Continue Reading June 22nd, 2006
I will be at the same beach where they filmed one of my all-time favorite guilty pleasures – Dawson’s Creek – for the next few days and am leaving you with this photo, courtesy of The Mighty MJD, which is simply beyond words…
The drunk face. That t-shirt. Her West Coast signs and his hoop earring. I love Dirk.
Continue Reading June 22nd, 2006
Our long national nightmare is over: Roger Clemens is back. How did we ever make it so long without him? His “return,” obviously, would have a little more resonance if he had, you know, ever left, but whatever. He’s back. Playing the Twins. We hope Bat Girl comes up with a Lego version of him.
You’re asking: Hey, is there any way we could follow along with Clemens the way that ESPN cuts in on him? Of course you can! It’s the Web! Off the Baggie will be live-blogging the game, and hopefully they’ll capture all the B12 excitement.
Remember, everyone: Christ himself has come down from the mountaintop and is allowing you to watch him pitch. Please, do try to look appreciative.
Roger Returns [MLB.com]
Joe Mauer And Some Pitcher Guy [Off the Baggie]
Continue Reading June 22nd, 2006
Hey, so here’s a fun trick.
The tech geniuses at Slashdot point out that with certain PDF articles, you can cut text that has been blacked out and just paste it in a Word document, easily seeing what was blacked out.
How does this affect the sports world? Well, in the BALCO case, the government redacted several sections from his court filing in the leak case. They don’t want you to see certain sections about emails between the Game Of Shadows authors and Victor Conte. But all you gotta do is use this trick, explained to us by a reader:
On the Adobe Reader toolbar, going left to right, you’ve got Save, Print, Email, Search, and a hand for the hand tool, and this is highlighted because it’s the default for Reader. Immediately to the right of the hand is the text select tool. Click that, and now you can select the redaacted portions as if it was regular text (because it is still regular text). Now right click the portions you highlighted to copy and then paste into Notepad, Word, or whatever.
It works, too. Kind of fun.
And before you ask: It doesn’t work with the Grimsley document.
More PDF Blackout Follies [Slashdot]
BALCO Quash Subpeona [San Francisco Chronicle]
Continue Reading June 22nd, 2006
For all those who said a U-Haul truck couldn’t make a daredevil style jump over Arco Arena, well lookee lookee.
SacTown Royalty runs down all the new coaching assistants for the Kings.
The combo of making up trades and hyping foreign prospects makes this predraft time the best 6 days of Chad Ford’s year.
If you’re looking for something to do, you newer people could go read our old Peja Stojakovic fan-fiction. Might be a good reference, y’know, sometime for something. Possibly. (Make sure to start at the bottom at Part 1.)
Sorry we’re all short today on the EXPLOSIONS, but we just can’t get all that into reading about draft workouts. We get excited only when there are moves being made with actual NBA players, or when people are shaking David Stern’s hand.
Continue Reading June 22nd, 2006
Excellent conceit from excellent Golden State Warriors blog today: A look at what we’ll be saying about upcoming NBA Draft prospects in 2010.
We have two favorites. First is the description of possible No. 1 pick Andrea Bargnani, who has been compared to Dirk Nowitzki but comes across more like Marcel Lampe (or “Darko Jr.”) here. The other: Why, J.J. Redick, obviously.
Where Are They Now? J.J. Redick. The former Blue Devil had set an ACC record for points during his four year college career, and after being drafted by the Houston Rockets in 2006, was unable to produce consistently. The Rockets hoped that Redick would act as insurance in case Tracy McGrady was unable to recover from the injuries he suffered in the 2005-6 season, but Redick couldn’t shoot and McGrady couldn’t play a game without clutching at his back. J.J. was a fantastic scorer in college, but that can be attributed to the fact he wasn’t facing the longer, quicker players in the NBA. Without the ability to score at a high level, he simply faded away. Redick, who now works at Home Depot, did not return a call.
Oh, like you wouldn’t hang out at that Home Depot all the time.
What They’ll Be Saying About The Class Of 2006, Part I [The City]
(By the way, we want to emphasize this: We do not hate Duke. We’ve been accused of this, and it’s not true. It’s just impossible not to make fun of JJ Redick, Coach K, Chris Collins, WoJo, Christian Laettner … oh, we don’t need to go on, do we?)
Continue Reading June 22nd, 2006
Excellent conceit from excellent Golden State Warriors blog today: A look at what we’ll be saying about upcoming NBA Draft prospects in 2010.
We have two favorites. First is the description of possible No. 1 pick Andrea Bargnani, who has been compared to Dirk Nowitzki but comes across more like Marcel Lampe (or “Darko Jr.”) here. The other: Why, J.J. Redick, obviously.
Where Are They Now? J.J. Redick. The former Blue Devil had set an ACC record for points during his four year college career, and after being drafted by the Houston Rockets in 2006, was unable to produce consistently. The Rockets hoped that Redick would act as insurance in case Tracy McGrady was unable to recover from the injuries he suffered in the 2005-6 season, but Redick couldn’t shoot and McGrady couldn’t play a game without clutching at his back. J.J. was a fantastic scorer in college, but that can be attributed to the fact he wasn’t facing the longer, quicker players in the NBA. Without the ability to score at a high level, he simply faded away. Redick, who now works at Home Depot, did not return a call.
Oh, like you wouldn’t hang out at that Home Depot all the time.
What They’ll Be Saying About The Class Of 2006, Part I [The City]
(By the way, we want to emphasize this: We do not hate Duke. We’ve been accused of this, and it’s not true. It’s just impossible not to make fun of JJ Redick, Coach K, Chris Collins, WoJo, Christian Laettner … oh, we don’t need to go on, do we?)
Continue Reading June 22nd, 2006
It hath been done.
Larry Brown is fired; Isiah Thomas is head coach of the New York Knicks, opening the door for a drama-filled 06-07, and the most interesting draft night crowd in NBA history.
Will the building explode as the Bulls use the Knicks selection? “Fire Zeke” chants? Big signs that say “Wow, the Knicks are quite interesting in a circusy way!” Owner James Dolan and the man of the hour weigh in.
“Larry has had a long and storied career. We hired him last summer with the expectation that he would be with the Knicks for a long time. Sometimes decisions work and sometimes they don’t,” Dolan said.
“No one in our organization is happy with last season and we all accept responsibility for our performance. … Today begins the 2006-07 season for the Knicks, and I strongly believe we are on the right track to take major steps in our rebuilding process to achieve our goal of being one of the premier teams in the NBA,” Thomas said.
Don’t forget this important fact - Isiah’s a horrible GM, but lost in all this is he’s also a horrible coach! Seriously, look at him already. He thinks the season starts today! It doesn’t start until November!
The best part about this, at least for the summer, should be Larry’s strange and/or bitter statements, and there’s no way they’re not imminent. The man loves drama too much, plus there aren’t any other jobs out there for him.
Enjoy this, everyone. The Knicks have just solidified another entire season of glee for everyone except their fans.
(Zeke officially gets his own category today - we need to go bacak and rearchive the old stuff.)
UPDATE: ESPN.com says that David Stern is arbitrating the buyout due to a clause in the contract. We don’t even know why that’s funny, but it is.
Continue Reading June 22nd, 2006
Last night, before yet another brutal pasting of the Cardinals — hey, look, the White Sox just put another 10-spot on the board, and it’s only noon! — White Sox manager Ozzie Guillen apologized for his reference to Chicago Sun-Times and “Around The Horn” “reporter” Jay Mariotti as a “fag,” but not to Mariotti, saying, “Nobody likes that man here. I don’t care what he thinks about me. Jerry [Reinsdorf] talked to me and said I should [think] about the word I used. [But Mariotti] is a piece of garbage, he always has been garbage and always will be garbage.”
Taking the high road, Mariotti calls for Guillen to be suspended for two weeks in his column today, painting Guillen as a loose cannon (which is probably true) and himself as a beacon for responsible journalism and advocacy (which is … BWAHhahaahahahaaha!!!!!).
Guillen obviously made a mistake in his choice of words, and his apology — to those he offended — was probably warranted. Therefore, to make sure that Guillen’s next tirade against Mariotti does not end in an apology, we helpfully offer this list of perfectly acceptable and accurate names for Ozzie Guillen to call Jay Mariotti in the future.
• “Douchebag.”
• “Asshead.”
• “Jerkoff.”
• “Dingleberry.”
• “Fartknocker.”
• “Fucktard.”
Actually: We suggest “Fucktard.” That one just feels right.
Sensitivity The Issue, Guillen The Problem [Chicago Sun-Times]
Your Gay Sports News Roundup [Deadspin]
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