Archive for January, 2006
Continue Reading January 24th, 2006
Could this be just a cruel joke played on the media? This story seems too ridiculous to be true. Joshua Vannoy, a 17-year old high school student in Beaver Falls, PA was singled out by his teacher during a midterm exam in his ethnicity class. The teacher, John Kelly, forced Vannoy to sit on the floor, ridiculed him as a “stinkin’ Denver fan” and had other students throw crumpled paper at him. Kelly’s defense? Vannoy didn’t get the joke.
“If he felt uncomfortable, then that’s a lesson; that’s what [the class] is designed to do,” Kelly told The Denver Post. “It was silly fun. I can’t believe he was upset.”
Vannoy was wearing a No. 7 Broncos jersey on Friday, because he is a fan of John Elway, the Broncos’ retired Hall of Fame quarterback.
“I’m going to have to deal with him for two more nine weeks [school quarters] and he’s going to want revenge somehow,” Vannoy said Monday. “I took the test. I’m shaking. I’m furious. I didn’t know what to do.” (Read)
Could Vannoy have shown a ittle more resolve and sucked it up? Sure, maybe a little. But that doesn’t excuse his teacher for acting like a complete and total asshole. John Kelly, yes you: You’re just a dumb Pittsburgh meathead.
Continue Reading January 23rd, 2006
I realize that British soccer hooligans are not known for being the most intelligent bunch in the world; okay, from what I’ve heard, they’re basically lucky to function in society. But this really takes the cake. Some British fans have recently been warned that they will be banned for wearing replica Nazi Stormtrooper helmets during games.
The white plastic helmets, styled on Second World War German uniforms, are being mass-produced in Holland and have a red-and-white Cross of St George and the words “No one likes us” printed on them.
White Nazi stormtrooper helmet for the World Cup
The Dutch manufacturers, which have so far sold more than 100,000 of the helmets to their own fans, claimed that they were to be worn “just as a joke”.
But last night German football and international police authorities did not see the funny side and said it is a criminal offence in Germany to publicly display Nazi memorabilia. (Read)
Continue Reading January 23rd, 2006
Only pranks on your friends who dozed off from watching the game can make this year’s Super Bowl fun
In the second least sexiest Super Bowl match-up possible (Denver vs. Seattle being no. 1), the Pittsburgh Steelers will take on the Seattle Seahawks in Shitter Bowl XL. It’s called karma, and the league will get what it deserves for the atrocious refereeing during this year’s playoffs—the lowest rated Super Bowl, ratings wise, in decades. Hell, we cared more about a deadly snake dropping a TO on the Raptors last night than we did about the outcome of the championship games.
Neither the new Janet Jackson nor Justin Timberlake’s nipple can save this crapfest. How weird is it that we’re looking forward to the Pro Bowl more than we are the Super Bowl, and the Pro Bowl’s played in Canada or Sudan or somewhere. The worst thing about this year’s game will be the incessant hype ESPN et al. will give it. It will be two solid weeks of questions such as “What type of toilet paper do you use before the game?” and “Have you ever drank out of your cup before?”
Our only hope is that both teams can somehow manage to lose the game. Then and only then will we think that SB XL was worth it.
Continue Reading January 18th, 2006
This time it’s just water…Contrary to many reports, the NFL season still has three games left—the AFC championship game, the NFC championship game, and something called the Super Bowl. After Mike Vand’ohjagt, whose idol growing up ironically was Steve Christie, maintained his status as the league’s least clutch kicker or UnVinatieri for short, we thought the season was over because all of the interesting teams flew home for the winter. The only teams left are one that could be from either North or South Carolina (they don’t specify), one team from the state where Pearl Jam’s from, one whose coach has actually tripped over his own jaw before, and one from the Rockies that has a hobo as their quarterback.
The fact that nobody cares about the rest of the season hasn’t stopped the media from hyping up these crapfests worse than Marky Mark used to hype his stuffed jock strap. First we have CBS Sportsline’s Pete Prisco with the “these games have plenty of intrigue” bit. Thanks for the pep talk Pete! Then there’s ESPN’s Gene Wojciechowski. He admits that the games aren’t quite as sexy as the new Janet Jackson, but he’s attracted to them nonetheless. Good heavens, if he thinks that JJ is still as sexy as she was on Good Times, we’d hate to see who Gene W ends up w/ after a drunken night of revelry.
The point is that no one cares. A Super Bowl of Denver versus Seattle will be a snoozefest that no one will watch because neither of those cities is even in the United States. The only thing we can look forward to is despite being down 91-1 late in the fourth quarter, Jake Plummer’s beard will run the ball up the middle and be tackled by Shaun Alexander’s wife just before it scores a meaningless touchdown. Then in a moment of confusion, instead of the normal Gatorade shower that the winning coach receives from his team, the Seahawk players accidentally dump a bucket of vomit on Mike Holmgren’s head, making for a very disgusting post game celebration.
Continue Reading January 16th, 2006
A STAR IS BORN, it’s tempting to say after watching Bulgarian teenager Tszvetana Pironkova take out Venus Williams, 2-6 6-0 9-7, in the first round of the Australian Open. Then again, we’ve seen plenty of girls pull upsets and fade into women’s tennis’…
Continue Reading January 15th, 2006
Recently, Jim Cornette took part in Ring of Honor’s Secrets of the Ring– a series where those within the wrestling industry touch on the concepts and philosophies that they personally value in making professional wrestling successful. During this inte…
Continue Reading January 14th, 2006
With Jim Herd’s disasterous reign as the chair of the National Wrestling Alliance booking committee a memory better off forgotten, a lawyer for Ted Turner’s Superstation TBS named Jim Frey was inexplicably promoted to fill the void left behind. He woul…
Continue Reading January 14th, 2006
Hello. I am the sharpshooter known as Damon Jones.
I currently ply my trade for the Cleveland Cavaliers, but I have also plied for the Miami Heat, the Milwaukee Bucks, the Sacramento Kings, the Detroit Pistons, the Vancouver Grizzlies, the Dallas Mavericks, the Golden State Warriors, the Boston Celtics, the New Jersey Nets, the Orlando Magic […]
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