NBA training camps have begun; the season is rapidly approaching. Can you dig it? I knew that you could. And so we continue our previews: 30 of them in 30 days. Up next is a team that wants you to love it live: The Chicago Bulls.
When last we saw them: Finished 33-49, fourth in the Central Division and 11th overall in the East. Which would have been a pretty disappointing finish even if people hadn’t been picking them to go to the Finals last season.
Key Arrivals: Derrick Rose, Elton Brown (wait, who?), Roger Powell (double who?), Darius Washington (who squared?)
The Good: Derrick Rose. (According to NBA.com, “Many consider Rose to be a 6-3 version of LeBron James.” Wait…what? Really?!) Luol Deng signed a six year, $71 million deal to stay in Chicago, which should keep him from being all sulky and distracted like he was last season. Ben Gordon finally resigned (although only for one year), and he’s really excited about it (according to his agent, anyway). The core group (Deng, Gordon and Kirk Hinrich) have been together for several years now, and that’s supposedly always a good thing (even if it wasn’t last year). Drew Gooden and Larry Hughes should be totally integrated into the team now. Vinny Del Negro has assembled a group assistants with actual NBA coaching experience (Del Harris, Bernie Bickerstaff, Bob Ociepka). Benny the Bull’s legal problems should be a thing of the past.
The Bad: An extremely crowded backcourt (which includes Rose, Hinrich, Hughes, Gordon, Sefolosha and Washington ) is complimented very noncomplimentary by an herbal tea-thin froncourt (which features two players - Joakim Noah and Tyrus Thomas - who couldn’t develop an offensive game even if a genie gave them three wishes). Del Negro is a rookie head coach who’s already being compared, by his own GM no less, to Doug Collins. That is not a good thing in my book. Rose might be their best and most important players, but he’s a rookie and it’s still unclear whether he’ll start or even how big a role he’ll play on the team this season. The Bulls used to be a premier defensive club, but they suffered the biggest defensive dropoff in the league last year (7.1 more points allowed per 100 possessions). Currently, they don’t have that defensive identity anymore…or any other identity for that matter. Ben Gordon’s one-year deal means that, once again, this is a contract year for him, and that’s probably going to affect his play and attitude. John Paxson has yet to find a reliable low post scorer, even though that’s been the team’s biggest and most glaring weakness for the last few years. This means — you guessed it! - the Bulls will yet again live and die (mostly die) by the jump shot.
Fun Facts: The EA NBA Live 09 simulated season predicts they’ll finish with 41 wins (a sad fourth in the Eastern Conference) and make the playoffs, losing in first round to the Cleveland Cavaliers. Derrick Rose goes by the nickname “Pooh,” an alias invented by his grandmother when he was an infant because, apparently, he was yellow and chubby, just like Winnie-the-Pooh. (Seriously.) Rose has a tattoo on his left bicep of a wizard holding a staff in one hand and a basketball in the other, below which is the word “Poohdini.” The Chicago Bulls are actually the third NBA team in Chicago, after the Packers/Zephyrs (now the Washington Wizards) and the Stags (1946–50). The Bulls logo has horns that are tipped with blood; it was designed by noted American sports artist Theodore W. Drake in 1966.
Videotastic extra: I always get a kick out of these Michael Jordan bloopers. Yeah, some of them happened when he was with the Wizards, but he’ll always be a Bull…no matter how many other teams he front office manages into the ground.
NBA training camps have begun; the season is rapidly approaching. Can you dig it? I knew that you could. And so we continue our previews: 30 of them in 30 days. Up next is a team that just might surprise you this season (but probably not): The Charlotte Bobcats.
When last we saw them: Finished 32-50, which was fourth in the Southeast Division and 12th overall in the East. Amazingly, with those 32 wins, they finished only five games out of the playoffs. Go Eastern Conference!
Key Arrivals: Alexis Ajinca (type that out five times fast), D.J. Augustin, Shannon Brown
Key Departures: Derek Anderson, Earl Boykins, Othella Harrington (in other words, nobody they regret parting ways with)
The Good: Oooookay. Must. Stay. Positive. Well, they paid Larry Brown a crapload of money convinced Larry Brown to coach the team. And as we all know, Brown once directed a championship ball club and stuff. He also has a history of getting the most out of underachieving and talent-challenged teams. Adam Morrison and Sean May are back, and both of them should be (coughcoughcough) healthy. They signed Emeka Okafor to a six-year contract extension. Rookie D.J. Augustin should be pretty good. Gerald Wallace is already pretty good. Jason Richardson is always capable of scoring 20 points (usually on around 20 shots). Oh, and bobcats are totally vicious. Rrowrr!!
The Bad: Remember how I mentioned Larry Brown has a history of improving bad teams? Yeah, well, he also has a bad habit of bolting at the first sign of trouble (or even boredom). To wit, this is his ninth stop as a head coach. I guess what I’m saying is: Don’t expect loyalty. Sean May has played in a whopping 58 games in three pro seasons and hasn’t materialized on the court since March 14, 2007. So, you know, I’ll trust in his health once he makes it through more than 35 games. (May already told the Charlotte Observer that: “Obviously, the knee (that he’s had three surgeries on) is going to probably be in the back of my mind. I like to say I’m not thinking about it. But subconsciously, I probably am. It’ll be a little while before I’ll get over that. I’ll have to take some hits.” Good sign, huh?) Adam Morrison might be healthy, but does that even matter? Emeka Okafor is good, but is he really $72 million over six years good? (The stats say: Not so much.) Oh, and Okafor has managed to avoid injury in only one of his four NBA seasons. Not coincidentally, that happened last season…which was a contract year. Speaking of paid absences, Gerald Wallace has also had his share of those, although he blames last year’s injuries on the fact that he had to put in so much time at power forward. Did I mention that Michael Jordan (a real front-office guru) and Nelly (the rapper) are two of the three principle owners?
Fun Facts: The EA NBA Live 09 simulated season predicts they’ll finish with 39 wins and actually make the playoffs, losing in Round One to the Miami Heat. How “good” were they last year? Here are some numbers: Points Scored 97.1 (19th); Points Allowed 101.4 (20th); Field-Goal Percentage .452 (17th); Opponents’ FG% .466 (22nd); Rebounding Diff. -3.11 (27th). Gerald Wallace suffered a Grade 3 concussion on February 23, 2008 after getting clocked by Sacramento’s Mikki Moore. For the sake of clarification, the American Association of Neurological Surgeons defines a Grade 3 concussion as ones that “involve post-traumatic amnesia for more than 24 hours or unconsciousness for more than five minutes.” Adam Morrison once portrayed Spiderman in a reenactment of the classic saga The Revenge of the Sinister Six. The parts of the Sinister Six were played by couch cushions.
Videotastic extra: Some dude named David Arnott wrote and recorded this song, and filmed the outstanding video, for a Bobcats fan contest. Remember: He doesn’t care if you don’t understand. He’ll never give up being a Bobcats fan.
NBA training camps have begun; the season is rapidly approaching. Can you dig it? I knew that you could. And so we continue our previews: 30 of them in 30 days. Up next is a team you might have heard of in the news: The Boston Celtics.
When last we saw them: Finished 66-16, best record in the league, and defeated the Los Angeles Lakers in the NBA Finals to win the franchise’s 17th NBA title.
Key Arrivals: Darius Miles, Patrick O’Bryant, rookie J.R. Giddens
Key Departures: James Posey, P.J. Brown, Scott Pollard (snicker)
The Good: Boston’s Big Three Menage a Trois have all returned and appear healthy. The starting five remained intact. The team - which was almost entirely remade in the summer of ‘07 - has been together for a full season and now have that all-important championship experience. KG’s intensity will continue to push the team. Tom Thibodeaux is still guiding their league-best defense. Their talented youngsters (Leon Powe, Rajon Rondo, Kendrick Perkins, and Glen “Big Baby” Davis) should continue to develop.
The Bad: James Posey is gone, lost to the New Orleans Hornets, and the Celtics will be hard-pressed to replace his tenacious “arms-and-elbows” perimeter defense and clutch three-point shooting. Kendrick Perkins is still recovering from the arthroscopic surgery he had on his left shoulder last July. Paul Pierce has been suffering from laryngitis for the last month, oddly enough. Darius Miles hasn’t played in an actual NBA game since 2006. Ray Allen (33), Kevin Garnett (32) and Paul Pierce (31) aren’t getting any younger…and Allen always seems like an injury waiting to happen. There seems to be some question as to whether they’ll have the same level of desire after winning the big one last year (the dreaded “Championship Hangover”). Oh, and everybody comes out gunning for the champs.
Fun Facts: The EA NBA Live 09 simulated season predicts they’ll finish with only 44 wins and fall in the Eastern Conference Finals to the Miami Heat. Ray Allen is a 12 handicap golfer and has a bowling average over 150. Red Auerbach’s brother Zangwell designed the Celtic Leprechaun logo. Former Celtic Chuck Connors - better known as TV’s “The Rifleman” - was the first NBA player to break a backboard (he did it during warmups on November 5, 1946).
Historical footnote: The Hawks aren’t the only team that had their own music video in the late 80s. Here’s a totally rad rap/song/whatever from the last time the Celtics tried to repeat as NBA champions…
NBA training camps have begun; the season is rapidly approaching. Can you dig it? I knew that you could. And so we begin our previews: 30 of them in 30 days. Let’s begin with everyone’s secret favorite: The Atlanta Hawks.
When last we saw them: Finished 37-45, third in the Southeast Division and eighth overall in the East. Lost in seven games in the first round to the eventual NBA champions, the Boston Celtics.
Key Arrivals: Mo Evans, Othello Hunter, Randolph Morris
Key Departures: Josh Childress
The Good: They retained the services of Josh Smith, their second leading scorer, after Smith signed a $58 million offer sheet to play with the Memphis Grizzlies. They have a strong starting five of Mike Bibby, Joe Johnson, Marvin Williams, Smith and Al Horford. The acquisitions of Hunter and Morris will improve their frontcourt depth. Bibby will have the benefit of a full training camp, which should lead to improved chemistry with his teammates, especially backcourt partner Joe Johnson. They’re a good fast break team that likes to crash the offensive glass. Confidence is high after the way they pushed the Celtics to the limit in the first round of last year’s playoffs.
The Bad: Josh Childress flew the coup in order to hoop it up in Greece. They tend to be inconsistent on the offensive end because they rely so heavily on streaky jump shooting (Johnson, their leading scorer, was 43 percent from the field in 2007-08). Weak three-point shooting. At times, they don’t seem to give their full effort, especially on the road, where they were 12-29 last season. They might be thinking a little too highly of themselves right now, due to their playoff performance against the Celtics (who clearly weren’t at their best in the early rounds). The EA NBA Live simulated season shows them finishing with only 36 wins and out of the playoffs.
Fun Facts: Dominique Wilkins is the new Hawks TV analyst on FSN South and SportsSouth, joining play-by-play announcer Bob Rathbun. Former NBA sniper Mark Price has joined the team as a shooting consultant. Last season, Josh Smith joined Hall of Fame Centers Hakeem Olajuwon, David Robinson, Patrick Ewing and Kareem Abdul-Jabbar as the only players in NBA history to average 17 PPG, 8 RPG, 1.5 SPT and 2.5 BPG in a single season. What’s more, Smith was younger than any of the four when they did it. The Hawks will appear on national television only once thsi season, on December 17th against the Celtics.
Historical footnote: During the 1986-87 season, local Atlanta band Tom Gross and the Varsity released a 45 rpm record for the Hawks, titled “Nothing Can Stop Us, We’re Atlanta’s Air Force.” And here’s the video:
So far this has been quite the year for Josh Howard. Drag racing. Smokin’ the reefer. And my favorite, disrespecting the National Anthem on YouTube. OK, who among is hasn’t done all three? (I’m doing two of them right now). But for Howard, high-profile small forward for the Dallas Cubans, such transgressions are magnified twenty-fold. Think of the children! And so with training camp beginning this week I knew an apology was imminent, and Mr. Howard did not disappoint. He has decided to apologize for everything at once, and we present this impressive Uber Apology here:
“I’d like to say that I’m truly and really am sorry for everything that’s happened in the last five months,” Howard said in a statement before taking questions from reporters on the first day of Mavericks training camp. “This is not the way I carry myself, not how I want to be portrayed. I’m sorry to everybody I’ve offended. I’m upset with myself and the way I’ve acted.”
That is one gob-smacker of an apology, eh? Andrew Giuliani, the ball’s in your court.
Elsewhere in the magical, exotic world of regret:
• Sorry if you haven’t received your apology email. Every time I approach the end of the list I f*** up again. — Hochuli
Well, this appears to be it for Shawn Kemp, the former NBA All-Star whose comeback has ended before it even began. Kemp, who recently signed a one-year contract to play for the Italian club Montegranaro Premiata, was cut by the team when he left training camp last week and didn’t return. Kemp spent nine days in Italy training with the club and playing in three preseason games. He then returned to the United States to check on his home in Houston after Hurricane Ike.
“I am very sorry for my inability to return to the club in a timely manner due to personal issues,” Kemp wrote in a letter posted on the team’s Web site Saturday. “I’m very sorry that these unforeseen circumstances have resulted in the club’s understandable decision.” The 38-year-old Kemp had not played since 2003 and was arrested in 2005 and 2006, both times in drug-related matters.
Kemp’s college career was similarly aborted when he left the University of Kentucky after being accused to trying to pawn some jewelery stolen from a teammate. So now we have matching bookends. The Reign Man’s reign has officially ended.
It seems like only yesterday that the New York Knicks were paying Allan Houston $20 million a year to not play for them. In fact, it was as recently as the 2006-07 season, during which Houston - who had retired in 2005 because of a arthritic left knee - was the second highest paid player in the league ($20.7 million) behind Kevin Garnett ($21 million). Of course, as Stephon Marbury has proven many times over, sometimes it’s worse to pay somebody $20 mil and actually let them play. But that’s another story altogether. The point is, Houston signed yet another contract with the Knicks on Thursday and will attempt a comeback with the team that made filthy rich.
You might not remember this, but Houston - who’s 37 years young, thank you very much - tried a comeback with the Knicks last year too. However, he didn’t join the team until 10 days into training camp due to the birth of a child, and the comeback ended six minutes into one exhibition game. But Knicks president Donnie Walsh says things are, like, totally different this time. “In that case, he hadn’t worked out that much. He just came in and started playing. Now, he feels like he’s in better position to go out and play. I accept that.”
If you say so, Donnie. Walsh didn’t comment as to whether the team doctors had invented a cure for “arthritic knee,” and I don’t know about you, but I have “limited confidence” in Houston’s ability to keep pace in coach Mike D’Antoni’s helter-skelter offense when a crucial leg joint is chock-full of chronic, painful inflammation. But on the bright side, D’Antoni-coached teams don’t have to play defense, so maybe that’ll help. I mean, it worked for Grant Hill last year, right?
Rumor has it that Houston signed for the league minimum salary of $1.26 million for a player of 10 or more years of experience. Which, even if all he does is hand out Gatorade during timeouts, is a pretty sweet bargain when compared to paying him tens of millions to sit at home playing online Scrabble. Houston plans to wear number 14 in honor of his father, Wade, one of the first African-American basketball players at the University of Louisville.
So, is Baron Davis’ Jenny Craig diet working? You be the judge. Perhaps Jessica Alba can dispense weight-loss tips (she had a baby in June). Here they are cavorting last week in Cabo — Jessica’s in the towel — as Davis prepares for the NBA preseason which begins Oct. 5 against the Hornets. This photo (and the ones following the jump) are my way of bidding adieu to Miss Alba, who will no longer be gracing courtside at Golden State Warriors games now that her pal Baron is a Clipper. Goodbye, sweet Jessica. Goodbye.
Alba and Davis are friends because of Alba’s husband, Cash Warren, who played basketball with Davis at Crossroads High School in Los Angeles. That’s why she’s turned up at various Warriors games over the past two seasons, and why I’m never likely to see her again around my Bay Area stomping grounds due to Davis signing a 5-year, $65 million dollar deal with the Clippers this past July. Now I have to settle for Penny Marshall? Thanks a lot Chris Mullin, you twit.
NBA training camps have begun; the season is rapidly approaching. Can you dig it? I knew that you could. And so we continue our previews: 30 of them in 30 days. Up next is a team that wants you to love it live: The Chicago Bulls.
NBA training camps have begun; the season is rapidly approaching. Can you dig it? I knew that you could. And so we continue our previews: 30 of them in 30 days. Up next is a team that just might surprise you this season (but probably not): The Charlotte Bobcats.
NBA training camps have begun; the season is rapidly approaching. Can you dig it? I knew that you could. And so we continue our previews: 30 of them in 30 days. Up next is a team you might have heard of in the news: The Boston Celtics.
NBA training camps have begun; the season is rapidly approaching. Can you dig it? I knew that you could. And so we begin our previews: 30 of them in 30 days. Let’s begin with everyone’s secret favorite: The Atlanta Hawks.
So far this has been quite the year for Josh Howard. Drag racing. Smokin’ the reefer. And my favorite, disrespecting the National Anthem on YouTube. OK, who among is hasn’t done all three? (I’m doing two of them right now). But for Howard, high-profile small forward for the Dallas Cubans, such transgressions are magnified twenty-fold. Think of the children! And so with training camp beginning this week I knew an apology was imminent, and Mr. Howard did not disappoint. He has decided to apologize for everything at once, and we present this impressive Uber Apology here: 
Well, this appears to be it for Shawn Kemp, the former NBA All-Star whose comeback has ended before it even began. Kemp, who recently signed a one-year contract to play for the Italian club Montegranaro Premiata, was cut by the team when he left training camp last week and didn’t return. Kemp spent nine days in Italy training with the club and playing in three preseason games. He then returned to the United States to check on his home in Houston after Hurricane Ike.
It seems like only yesterday that the New York Knicks were paying Allan Houston $20 million a year to not play for them. In fact, 
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