Well, if you’re not too busy waving David Hasselhoff masks like a maniac, you should certainly be intrigued by tonight’s NBA Finals Game 3. The Heat obviously have to win, and the game is perhaps as important to Shaquille O’Neal’s legacy as it is to Pat Riley and the rest of the Heat. Even Dwyane Wade’s got everything on the line tonight; as Free Darko puts it, “this is presumptive NBA royalty coming up bloated and humiliated.”
This is all a long way of saying that if the Heat lose tonight, everyone’s going to completely stop paying attention unless somebody comes up with a DUI or crashes his motorcycle. It would be difficult not to.
And we’ll know pretty quick, we suspect: If Mark Cuban is already blogging at halftime about “the boys looking good” — or, more accurately, “teh boyss loking good” — then this thing’s all wrapped up.
Thanks to reader Ryan for tipping us off to the cool dudes and ladies at Miami’s 790 the Ticket, who are hooking up the good people of South Beach with the thing to your left.
Here are your instructions if you’re holding a David Hasselhoff Fan Face, according to the station.
Dallas Maverick’s All-Star Dirk Nowitzki is a fan
(not a Face Fan, but a Hasselhoff Fan).
In fact, Dirk hums Hasselhoff music to himself while on the free-throw line.
(What? You didn’t know David Hasselhoff made music? Well, he does, and German people love it. They also love sauerkraut, so what does that tell you?)
We figure that maybe if you wave these face fans at Dirk (especially while he’s on the free-throw line), he’ll become so excited about Hasselhoff, he’ll miss his shot.
(It may be a stretch, but if you waved Lindsay Lohan at us, we’d get a little jittery).
So work on Dirk, wave your Hasselhoff…who knows, you may be helping the Heat win a championship.
We’re not sure we understand. Are they mocking David Hasselhoff? Is there something funny about the man? In all honesty, after watching the Looking For Freedom video yesterday, we were obviously reminded of Knight Rider, Baywatch, and the classic Hooked on a Feeling video, which is below and we’ve shown here before.
The fully realized truth is we love everything the man does. Not in like a kitchy way, either.
We think we watched that for an hour straight once. We do have a lot of German in our blood, so there you go.
If the Heat don’t come through with a win tonight and end up down 0-3, this Finals is over - revolutionary statement, right there from the YAY.
Others are writing their potential dramatic endings, like Miami’s own Ira WInderman, who thinks Dwyane Wade could do some rethinking on signing a big extention this summer when he becomes eligible.
What if Shaquille O’Neal is getting old in a hurry? What if the perimeter bent of the game somewhat has passed Pat Riley by? What if Antoine Walker and Jason Williams are as good as the supporting cast is going to get?
Two weeks ago, Wade said he wanted to ride the ride as long as possible with O’Neal. As difficult as the past two games have been, what about enduring five more years of the same?
This doesn’t get us quite as riled up as when they say it about LeBron, but our conclusion is exactly the same. It starts with “Everyone signs the extention” and ends with “Nobody else can pay him more money”.
In the middle is the ever-challenging question of where the hell else would he go?
Dwyane’s a little young to take the vet’s minimum and ride shotgun with Tim Duncan, isn’t he? Look, guys like Wade and Bron are best served by leading their own teams to a title - otherwise they just become Vince and T-Mac. Why people want to force two of the best young players in the NBA’s history into that category, we have no idea.
Wade’s signing this summer. By definition, there’s only one team better than the Heat right now at this moment. If they need to rebuild around Wade in a year or two - it’s not a problem to unload Shaq, and certainly Toine, onto the Knicks, anyway.
[Perez] stopped his O’s 45’s program, in which he bought 45 tickets for inner-city school children to attend his starts, after losing his starting job. He said he would not reinstate the program now that he is starting again because he felt he never got enough credit from the club or the public for his charitable contributions.
“When you spend your own money you want to be recognized for that,” Perez said. “I don’t want to be a hero, but just pay more attention to what I’m doing. People don’t want to give me the recognition for it.”
You know what? We actually find this somewhat refreshing. For all the athletes who talk about all the charity work they do but aren’t looking for publicity for it — while of course telling us all about it — here’s one who makes no bones about it: He does charity work for the good publicity, and if he doesn’t get the good publicity, he’s not doing it. There’s a consistency there that we admire. And besides, kids: You don’t want Dodger tickets anyway. The beer is never cold enough.
The reaction to Ben Roethlisberger’s motorcycle accident isn’t yet approaching Barbaro proportions — he’s not a loveable racehorse, after all — but it’s up there. Aside from multiple facial fractures — which were repaired successfully, according to surgeons — Roethlisberger seems to have escaped other major injury, and there’s already talk of a six- to eight-week recovery period. Actually, doctors’ biggest fears were that he’d end up looking like Jack Lambert (sorry, it’s a defense mechanism. Because we care).
The recovery period for the Steeler Nation may be longer, however. The first sign that Steelers’ fans were taking this hard came with the news that hundreds of people were holding vigil outside of the hospital during the surgery. And being Steelers fans, of course, some had brought with them portable grills. This is absolutely true; Roethlisberger’s seven-hour surgery provided yet another opportunity for Steelers’ fans to do a little tailgating.
“Get your Big Ben towel-holding surgical forceps here! Official forceps of the Big Ben surgical team!”
Fans are also flooding the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette and Roethlisberger’s personal blog with good wishes for a speedy recovery, as should be expected. But at the same time, many are royally P.O.ed at Ben, because, as we know, he wasn’t wearing a helmet. And that’s causing quite a stir. Some reaction to that after the jump.
(UPDATE: Doctors say the injuries are only on Roethlisberger’s face and that he’ll be ready to play by Week 1. Lucky fella, that guy.)
I think you’re one of the greatest players in the NFL now, but your refusal to wear a helmet is, honestly, a slap in the face to the thousands of people who’ve been seriously injured in motorcycle accidents. — Tyler.
– Ben Roethlisberger Blog.
I’m pretty upset with you right now, but that has to slide for the time being.
All I’m going to say is that you have to remember that it’s not only the automobiles that are recalled by their makers.
You can be as careful as ever, but that doesn’t mean that everyone else always is.
Now we’ve both learned the hard way that we have to choose our battles wisely, head vs. car and/or head vs. pavement is not exactly the fairest of match ups. — Posted by: Tatiana
– Ben Roethlisberger Blog.
I HAVE to curse our state (Pa) for their choice of making helmets optional?????) I cringe EVERYTIME I see someone on a motorcycle without a helmet (sick of hearing that one yet????).. — Brenda
– Ben Roethlisberger Blog.
We all love you and care to much about you to see you get hurt again so please wear a helmet! I know i can’t make you but i hope you will quit putting yourself in danger, but like i said your in my thoughts and prayers and i hope you recover fast. i think today is the longest time i’ve ever watched the news but it was worth it. — Amber.
– Ben Roethlisberger Blog.
There should be no sympathy for him. He had a choice. Not that he deserves it, but that’s what happens. It’s like if you’re a kid and you stick your finger in a socket. Lesson learned. — Rory Bernhard.
– from Pittsburgh Post-Gazette
Any football player should take it upon himself to not put himself in a situation where he could put himself in harm. Because it’s not just affecting him, it’s affecting his teammates. [Mr. Roethlisberger’s] actions can adversely affect the whole Steelers organization. It comes down to a level of personal responsibility … I think it’s so stupid he has to be on a motorcycle. — Kevin Woodward.
– Pittsburgh Post-Gazette.
Everyone’s talking about this, not soccer. I just don’t get it. I don’t get it. — Kara Laux.
– Pittsburgh Post-Gazette.
The reaction to Ben Roethlisberger’s motorcycle accident isn’t yet approaching Barbaro proportions — he’s not a loveable racehorse, after all — but it’s up there. Aside from multiple facial fractures — which were repaired successfully, according to surgeons — Roethlisberger seems to have escaped other major injury, and there’s already talk of a six- to eight-week recovery period. Actually, doctors’ biggest fears were that he’d end up looking like Jack Lambert (sorry, it’s a defense mechanism. Because we care).
The recovery period for the Steeler Nation may be longer, however. The first sign that Steelers’ fans were taking this hard came with the news that hundreds of people were holding vigil outside of the hospital during the surgery. And being Steelers fans, of course, some had brought with them portable grills. This is absolutely true; Roethlisberger’s seven-hour surgery provided yet another opportunity for Steelers’ fans to do a little tailgating.
“Get your Big Ben towel-holding surgical forceps here! Official forceps of the Big Ben surgical team!”
Fans are also flooding the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette and Roethlisberger’s personal blog with good wishes for a speedy recovery, as should be expected. But at the same time, many are royally P.O.ed at Ben, because, as we know, he wasn’t wearing a helmet. And that’s causing quite a stir. Some reaction to that after the jump.
(UPDATE: Doctors say the injuries are only on Roethlisberger’s face and that he’ll be ready to play by Week 1. Lucky fella, that guy.)
I think you’re one of the greatest players in the NFL now, but your refusal to wear a helmet is, honestly, a slap in the face to the thousands of people who’ve been seriously injured in motorcycle accidents. — Tyler.
— Ben Roethlisberger Blog.
I’m pretty upset with you right now, but that has to slide for the time being.
All I’m going to say is that you have to remember that it’s not only the automobiles that are recalled by their makers.
You can be as careful as ever, but that doesn’t mean that everyone else always is.
Now we’ve both learned the hard way that we have to choose our battles wisely, head vs. car and/or head vs. pavement is not exactly the fairest of match ups. — Posted by: Tatiana
— Ben Roethlisberger Blog.
I HAVE to curse our state (Pa) for their choice of making helmets optional?????) I cringe EVERYTIME I see someone on a motorcycle without a helmet (sick of hearing that one yet????).. — Brenda
— Ben Roethlisberger Blog.
We all love you and care to much about you to see you get hurt again so please wear a helmet! I know i can’t make you but i hope you will quit putting yourself in danger, but like i said your in my thoughts and prayers and i hope you recover fast. i think today is the longest time i’ve ever watched the news but it was worth it. — Amber.
— Ben Roethlisberger Blog.
There should be no sympathy for him. He had a choice. Not that he deserves it, but that’s what happens. It’s like if you’re a kid and you stick your finger in a socket. Lesson learned. — Rory Bernhard.
— from Pittsburgh Post-Gazette
Any football player should take it upon himself to not put himself in a situation where he could put himself in harm. Because it’s not just affecting him, it’s affecting his teammates. [Mr. Roethlisberger’s] actions can adversely affect the whole Steelers organization. It comes down to a level of personal responsibility … I think it’s so stupid he has to be on a motorcycle. — Kevin Woodward.
— Pittsburgh Post-Gazette.
Everyone’s talking about this, not soccer. I just don’t get it. I don’t get it. — Kara Laux.
— Pittsburgh Post-Gazette.
We’ve never been one to pile on Duke players not named Boozer, basically because we don’t know anything about the guys until David Stern shakes hands with them on the podium.
That said, even we are familiar with JJ Redick - it was hard not to be, considering how badly everyone supposedly hates him. Now that he’s in the NBA Draft, he’s all ours, and since he got a DUI last night - let’s go ahead and join the fun.
According to the police report, the arrest occurred at 1:03 a.m. in the 100-block of McQueen Drive in Durham.
The police report indicates Redick made an illegal U-turn to avoid a license checkpoint. The officer followed Redick’s car, pulled him over and reported a strong smell of alcohol on Redick’s breath. The officer also described Redick’s eyes as “very glassy” during the stop.
One must naturally wonder if this affects his draft stock. If he were a top 5 guy, no worries, but some wonder whether JJ will be able to stick in the league at all.
Not that NBA players don’t get DUIs - we’d guess 75% of the league has them, if not 143%, which isn’t even possible. It’s just that usually they wait until they’re actually in the NBA, and most guys don’t have the “clean-cut white kid from Duke” stamp, either. What we’re saying is you don’t want to give a team who’s wondering a reason to disregard you. Soccer mommish fans get angry when you draft kids with DUIs.
Let’s sort through the details - he was going home at 1am, he was alone, and his eyes were “very sassy”. That translates to disloyal to your teammates, inability to pick up any girls, and his eyes were “very sassy”.
Well, if you’re not too busy waving David Hasselhoff masks like a maniac, you should certainly be intrigued by tonight’s NBA Finals Game 3. The Heat obviously have to win, and the game is perhaps as important to Shaquille O’Neal’s legacy as it is to Pat Riley and the rest of the Heat. Even Dwyane Wade’s got everything on the line tonight; as Free Darko puts it, “this is presumptive NBA royalty coming up bloated and humiliated.”
Thanks to reader Ryan for tipping us off to the cool dudes and ladies 
If the Heat don’t come through with a win tonight and end up down 0-3, this Finals is over - revolutionary statement, right there from the YAY.
You know who’s a charming guy? 
The reaction to Ben Roethlisberger’s motorcycle accident isn’t yet approaching Barbaro proportions — he’s not a loveable racehorse, after all — but it’s up there. Aside from multiple facial fractures — which were repaired successfully, according to surgeons — Roethlisberger seems to have escaped other major injury, and there’s already talk of a six- to eight-week recovery period. Actually, doctors’ biggest fears were that he’d end up looking like Jack Lambert (sorry, it’s a defense mechanism. Because we care).
We’ve never been one to pile on Duke players not named Boozer, basically because we don’t know anything about the guys until David Stern shakes hands with them on the podium. 
As we revisit the circumstances of 