Posts filed under 'Baseball'
Continue Reading May 16th, 2008
Enjoy it while you can, Marlins fans. Your team may have won two World Series titles and is currently in first place in the NL Central, but things have a way of evening out (Dontrelle Willis calls it karma). According to a study cited in the Orlando Sentinel, the polar ice caps are melting at such an alarming rate that South Florida may soon be underwater. And that tends to put a crimp in concession sales.
Perhaps you remember this somewhat controversial Sports Illustrated cover from March of last year. The story examined how the effects of global warming may be causing dramatic weather swings, thus changing winter sports, and resulting in more baseball rainouts. But even SI didn’t know how prescient the cover really was.
The same day the federal government added the polar bear to the endangered species list because of global warming, South Florida water managers agreed to take a yearlong look at how melting ice could raise sea levels that could claim the southern part of the state.
Coincidently, the district’s governing board on Wednesday met in Sebring, northwest of Lake Okeechobee, which Board Chairman Eric Buermann pointed out was once Florida’s southern tip. “It may be again,” Buermann said.
The SI article was controversial because, predictably, global warming naysayers did not want politics mixed with their NFL dogfighting news. Fine. But when the Marlins’ fan base is reduced to these three people, don’t come crying to me.
Study: Will Rising Ocean Submerge Part Of South Florida? [Orlando Sentinel]
Environmental Journalism At The Crossroads [Stanford News Service]
Continue Reading May 16th, 2008
A seven-year-old Boston area Little Leaguer was benched for two games recently when his mother didn’t show up for her scheduled shift at the league snack bar. The Freetown Youth Athletic Association levied the penalty on the child due to his scofflaw mother, who claims that — get this — she had to work that day to feed her family.
Dave Brouillette, president of the Freetown Youth Athletic Association, said he doesn’t like benching the kids, but it has to be done because he can’t punish the parents. “Unfortunately, yeah, we are taking it out on the kid in the big scheme of things, but it is very difficult to punish a parent.”
And as we all know, someone MUST be punished. And since you are frail and somewhat defenseless my child, I’m afraid that it will have to be you. Carry on, Freetown Youth Athletic Association; you are helping to keep America on the right path. Because as we all know, a nation is only as strong as its ability to dispense Slim Jims.
Boy Benched After Mom Skips Concession Stand Shift [WBZTV.com]
Kid Benched When Mom Skips Concession Shift [SportsbyBrooks]
Continue Reading May 16th, 2008
Per Radar, it appears Jose Canseco is about to embark on his latest money-making idea’r and this time it involves two of his favorite pastimes: 1) Mixed martial arts, and 2) Shameless hucksterism.
Here’s what will supposedly take place at the Atlantic City Surf’s minor league baseball stadium:
Canseco is seeking three people over 200 pounds to fight him in Atlantic City’s Surf Stadium on July 12. The three dudes will get $5,000 each for going three rounds (two minutes each). Promoters reportedly prefer athletic types or celebrities to hop into the ring, but any mook’ll do.
According to Hoffman Wolff, media relations mouthpiece of the Atlantic City Surf, there have been discussions with Jose Canseco’s people to make this happen, but the date is not official yet. Wolff says they would most likely hold the event on a Surf off day, but the specifics — who Jose will fight, time, cost — are still being hashed out. Most likely, Jose’s people will probably try to shake every single cent from concessions and ticket sales, so this “event” still might never happen.
If it does, I wonder if Pat Jordan counts as enough of a celebrity? That would be quite a battle.
Jose Canseco wants to whoop you [Radar]
Continue Reading May 16th, 2008
Whatever your thoughts about Manny Ramirez and the Boston Red Sox, you had to love Manny’s wild, patented “great catch, followed by high five, followed by doubling off a runner from first base” play from Wednesday. It was a signature Manny moment; insane, absurd, joyous. But what about the fan he high fived?
The Lost Ogle blog has an interview with Randy Dunning, the recipient of the famed five. The guy is as agog as you’d expect.
When it happened all I was thinking was, holy crap, heck yeah! You can see me point down to Manny after the catch. I think that was what got his attention and he saw the lone Sox fan in the midst of a bunch of Orioles fans. I had no idea he planned on jumping up the wall, but I figured he was going to do a Lambeau Leap, so I prepared to grab his arm and pull him up. As I reached out, he slapped my hand, dropped down and made a hell of a play. Thats why, I’m not sure I’d call it a high-five. Maybe more of a slap 4.
As exciting of a highlight as that is, we still kind of wish Dunning would have grabbed his arm and pulled him, regardless. Somehow we imagine Manny still finding a way to throw the runner out, while taking a moment to eat a hot dog.
A Lost Ogle Q & A: The Manny Ramirez High Five Guy [The Lost Ogle]
Continue Reading May 16th, 2008
Remember how in Bull Durham, when Nuke LaLoosh wears a garter belt to help relax him on the mound? Well, apparently, Jason Giambi has a similar slumpbusting technique … though it’s perhaps one he shouldn’t share with the world.
Giambi told Portfolio magazine that when he’s slumping, he wears a thong. And that’s not the worst of it.
“I only put it on when I’m desperate to get out of a big slump,” he tells Portfolio.com. Over the years, the 37-year-old All-Star has left the “golden thong” in the lockers of slumping teammates Derek Jeter, Bernie Williams, Johnny Damon, Robin Ventura, and Robinson Cano.
“All of them wore it and got hits,” he reports. “The thong works every time.”
Considering the Yankees are currently in last place, one wonders how much the thong is being passed around right now. We hope this is one of those one-size-fits-all type thongs; maybe they have a special “juice-sized” thong that they broke out a few years ago but can’t use as often now.
Jason Giambi Wears Thong When In Slump [New York Daily News]
Continue Reading May 16th, 2008
What’s wrong with the Padres? With Thursday’s 4-0 loss to the Cubs, our Closest Team to Mexico is at 15-27, the worst record in the majors … that’s more horrible than Detroit, folks. The big reason seems to be the strikeouts-per-at-bats ratio, or as scientists call it, tight booties. Just listen to occasional Padres hitting instructor Tony Gwynn, who recalls former San Diego manager Dick Williams once saying that players sometimes fail because of “a tight butt.”
“I still use that line today. I just changed it up, but I tell the kids you can’t play with a tight booty. There’s nothing you can do in the game with a tight booty. You can’t run, you can’t pitch, you can’t hit, you can’t do anything.”
The Padres struck out 14 times on Thursday, (after whiffing 15 times the night before), creating a breeze in a place that doesn’t need the extra wind. The San Diego Union Tribune points out that that’s 29 strikeouts in a span of 54 outs and 20 hours. Chicago’s Ryan Dempster set a career high with 12 strikeouts Thursday (his previous high this season was seven). On Wednesday, Ted Lilly struck out 11 over six innings.
Over two games, 41 percent of the Padres who stepped into the batter’s box walked away without putting the ball in play. Not that they were working the count. Only three Padres drew walks over the course of 18 innings.
The Padres, who have been shut out four times this season, are last in the league in runs scored (140, 3.3 per game) and hitting (.233). Tadahito Iguchi struck out five times in the two games. Greg Maddux gave up 11 hits over 4 1/3 innings, leaving in the fifth following Derrek Lee’s two-run double. The Wrigley Field crowd gave the former Cub a standing ovation. Thanks to Gaslamp Ball for pointing out that Gwynn quote.
• Brandon Webb Is Probably A Robot. Or a Replicant, whatever they call things that look like us but are three times as powerful. Webb went 9-for-9 for the season, becoming the majors’ first nine-game winner in Arizona’s 8-5 triumph over Colorado. Of course it helps to have offensive support, as Stephen Drew had two doubles, a triple and a single. No one has won his first 10 starts since San Diego’s Andy Hawkins in 1985, according to the Elias Sports Bureau. Webb has won 11 straight starts dating to this past September. The Diamondbacks are 8-1 against the Rockies this season.
• Introducing Your Last-Place New York Yankees. I really didn’t mean to dwell on the negative today, but I’ve praised the Rays two or three times already this season, and the Yankees would have slipped silently into last place in the AL East had I not pointed it out. Scott Kazmir’s first start since agreeing to a $28.5 million contract extension was a winner, and Akinori Iwamura and Shawn Riggans each had homers as first-place Tampa Bay won 5-2. It may be time for George “Little Enos” Steinbrenner to give another pep talk.
• Gimme A Big Wet One. Top of the ninth, tie game. Catcher gives a target low and outside to the Astros’ Lance Berkman. Giants’ reliever Vinnie Chulk throws it inside at the belt. What happened? You freakin’ guess!
• The Dance, She Is Over. The Indians had to try really hard to break their scoreless innings streak, but they did it. Aaron Laffey gave up an unearned run on his own throwing error which ended the team’s streak of scoreless innings by starters at 44 1/3. Howevah, Cleveland won 4-2.
• Wizard Cat Defensive Play Of The Day. Wizard Cat is outraged at those fans who claim that Willie Harris’ diving catch in the bottom of the ninth may have been a trapped ball. The catch, which robbed the Mets’ Ryan Church of extra bases and probably saved the game for the Nationals, was clearly legal, and anyone who says otherwise will deal with a furious cat who is not above using your penis as a scratching post. Wizard Cat gives this catch: Six wands. And now it’s time for …
Wizard Cat’s mailbag! (Wizard Cat is a cat, and therefore cannot reply to email. He also cannot read. Email will not be read to him).
• You shouldn’t make fun of cats. — Cindy Lehr, Miramar, Calif.
• Are Wizard Cat’s abilities limited to rating individual defensive plays, or can it also provide general life advice? Because I’ve got this upstairs neighbour who is constantly vacuuming, and I’m at my wit’s end. — Gourmet Spud
• For a nominal fee, Wizard Cat will sneak into your neighbor’s home, claw-up their furniture and shit in their shoes. — Weed Against Speed
• Come back to mommy. I have new poems, and several new outfits for you to try. — Dee Mirich
• Wizard Cat: What do you think of the Jim Edmonds deal? — zebra66
Contact Wizard Cat at WizardCat@live.com
Continue Reading May 15th, 2008
Excuse us one more time for the self-indulgence, but we are gleeful to report that our 1986 St. Louis Cardinals Strat-O-Matic team has reached the World Series. We’re a little ashamed by how much joy this has brought us, but there it is.
Bob Forsch was the NLCS MVP, and now we face the hated Yankees — Don Mattingly finally made a World Series! — in the Series starting Saturday. The manager of the Yankees is Bill Daughtry, of ESPN Radio 1050-New York. We say screw Dale Berra. In a perfect world, this would be the second of three consecutive World Series appearances for our ‘Birds … though we’re gonna actually try to win this one. Stay away, Denkinger!
1986: Take Two [The Sporting News]
Continue Reading May 15th, 2008
Welcome To Minor Enterprise, in which we celebrate the world of minor league baseball promotions, and occasionally help local police solve crimes. Today, a profile on the Independent American Association’s St. Paul Saints, who are blazing new trails in creative baseball promotion.
It’s pretty safe to say that Midway Stadium in St. Paul, Minn., is the only minor league ballpark in America where one can get a professional massage from a real Catholic nun. Pictured here is Sister Rosalind, who has been doling out massage therapy at St. Paul Saints games since 1993 ($8 per ten minutes. Please form an orderly line). But fans don’t bat an eye, because the spectacle of a grown man getting a massage from a nun in the mezzanine section is really nothing special here.
In fact it’s hard to imagine something that would surprise a Saints fan at this point. After all, this is the team that has a pig bring out game balls to the home plate umpire between innings, and employs Mrs. Stepford, a prim and proper 1950s-era housewife who serves as an usherette. And don’t forget Guy Tracy, a Sam Spade-style private detective who wanders the stands investigating mysteries.
But to truly get a taste of what the Saints are about, you have to take a look at their promotional calendar. Of particular note is Sunday, May 25, when St. Paul will play host to the Fort Worth Cats. That’ll be National Tap Dance Day at Midway Stadium, when 2,500 lucky fans will receive Bobblefoot dolls. In this update of the traditional bobblehead, the Saints will hand out toys in which a bobbing foot is extended below the partition of a bathroom stall, meant to commemorate the day that Sen. Larry Craig was arrested for tapping his foot at an undercover police officer in a Minneapolis airport bathroom.
“People have come to expect that kind of thing from us, so the pressure is on every season to try and top ourselves,” said Sean Aronson, the Saints’ director of promotions who also doubles as the team’s radio play-by-play broadcaster. “When a news item like the Larry Craig incident breaks, we actually have media people calling us the next day asking what we’re going to do with it.”
Indeed, among past Saints promotions have been Michael Vick Night, in which fans received a Michael Vick doggie chew toy; Love Boat Night, commemorating the Minnesota Vikings infamous love boat sex cruise on Lake Minnetonka; Randy Moss Hood Ornament Night; and Bud Selig Seat Cushion Giveaway, in which fans could sit on a picture of Selig’s face.
Such a creative approach should really be no surprise, considering that two of the men behind the team are Mike Veeck, son of legendary major league promoter Bill Veeck, and comedian Bill Murray, part-owner of the Saints. Veeck is President of the Goldklang Group, which represents marketing and promotional rights for the Charleston RiverDogs, Hudson Valley Renegades, Ft. Myers Miracle, Sioux Falls Canaries, Brockton Rox and the Saints, the latter the group’s flagship franchise. The Saints drew 297,000 fans last season; 102 percent of stadium capacity.
Aronson (pictured), a 31-year-old University of Colorado graduate, has been with the Saints for two years, after a similar stint with the Miracle. In addition to National Tap Dance Day, the upcoming home stand beginning May 22 will include Thursday’s Salute to Ramen Noodles; Friday’s appearance by Zap of the American Gladiators (sponsored by the Minnesota Asthma Coalition); and Saturday’s Tribute to famous mime Marcel Marceau.
“I have Mike Veeck’s book, Fun Is Good, on my desk, and I live that philosophy,” Aronson said. “He comes to St. Paul a couple of times a month, and he’s an inspiration. There is an atmosphere here that promotes creativity. They want us to take chances.”
Of course there have been some ideas that haven’t worked out, such as the infamous Mime Day about eight years ago.
“This was before I came to St. Paul, but we had a game in which we put mimes on the roof of the home dugout to act as instant replay, reenacting plays,” Aronson said. “But then this kid threw a hot dog and hit one of the mimes; it also happened to be Dollar Hot Dog Night. The mimes were getting pelted with hot dogs, which was good for concessions, but the team never did that again.
“You have to remember what kind of a market St. Paul is,” Aronson said. “This area has the Twins and the Timberwolves, Lynx and the Wild, plus several college teams. We’re competing with a lot, so we have to be innovative and give people something they haven’t seen.”
One of those glorious ideas will come on July 16, when the Saints stage their promotion entitled A Monkey Can Do That!
“We’re going to bring in a real monkey, who will perform several of the tasks that we usually do,” Aronson said. “The monkey will help drag the infield, take tickets, and may even sit in on the TV side of our game broadcast. It’s really one of the most basic ideas you can come up with.”
Um, sure it is …
But please, folks, do not throw hot dogs at the monkey. Thanks.
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