Dr. Richard Kimble wrecked the Super Bowl

Continue Reading February 5th, 2006

An awesome medleyYou can read plenty about how badly the Seahawks screwed themselves repeatedly or how Bill Cowher’s back is now monkeyless elsewhere.

You can go see all the commercials on Google, and we really don’t want to pontificate much about the Pittsburgh Steelers winning anything.

What we do want to discuss is the team-up we never thought we’d see in our lives - Dr. Seuss and Harrison Ford. This was so off-setting we nearly said so out loud. We didn’t want to upset the party, so we kept it to ourselves and instead made a casual comment about how clean the floor looked.

This actually made things worse - we heard someone across the room whisper to the person next to them, “he’s trying to avoid talking about Harrison Ford.” Eye contact was made, and we were accused of being an eavesdropper. We don’t stand for that kind of thing, so naturally a fistfight broke out.

We won the fistfight, then went home. Problem - we were Tivo-ing the game, and were again confronted with an awkward, thickly goateed Harrison Ford reciting Oh, the Places You’ll Go!. If you didn’t see it, there was lots of being-hunched-over and strained enthusiasm/joy, which Indy lost the ability to emote in 1992. He was also green-screened into a cartoon background at various depths.

The only other observation we have on the game is about the Rolling Stones, who swore apparently. One - we young kids like medleys. If you’re going to roll out a bunch of old men to sing at us, at least do a medley. Two - putting the Rolling Stones out there turns off the young people and reminds the old people that they’ve gotten old.

It’d be like if in 2030 we were watching an old Naughty By Nature doing “O.P.P”. Even thinking about that makes us feel really bad for the parents.

Oh, yeah - go Browns!!!

The NFL has a Super Bowl Blog

Continue Reading February 5th, 2006

We’re guessing Paul Tagliabue and a bunch of old guys were sitting around prepping for the Super Bowl, and one of them said something like “I hear blogs are big with the kids these days.” Then Paul scratched his chin, mumbled a few things, and BAM - you get the NFL’s Official Super Bowl Blog.

It’s hosted by the dynamic Gil Brandt, who was obviously told that for blogs you just “write about what you did today.” Hense this great entry titled “Game Day Is Here.”

I left the hotel at 1:30 p.m. on the media bus and it took 45 minutes to get to the press box because there’s so much traffic this early in the day. Thank goodness there was no snow storm — the weather is really nice. It’s a sunny, cold day. The stadium is absolutely great. The Seahawks bench is across from the press box and the Steelers are on the near side. The end-zone markings look like no one has been walking on it.

He also says that Steelers fans are everywhere, and that’s all.

Now, Gil was VP of Player Personnel for the Dallas Cowboys for almost 30 years, so there’s no reason he can’t be a skilled blogger. He just need to pick up a couple skills like not being boring and writing about more interesting things. Also, if he were to compose blog posts that were fun to read that’d be good. Finally, if he could simply create blog content that was compelling, he’d be all set.

This may sound elitist, but you need to understand that we’re really elitist and not very smart. Go read the Super Bowl Blog - it’ll change your life.