Continue Reading May 2nd, 2006
By Zach Arnold
Tomorrow, Rob Sayers & I will do a quick preview of the 5/5 Osaka Dome show. We’ll go over the last-minute line-ups, the arrival of fighters in Japan, the media coverage, the circumstances surrounding the booking of the show and money, plus we’ll keep our eyes on whether or not Yosuke Nishijima […]
Continue Reading May 2nd, 2006
Welterweight contender Diego “Nightmare” Sanchez and Canada’s own John “The Natural” Alessio are set to square off on the undercard at UFC 60 on May 27th at STAPLES Center in Los Angeles California. The two were originally slotted to rumble at UFC 58 …
Continue Reading May 2nd, 2006
Prepare for an onslaught of “Kobe Bryant picked the perfect time to become a mentor to the young guys on the team” jokes.
Kwame Brown is under investigation for sexual assault. Now, we claimed long ago that Kwame was a creepy weirdo, but we had no idea it was actually true, so the most important aspect of this whole thing is that we might be psychic.
“The assault is alleged to have occurred in the early morning hours of April 29,” said Officer Jason Lee, a police spokesman.
The case is under investigation by the department’s Robbery Homicide Division. Police have notified the district attorney’s office of the investigation.
What’s cooler, that there’s another Laker storyline to follow, or that the star of My Name is Earl is helping investigate the case?
Lost in all of the sexual, celebrity, and psychic revelations in this case is the fact that a girl might have been raped, so if you laughed at any of this post, you should be ashamed of yourself and donate additional dollars to Who Shot Mamba?.
Continue Reading May 2nd, 2006
By David Ditch
It’s difficult to keep abreast of events that span industries (wrestling/MMA), continents (Asia/North America) and years all at the same time. Different narratives weave around each other. The events of the past week involving New Japan and Brock Lesnar highlight these difficulties. It takes someone with a borderline-obsessive thirst for wrestling news to […]
Continue Reading May 2nd, 2006
For those of you who haven’t quite had your fill of Doug Mirabelli, Knuckleball Savior, we gleefully present a brilliant thread on the infamous Sons Of Sam Horn board, in which a poster, inspired by an old posting, imagines what most have been going through the he-man mind of Mirabelli as he made his way from the Padres to Fenway Park.
7:02 am PDT: Awoken at home by phone call from Kevin Towers. Learns he’s traded to Boston. Calls Towers a pickle smoker and tells him San Diego is for pussies anyway.
7:05: Takes 40 naked cuts in front of a mirror.
7:07: Packs a duffel bag with 10 tank tops, 5 pairs of tight jeans, and no underwear. Announces “Dougie’s going commando” to no one in particular.
7:08: Kills it.
7:10: Calls Wake, tells him “Dougie’s going deep tonight!” Wake says it’s getting dusty in here. Dougie calls him a pantywaist.
7:15: Takes cologne shower. Uses Stetson.
Man, we should have learned how to catch a knuckleball. We might have been manlier.
Doug’s Game Day Diary [Sons Of Sam Horn]
Continue Reading May 2nd, 2006
It’s not just us, right? This year’s playoffs are the best in years, correct?
We’re perfectly willing to admit the Cavaliers being in has us extra excited, but we are fans of the NBA as a whole, and we can’t remember being this captivated since the last time Michael Jordan had a Bulls uni on.
Even then, it was to see history, not to watch every single game we can, Mavs/Griz/Pistons/Bucks aside.
That said, we were hoping to catch an off day where maybe there weren’t any games. That won’t be today - four games on the schedule, all of which are essential viewing. TrueHoop is doing a liveblog of the full schedule, and John Hollinger is explaining why the all-new Kobe Bryant isn’t the real reason the Lakers are up 3-1.
The answer comes down to second shots. Phoenix was the worst offensive rebounding team in basketball this season, recovering only 22.2 percent of its missed shots. At that level, the Suns still did so many other things well that they still could have the best offense in the league.
But against the Lakers, Phoenix has failed to approach even the low standard it set in the regular season. The Suns are rebounding only 13.4 percent of their missed shots, grabbing a pathetic 21 offensive boards the entire series.
Y’know, we like John Hollinger’s work. The whole PER and all the other stuff we don’t understand is fun, because it reminds us how we’re not smart, and that other people are smarter, and also have more intelligence.
That said, one must wonder if he’s actually watched the games, or if he’s just running numbers, ’cause there’s a lot more going on that PHX not hitting the offensive boards. The Suns are shooting 43% or something - doesn’t that mean they should have 43% more rebounds to get that they aren’t getting, anyway? Multiply that by pi and divide by math, and you get 7, which is how many games are in the series. Karma, baby.
So what are we doing for the games? Nothing special, just making out with girls. We’re going to make out with them and be like “mmmmm…oh yeah, I like to kiss you so much, MMMMMM…” You laugh, but try it next time you’re making out with someone - it works. It might not get the reaction you want, but you’ll surely be remembered. Ladies, that goes for you, too.
Continue Reading May 2nd, 2006
Seattle Sea Gals member Deanna Raihl used to weigh a deuce, deuce-and-a-half before having an epiphany in a McDonald’s, losing 120 pounds, becoming a professional cheerleader and getting profiled on “Good Morning America.” There’s hope for us all …
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