ALDS Game 1 Live Blog: Indians Vs. Yankees

October 4th, 2007

The Phillies-Rockies series is half (or more) over, and the Yankees still haven't played. If they hadn't lost their spot as MLB's Prime Time Team to the Red Sox, we'd be waiting even longer. But here they are, facing an Indians team that's been underrated all season. It's C.C. Sabathia for the Indians and Chien-Ming Wang for the Yankees. And your live blogger is the great Matt Sussman. Enjoy his comedic stylings after the jump.

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Bottom 1st

Wang's first pitch ... thwack, right on Grady Sizemore's toesies. Asdrubal Cabrera -- wasn't he the cat from "The Smurfs?" -- grounds into a double play, and all Sizemore has to show for his efforts is a hurty foot. Travis Hafner draws a 2-out walk, which is fortunate, because that's also his running speed.

Top 1st

So, I promised myself I would keep the fat jokes to a minimum, but I just can't help it. Before the game, catcher Victor Martinez gave Sabathia some control advice: just pretend that the strike zone is frosting. A 3-1 pitch to Johnny Damon is CRUSHED ... deep ... deep ... foul. Foul!? Joe Torre doesn't think so, so he comes out and makes his case about the physics of time and space. Chip Caray: "the first rhubarb of the series." The first what? Now they discuss it and the umpires call it a home run. Eric Wedge comes out to complain. Logically, I assume this is the second rhubarb of the series.

Now I'm being told the Rockies/Phillies game is over. All you Chandler disciples better have moved your ass over here by now.

Derek Jeter pops out to second, but it was a clutch popout. Bobby Abreu turns a 1-2 count into a walk, and now some guy named Alex is batting. Sabathia's starting to lose his control already. No, shoulder-high isn't frosting. Shoulder-high is broccoli. Rodriguez, at one point in a 1-2 count himself, draws a walk. WHAT CLUTCHERINESS.

With C.C. already chucking 25 pitches, the coach comes out and sternly tells him about the concept of the "zone where strikes go" as Jorge Posada steps up to bat. He falls behind 2-0, then hurls three straight strikes. Mmm. delicious frosting. Matsui grounds out, and that's the inning.

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Pregame

Analysis of today's game: expect an alternating pattern of "Major League" quotes, followed by "The Scout" quotes.

AccuScore forecasts that Shelley Duncan has a 26.9 percent chance of hitting a home run. And here I thought the dead lady from "Lamb Chop's" was more of a contact hitter. The same baseball algorithm predicts that C.C. Sabathia's hat has a 99.8 percent chance to, for the 220th straight game, annoy the ever loving shit out of me.

But I think the series is best summed up by the infamous "featured comment" on ESPN.com's playoff series page:

"The playoffs are all about three things: (1) pitching, (2) pitching, and (3) pitching. Forget about the dominance of Sabathia and Carmona ... and look at the Indians' bullpen. No question which team has a major edge in pitching."

So, it's all about pitching, with the exception of the two best pitchers on the Indians.

Well, it's 6:25, and the Phillies/Rockies isn't over yet, so it sounds like the game's going to start being showed on TNT. In the meantime, I could liveblog this episode of "Law & Order." And I will. Hmmm, they appear to be interrogating a teenage Russian prostitute. This should be rather ... [channel cuts to MLB coverage] ... oh, hi Ernie Smith. Didn't see ya there. Could you knock next time?!

The game announcers Tony Gwynn, Bob Brenly, and Chip Caray. Hey, I know all those people.

Entry Filed under: Baseball