talent for returning punts. An important game for two teams that appear to be heading in opposite directions.

Denver Broncos @ Cleveland Browns. The Broncos are the better team, but according to Quincy Morgan, the Browns are the bigger poonhounds. The game also marks the return of former Browns defensive linemen Gerard Warren, Kenard Lang, Mike Myers, and Ebenezer Ekuban to Cleveland, where I imagine someone will be curious about why they felt like dragging down the Browns franchise, and then turning Denver into one of the league’s best defenses.

NFL Scoreboard

Metareview - Tiger Woods PGA Tour 07 (360)

Continue Reading October 22nd, 2006

Filed under: Microsoft Xbox 360, Sports, Metareviews

Tiger Woods PGA Tour 07 hit the Xbox 360 this week to an overall review consensus that despite its updated visuals and career mode, the game largely remains the same. The title features six new courses, a revamped create a golfer mode, online tournaments with leaderboards, and 15 of the world’s top players, including the obvious Tiger Woods, John Daly, Vijay Singh, Ian Poulter, Michael Campbell, and Annika Sorenstam. With a current average review score of 81%, here is what the critics are saying:

• GameDaily 80% - “Delivers next-gen golf as it was intended, delivering realistic golf gameplay that challenges even the best players, the ability to create a golfer out of the blue, and a surprisingly robust online community loaded with events, tournaments, and ESPN Integration.”
• Games Radar 80% - “There are nits to pick, like having to hammer at buttons to bypass a predictable array of strolling animations, but Tiger Woods PGA Tour 07 is still slick as hell, and any golf enthusiast should be thrilled to bits with the depth of play to be had within.”
• 1UP 75% - “It just doesn’t feel that different the previous installments. But since those previous installments were good games, that’s not necessarily a bad thing. But publishers should stop holding content back from their next-gen sports games, especially when more full-featured versions are available at a cheaper price.”

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Metareview - Tiger Woods PGA Tour 07 (360)

Continue Reading October 22nd, 2006

Filed under: Microsoft Xbox 360, Sports, Metareviews

Tiger Woods PGA Tour 07 hit the Xbox 360 this week to an overall review consensus that despite its updated visuals and career mode, the game largely remains the same. The title features six new courses, a revamped create a golfer mode, online tournaments with leaderboards, and 15 of the world’s top players, including the obvious Tiger Woods, John Daly, Vijay Singh, Ian Poulter, Michael Campbell, and Annika Sorenstam. With a current average review score of 81%, here is what the critics are saying:

• GameDaily 80% - “Delivers next-gen golf as it was intended, delivering realistic golf gameplay that challenges even the best players, the ability to create a golfer out of the blue, and a surprisingly robust online community loaded with events, tournaments, and ESPN Integration.”
• Games Radar 80% - “There are nits to pick, like having to hammer at buttons to bypass a predictable array of strolling animations, but Tiger Woods PGA Tour 07 is still slick as hell, and any golf enthusiast should be thrilled to bits with the depth of play to be had within.”
• 1UP 75% - “It just doesn’t feel that different the previous installments. But since those previous installments were good games, that’s not necessarily a bad thing. But publishers should stop holding content back from their next-gen sports games, especially when more full-featured versions are available at a cheaper price.”

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Metareview - Tiger Woods PGA Tour 07 (360)

Continue Reading October 22nd, 2006

Filed under: Microsoft Xbox 360, Sports, Metareviews

Tiger Woods PGA Tour 07 hit the Xbox 360 this week to an overall review consensus that despite its updated visuals and career mode, the game largely remains the same. The title features six new courses, a revamped create a golfer mode, online tournaments with leaderboards, and 15 of the world’s top players, including the obvious Tiger Woods, John Daly, Vijay Singh, Ian Poulter, Michael Campbell, and Annika Sorenstam. With a current average review score of 81%, here is what the critics are saying:

• GameDaily 80% - “Delivers next-gen golf as it was intended, delivering realistic golf gameplay that challenges even the best players, the ability to create a golfer out of the blue, and a surprisingly robust online community loaded with events, tournaments, and ESPN Integration.”
• Games Radar 80% - “There are nits to pick, like having to hammer at buttons to bypass a predictable array of strolling animations, but Tiger Woods PGA Tour 07 is still slick as hell, and any golf enthusiast should be thrilled to bits with the depth of play to be had within.”
• 1UP 75% - “It just doesn’t feel that different the previous installments. But since those previous installments were good games, that’s not necessarily a bad thing. But publishers should stop holding content back from their next-gen sports games, especially when more full-featured versions are available at a cheaper price.”

Read | Permalink | Email this | Linking Blogs | Comments