Selig announces investigation

March 30th, 2006

Major League Baseball just had their news conference to announce the official investigation into steroids. Bud sounded serious this time. He looked absolutely awful. The last couple of years seem to have really taken a lot out of him.

He claims to have started a plan to get rid of steroids as early as 1998. That seems to have worked out pretty well, considering that is the year that Bonds began taking steroids. It must have been one of those, "we'd prefer you not do it, but if you do, here's how to get away with it" plans. Those are always efficient.

Former Senate Majority Leader George Mitchell will head the investigation. He used to be an attorney and has extensive experience in criminal investigations. Bud claims the investigation will be "thorough and fair," which means the odds on him finding that nobody did steroids are 1-1. He has given Mitchell the freedom to follow the evidence "wherever it may lead," however, so one would think it would lead to some baseball players doing steroids.

He honestly looked like he would rather have watched someone have sex with his wife than give that press conference. George Mitchell seemed pretty serious about this thing, so let's hope it's quick and we can get into the post-steroid era of baseball some time in the next year.

This is all getting ridiculous and tiring. Baseball fans just want the game back without all of this extra nonsense. We bet if we polled baseball fans about the steroid scandal, most would rather have never found out at all than to have it come out the way it has. Ignorance is bliss.

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