Via Donning Craig Sager’s Suit comes a terrific four-second clip of NBA sideline report Craig Sager toasting a round of shots by saying, “Those aren’t Jager bombs, they’re Sager bombs!” Apparently this happened at Thunder Dan Majerle’s bar in Phoenix but, beyond that, I’m fuzzy on the details. I may have been there, can’t really say for sure. Regardless, this clip is awesome and reveals so much more about Sager than any brightly colored tie-jacket combination ever could.
As for the aforementioned Sager’s Suit, it’s a new NBA blog with a humorous slant. The name, look and tone make it a potential roundball version of what the fine fellows over at Kissing Suzy Kolber have been doing with the NFL for the past few months, so keep an eye on it.
“I have four names penciled in: Harold Carmichael, Henry Ellard, Michael Irvin and Andre Reed. If I’d have to predict which one will go all the way, I’d say Irvin. Art Monk again will provide spirited debate, for those of us who manage to remain awake throughout this old reprise. Please, Redskins fans, no e-mails at this particular time. Save ‘em for January.”
Was Irvin better than Monk? Maybe. He made a slightly more positive impact on the field but a far more negative one off of it. Reed? Similar to Monk save for the rings and the records. Carmichael? Ellard? Well, if you’re going to put those guys ahead of Monk then you might as well just vote with your gut, which, as Stephen Colbert will tell you, is obviously the most logical way to go.
Anyway, Dr. Z sounds tired of arguing about this, as am I, and you’re probably tired of hearing it. So, let’s drop it for now and leave you with this: If Thurman Thomas gets denied then Bills fans have every right to be as pissed off as I am.
They limit themselves to professional singers butchering the anthem, which disqualifies the brilliant and infamous warbling from Carl Lewis — whom we like to think of as “Sports’ Zoolander” — but it’s still an enjoyable smattering of YouTube goodness.
It’s hard, anyway, to come up with a solid list of awful singers than Scott Stapp, Michael Bolton and Jimmy Buffet … but hey, how’d Liz Phair get in there? Though Steven Tyler’s song to kick off the 2004 World Series did make us wonder whether, if possible, the city of Boston could give him back.
By the way, any predictions on singers this week? Maybe they’ll sneak Eminem into Comerica!
Like many of you, we suspect, we cannot wait for the new Borat movie, Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan. Therefore, we present this old Borat clip, as he visits a Savannah Sand Gnats minor league baseball game, with predictable results. No matter how cynical you may be, there’s something about the Kazakhstan National Anthem that kind of gets you, right here.
We’ve certainly had our share of fun over the year (singular) with the Knicks.
For a horrible team, they were unbelievably fun to follow last season, and we found ourself tuning in to at least part of almost every single Knicks game after the All-Star break.
Despite Isiah Thomas taking over as head coach, we can’t get quite as excited about this year’s edition.
You see, most people are predicting the same thing we are: the NYK are gonna be significantly better this year, especially since Glen Grunwald has been installed in the front office.
He’s friends with Zeke, which means there’s gonna be actual communication going on and fun stuff like that.
“He’ll be a great help,” Thomas said. “He and I have worked together in pressure situations before, on the court and off the court. He understands me and understands the game, we see it the same way. We trust each other. What he brings to the front office will be invaluable.”
Still, let’s not get too far ahead of ourself here.
Starbury and his $14 Wondershoes are still around, and he’s been talking pretty openly about the fact that Stevie Franchise was brought in last year to backdoor (!) him out of his starting position.
Knowing Steve, that’s gonna drive him to about 14 Paxils daily, which could affect his speed off the ball and shooting percentage. We say “off the ball” because we don’t anticipate Steph playing any “share the roundie” this season.
That could be good for something, as could Jalen Rose’s status of being in the last year of his contract - logic says he’s not coming back, and Zeke needs to play guys who are gonna be aorund longer-term.
Finally, the other thing to watch (besides Zeke sexual harrassment trial and blank sideline looks) is controversial first round pick Renaldo “Holy Shit” Balkman, who may or may not ever play. If he doesn’t we’re sitting on a killer t-shirt design that’ll never reach the iconic status it deserves.
NYC + MSG * (Starbury + Francis) + (Eddy Curry - Cake) - Larry Brown = more wins
Predicted Record: 38-44 MVP: Stephon Marbury Unsung Hero: “Pretty Boy” Jamaal Crawford Biggest Storyline: Good Isiah: keepie jobbie. Bad Isiah: losey jobbie. Medium Isiah: boring - dearest Zeus…please don’t let this happen, despite our prediction it will.
(These previews are merely our thoughts. If you need to know the intimate details of what this team did in the offseason, we recommend the NBA Blog Previews group blog thingie, or John Hollinger’s crazy, obsessively detailed training camp previews.)
Weigh-ins, as well as the official signing ceremony for the DEEP Featherweight Championship, were held today in DEEP’s official gym, IMPACT.
DEEP Featherweight Champion Masakazu Imanari failed to make weight the first try, exceeding the weight limit of 65 kilograms by 600 grams, or 0.6 kilograms. The challenger, Takeshi Yamazaki, made weight on the first try, coming in at 64.8 kilograms.Imanari himself made weight on his second try at 64.95 kilograms
In the signing ceremony, Saeki expressed his anticipation of the bout, citing the competitiveness of past DEEP title bouts. Yamazaki claimed to be feeling strong at the weight of 65 kilograms, as well of having developed a gameplan for Imanari’s notorious tactics with the aid of GRABAKA teammates Akihiro Gono, Sanae Kikuta, and Kazunori Yokota.
Imanari seemed to confident as well, despite admitting to not having watched footage of Yamazaki in preparation for the bout and speaking condescendingly of GRABAKA’s lack of submission technique outside of the armbar and a defensive guard. Tommorow night, history will allow us the opportunity to see if Imanari’s proverbial money is where his mouth is.
On a day they’ll talk about in Philadelphia for many years, the legendary lunatics that are Philly sports fans were in rare form yesterday for Terrell Owens’ return to the city of liberty. These are our personal favorite four photos of the many we were sent.
The Fanhouse and The 700 Level have some gorgeous ones too, though, as far as these matters go, we think it’s pretty tough to beat a pink Owens jersey with “Fistfull of pills up your ass!” scrawled on it.
It’s hard to believe, but the NBA season is just around the corner. Let us celebrate with five tiny tidbits on each team. Today we continue with the Southwest Division, so do us a favor and send us your tips at tips@deadspin.com.
• 1. Are You Ready To Mutoooom-boooo?. Possibly the greatest contribution to the game by Dikembe Mutombo may be the phrase, “Who wants to sex Mutombo?” To quote The Mighty MJD, “Dikembe walked into a Georgetown bar one night [in the early ’90s], the entire place stopped to look at him, and in response, Mutombo just yelled out, “WHO WANTS TO SEX MUTOMBO?!” There used to be a site dedicated to this that would post pics of Mutombo “sexing” different NBA players (you know, trying to get around Tim Duncan for a rebound or something), but, sadly, it has been taken down. The internets are worse off without it.
• 2. It’s Pat. The Rockets entered the NBA in 1967 as an expansion team based in San Diego, selecting Pat Riley with their first draft pick. They then went on to produce a then-NBA record 67-loss season.
• 3. Tall Tales. In former Newsweek editor and author Brook Larmer’s book Operation Yao Ming, he claims that as a child Yao was forced to play basketball by and for the Chinese government. Larmer also alleges that Yao’s father, 6-foot-10 Yao Zhiyuan, and mother, 6-2 Fang Fengdi, both national team basketball players, were, on retirement, “encouraged” to wed, with the aim of producing an extremely tall son.
• 4. The Sura With The Fringe On The Top. As a member of the Cleveland Cavaliers, Bob Sura was frequently mocked by Cleveland radio talk show host Mike Trivisonno for being the only male that he knew who had bangs and who combed them straight down, often with gel.
• 5. Music Is My Life. Bonzi Wells was mentioned in rapper Ghostface Killah’s song, “Biscuits”; with the verse, “I’m from a place where chunkheads and zombies dwell/And niggaz keep they heat blazin’ like Bonzi Wells.”
A clever little conceit for Championship Series week from our friends at 
It’s hard to believe, but the NBA season is just around the corner. Let us celebrate with five tiny tidbits on each team. Today we continue with the Southwest Division, so do us a favor and send us your tips at 
